The world of a woman.

[Bjornebye]

Good luck Paulie D 

[bouncebrigade]

Got my driving test in a couple of hours and just want to sit quietly with the baby relaxing. Instead every 5 mins I'm getting

 

'are you ok?'

'are you nervous?'

'I remember being dead nervous'

'most people fail the first time because of the nerves you know?'

'try not to let the nerves get the better of you'

Et infinitum

 

I've come to the shithouse to get a break. I wonder how long it'll be before I hear 'have you got an upset stomach...due to the nerves?'

 

Red means go, green means stop.

[Ranxerox]

Got my driving test in a couple of hours and just want to sit quietly with the baby relaxing. Instead every 5 mins I'm getting

 

'are you ok?'

'are you nervous?'

'I remember being dead nervous'

'most people fail the first time because of the nerves you know?'

'try not to let the nerves get the better of you'

Et infinitum

 

I've come to the shithouse to get a break. I wonder how long it'll be before I hear 'have you got an upset stomach...due to the nerves?'

 

 

 Driving instructors like a student confident enough to bend the rules a bit. Nervous types studiously making all of their shoulder checks, signals and maintaining safe distances are always failed for showing a lack of courage and self-confidence that only comes from years or real world driving. Don't be afraid to bring along a refreshment or take a call on your mobile, use the horn and make a gesture or two at your fellow motorists. A pre-exam tip is also good thought.

[PestiRed]

Driving instructors like a student confident enough to bend the rules a bit. Nervous types studiously making all of their shoulder checks, signals and maintaining safe distances are always failed for showing a lack of courage and self-confidence that only comes from years or real world driving. Don't be afraid to bring along a refreshment or take a call on your mobile, use the horn and make a gesture or two at your fellow motorists. A pre-exam tip is also good thought.

This is true. I was speeding twice on my test and my mum had a double brandy before hers. I also hear that driving instructors appreciate applicants who understand that mums picking their kids up from school should be run off the roads as they are unnecessary traffic

[Bjornebye]

Old people are worth 100 points and zebra crossings are only for Zebra's to use. 

[bouncebrigade]

 Driving instructors like a student confident enough to bend the rules a bit. Nervous types studiously making all of their shoulder checks, signals and maintaining safe distances are always failed for showing a lack of courage and self-confidence that only comes from years or real world driving. Don't be afraid to bring along a refreshment or take a call on your mobile, use the horn and make a gesture or two at your fellow motorists. A pre-exam tip is also good thought.

 

Get on the ale as well.  And while you're at it, they love when you drive on the wrong side of the road.  Shows confidence in your own ability.

[A Red]

Show initiative by doing an emergency stop every 50 yards

[Mook]

Having a fag out the window & wolf whistling at clearly under age girls are also strongly recommended. 

[Rico1304]

Got my driving test in a couple of hours and just want to sit quietly with the baby relaxing. Instead every 5 mins I'm getting 'are you ok?''are you nervous?''I remember being dead nervous''most people fail the first time because of the nerves you know?''try not to let the nerves get the better of you'Et infinitumI've come to the shithouse to get a break. I wonder how long it'll be before I hear 'have you got an upset stomach...due to the nerves?'[/quote

 

Have a couple of pints, calm the nerves.

[Paulie Dangerously]

Passed it with 9 minors. Had s nightmare pre-test lesson but test went well

[Bogman]

well in my man.

[Bjornebye]

Passed it with 9 minors. Had s nightmare pre-test lesson but test went well

 

Well done mate

 

Sobered up yet? 

[Paulie Dangerously]

Examiner was a woman. Give her a wink before we set off

[Rico1304]

Examiner was a woman. Give her a wink before we set off

Predictive text?

[Robbo29]

_{well done Paulie}

[Trumo]

Passed it with 9 minors. Had s nightmare pre-test lesson but test went well

 

They were probably all arguing over who was going to drive.

[Furmedge]

Passed it with 9 minors. Had s nightmare pre-test lesson but test went well

Well done to you and the other 9 kids who passed. I thought you had to be 17 to drive but there you have it.

[AL66GOLF]

My best mate knocked a guy off his bike when he was doing his test many years ago.

The kid cycled out in front of him!

[Guest davelfc]

My best mate knocked a guy off his bike when he was doing his test many years ago.

The kid cycled out in front of him!

 

They're rarely given but that I am sure would constitute a pass with honours. 

[Bjornebye]

"These are really good at golf, none of them have missed the ball once!" 

 

"Is Madrid in Spain then?" 

 

Can't cope with this today 

[Trumo]

What the fuck does she do with the oxygen mate?

[Bjornebye]

What the fuck does she do with the oxygen mate?

 

Pretends its helium 

[Dr Nowt]

An old mate of mine has married a right earth mother, and they've had four girls who's names all begin with the letter I and take in various hippy angles, each one becoming more airy fairy than the last.  She's got them on Facebook and just told me their latest one's name, which seems to rhyme with Bananarama. 

 

I said to her, if they ever finally have a boy they should call him Ian for a nod to self-awareness and humour.

 

She goes, "No, what about Dave?"

[chrisbonnie]

An old mate of mine has married a right earth mother, and they've had four girls who's names all begin with the letter I and take in various hippy angles, each one becoming more airy fairy than the last. She's got them on Facebook and just told me their latest one's name, which seems to rhyme with Bananarama.

 

I said to her, if they ever finally have a boy they should call him Ian for a nod to self-awareness and humour.

 

She goes, "No, what about Dave?"

Loads of parents do this shit these days. My cousins kids all start with the letter K, my neighbors all start with J. Seriously, do they only open one page of the "baby names" book. Twats

 

Oh, my sister in law came out with a new one during dinner the other night. She got my missus to make her some custard for desert, after eating the custard, which was shit by the way. The sister in law says. "Oh I used to really like custard, but I much prefer, pan, panche, panchetta" me, "you mean panacotta don't you?

 

Masters degree my fucking hole.

[Dr Nowt]

Pork belly>custard.