The world of a woman.

[Mook]

At least I hadn't put any work into it unlike your contributions on the Breakfast thread

 

100 years from now, my breakfast puns will go down alongside the likes of Keats & Shakespeare.

 

Mark my words.

[Bob]

100 years from now, my breakfast puns will go down alongside the likes of Keats & Shakespeare.

 

Mark my words.

4 out of 10

[Mook]

4 out of 10

 

A bit harsh on Shakespeare there, Bob.

[Bob]

A woman that used to work for me beloved in psychics and went to loads of them. She eventually paid to go on a course to learn how to do it, and low and behold she's a psychic too, with navahoe Indian spirit guide or some shit.

 

She does it for money now.

 

Strangely, she didn't like it when on Facebook someone from our work tagged her into a post about a psychic event asking if she was going, and I pointed out the irony when she said "no, didn't know about that one".

 

She also found it was a shock when I notified her of her redundancy.

[coachpotato]

Facebook conversation:-

 

Wife's Neice: "OMG, our Josh has fallen and hit his head! We've had to take him to the hospital!"

 

Wife's Niece Mate: "OMG is he ok?"

 

Wife's Niece: "They've had to superglue his head!"

 

Wife's Niece Mate: " What to?"

[VladimirIlyich]

Facebook conversation:-

 

Wife's Neice: "OMG, our Josh has fallen and hit his head! We've had to take him to the hospital!"

 

Wife's Niece Mate: "OMG is he ok?"

 

Wife's Niece: "They've had to superglue his head!"

 

Wife's Niece Mate: " What to?"

Hahaha!

Brilliant.

[lifetime fan]

What is it with women and them having an allergic reaction to having to put fuel in a car.

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

What is it with women and them having an allergic reaction to spending money on anything that isn't a luxury item for them.

 

Fixed.

[Trumo]

What is it with women and them having an allergic reaction to having to put fuel in a car.

 

I bet some blert has published their psychological theory of men being more familiar with shoving a nozzle into a hole and pumping away, emptying the contents until they meet resistance or are satisfied with how much has been emptied.

 

And if they haven't, they have now!

[Champ]

Facebook conversation:-

 

Wife's Neice: "OMG, our Josh has fallen and hit his head! We've had to take him to the hospital!"

 

Wife's Niece Mate: "OMG is he ok?"

 

Wife's Niece: "They've had to superglue his head!"

 

Wife's Niece Mate: " What to?"

I wish I could super rep that. Absolutely brilliant!

[Paulie Dangerously]

What is it with women and them having an allergic reaction to having to put fuel in a car.

 

I remember when she put petrol in her diesel car and it was somehow my fault. 

[Champ]

What is it with women and them having an allergic reaction to having to put fuel in a car.

I was typing out a big long moan but I'll just cut to the chase...

 

Negged for repeat generalisation offences

 

Edit. Ruins effect by repping you by accident

[Paulie Dangerously]

I was typing out a big long moan but I'll just cut to the chase...

 

Negged for repeat generalisation offences

 

Edit. Ruins effect by repping you by accident

 

Negged for attempting to neg someone for generalising on a thread dedicated to taking the piss out of all our women being nutters

[mattyq]

Somebody I used to work with has a wife who absolutely refuses to ever go into a petrol station.

She once parked up, opposite a garage, about 5 miles away from where we worked and rang him up to tell him he had to come over, pick the car up and fill it with fuel.

Not sure who was madder; her for generally being mad or him for going over and indulging her madness

[Champ]

Negged for attempting to neg someone for generalising on a thread dedicated to taking the piss out of all our women being nutters

Which is all well and good and while I may be guilty of equally heinous crimes I don't let the car run dry, I am the one turning lights and heating off at ours and the one who keeps my other half's spending in check. I don't believe in psychics and I'm not on Faceaids

[Mook]

Which is all well and good and while I may be guilty of equally heinous crimes I don't let the car run dry, I am the one turning lights and heating off at ours and the one who keeps my other half's spending in check. I don't believe in psychics and I'm not on Faceaids

 

[Fowlers God]

Champ, negged

[Paulie Dangerously]

Is anyone not convinced that Champ is genuinely a woman?  

[moof]

Is anyone not convinced that Champ is genuinely a woman?

I think she's just one of the few good ones

[Champ]

I think she's just one of the few good ones

What are you after? x

[stringvest]

What are you after? x

 

your sandals, probably.

[General Dryness]

Which is all well and good and while I may be guilty of equally heinous crimes I don't let the car run dry, I am the one turning lights and heating off at ours and the one who keeps my other half's spending in check. I don't believe in psychics and I'm not on Faceaids

 

 

Is anyone not convinced that Champ is genuinely a woman?

Yeah, she talks like us, but just enough not like us to be unsettling.

 

I'm pretty sure she's a woman though. Although having said that it was fairly dark down that alley.

[Bjornebye]

Trying to teach the dog to do stuff. I'm happy with him just sitting and staying, or coming when you call his name. I don't want a fucking panto act. Anyway she has bought some fucking bells that hang off the back door so she can teach the dog to ring them when he needs a piss/shit. Walk in the kitchen this morning and she is smearing salmon paste on one of the bells. "The fuck you doing that for?" I ask. She tuts at me and says we need to associate the bells with treats so the dog gets used too them. "Ok so when he wants food he will just ring the bell" again another tut then a sigh, "you wouldn't understand.... its gradual" 

 

Fucking typical of our daily conversations about the dog. I ask it to do something or call it off the couch "down" and she will tut and go "It's off, you have to say off, down is for him getting down, your confusing him" Thinks she is a fucking dog whisperer. Cunt. 

[Carvalho Diablo]

Is anyone not convinced that Champ is genuinely a woman?  

 

She makes exceedingly good biscuits.

[General Dryness]

Trying to teach the dog to do stuff. I'm happy with him just sitting and staying, or coming when you call his name. I don't want a fucking panto act. Anyway she has bought some fucking bells that hang off the back door so she can teach the dog to ring them when he needs a piss/shit. Walk in the kitchen this morning and she is smearing salmon paste on one of the bells. "The fuck you doing that for?" I ask. She tuts at me and says we need to associate the bells with treats so the dog gets used too them. "Ok so when he wants food he will just ring the bell" again another tut then a sigh, "you wouldn't understand.... its gradual"

 

Fucking typical of our daily conversations about the dog. I ask it to do something or call it off the couch "down" and she will tut and go "It's off, you have to say off, down is for him getting down, your confusing him" Thinks she is a fucking dog whisperer. Cunt.

You caught your missus smearing her salmon paste on a bell?

 

I hope you kicked his head in and put her out on the street, the strumpet.