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The world of a woman.


Ezekiel 25:17
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I bought a cheap wine/ alcohol bundle through work ( we deliver specialty drinks through 1 depot) and there is a 1978 £50 bottle of port in there. I'm away this weekend so she is having some of the mum's from school over. She text me yesterday and asked I'd she could use my port to make cheeky vimti's with. When I replied "can you fuck" I got a barrage if abuse that it will just sit in my drinks cabinet and gather dust etc etc. When I replied that I'd only had it two weeks and hadn't had a special occasion for getting it out yet and that I'd just added a £6.49 bottle of port to the Asda shopping I was being selfish!

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Used to like a nice glass of port when I was a drinker. My flatmate at the time and I would share a bottle before a night out in a vain attempt to appear cultured. The effect was wasted as nobody else was watching.

 

We knew. That was enough.

 

The pint pots kinda ruined the effect too

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They have no logic

 

I work 45 hours a week. Off today during which I've been the doctors, Seen my dad who is in a care home, seen my mum who I see once a week, been gym, walked the dog and cleaned the bathroom and done dishes.

 

I'm lazy though because I haven't cleaned the front room

 

She only works part time, finishes at 1 after four hours and often "rests her eyes" in the afternoon but I'm lazy!

I been taking a bit of time off this last while and the wife has been working more. So consequently I've been doing the kids running about, the housework and the dinner.

The kids have never been so well fed, I have not missed a session in the gym, housework is done by 10am, I watch 2-3 films a day.

Missus is laughing at me because I am saying how knackered I am with all this work and saying maybe now I will appreciate her a bit more. I will if I can crack at this for a few more weeks it is bliss.

 

Feet up with 3rd coffee.

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Ben Folds has some choice words to say on the matter - notably his breakup songs.  The man's had about 5 marriages, so he's well versed in the subtle dynamic changes and the wider impact of a split, notably the way 'her' friends will take her side regardless of the facts of the matter.  Be warned.  Stay safe.  Stay single.

 

 

The bitch went nuts
She stabbed my basketball
And the speakers to my stereo
She called me cunt
But nothing prepared me for
What I found when I came home

Oh and I
Make my own bed
I lie in it
You lie in yours (you lie, you lie in yours)
But they want more
They're at my door
With torches
Please leave me alone
You know just shut it just shut it just shut it

The bitch went nuts
She photoshopped my face (shopped his face)
On to every boy who'd done her wrong
Then she burned them telepathically
Onto the brains of all her embittered drones

Oh now
Now they want more
They're at my door
With torches, scores and scores and scores
To settle with themselves
Who would have thought
I'd scorned them all
They've got a doll of me
They're burning, they're burning, they're burnin 
Their own memories

Why do they all know? (Go!)

The bitch went nuts y'all
But everyone said she might
Oh, holy fuckin' shit
Seriously now
Now they want more
they're at my door
with torches, scores and scores
You would have thought
I'd scorned them all
They've got a doll of me
They're burnin'

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http://hetexted.com/

 

Girls post screenshots of their text conversations with men they like (or in some cases, don’t like) and ask the studio audience what it all means. The readers then vote on whether the guy in the text messaging conversation is into her, not into her, or the verdict is still out.

 

It's hilarious and backs up the old 'treat them mean keep them keen' adage

 

All the posts start with "So..."

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Mate of mine lives in a tiny little terraced cottage up the road.  He comes back from work to find his wife has bought a 60 inch Samsung TV.  It only just fits on the wall, and their sofa is about 6 ft away from the opposite wall.  It also has 3D.  My mate's never suffered from migraines before now, but the unhappy combination of 3D and a screen 2 inches from your nose is causing him big problems.   The house is like a fucking IMAX.  If the telly is on, you can't walk into the room without falling down as it fucks up your senses.  He's really unhappy, even though he loves watching the footy.   He's now had to watch TV in the bedroom on his old shite TV, while she's there downstairs, basically sitting at the bar in the Rovers Return or the Queen Vic all fucking night.

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http://hetexted.com/

 

Girls post screenshots of their text conversations with men they like (or in some cases, don’t like) and ask the studio audience what it all means. The readers then vote on whether the guy in the text messaging conversation is into her, not into her, or the verdict is still out.

 

It's hilarious and backs up the old 'treat them mean keep them keen' adage

 

 

 

I texted him a "Thinking of you and hoping you are having a wonderful day." 

He texted: " I was having a good day now I am having a wonderful day :) 

I hope you are having a wonderful day also :)

Was he referring to my text when he said he was having a good day and now a wonderful day or was he referring to maybe something he was doing- thanks

 

Fucking hell. It's scary how the female mind works, of course I am using the word works quite wrongly. She's clearly as dumb as a bag of wet mice. 

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Mate of mine lives in a tiny little terraced cottage up the road. He comes back from work to find his wife has bought a 60 inch Samsung TV. It only just fits on the wall, and their sofa is about 6 ft away from the opposite wall. It also has 3D. My mate's never suffered from migraines before now, but the unhappy combination of 3D and a screen 2 inches from your nose is causing him big problems. The house is like a fucking IMAX. If the telly is on, you can't walk into the room without falling down as it fucks up your senses. He's really unhappy, even though he loves watching the footy. He's now had to watch TV in the bedroom on his old shite TV, while she's there downstairs, basically sitting at the bar in the Rovers Return or the Queen Vic all fucking night.

This is not the fanny of a man thread

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photo_15.png?w=350&h=525

 

These are obviously young ones but she writes below:

 

…SO NOW I’M WONDERING?
ok so…i like REALLY like this guy. we have a great connection, and i’m really falling for him. i really want to get to know him better but he is always so busy with work and lives thirty three miles away. should i move closer?? i think this could really work out but i dont want to move all the way out there and have my heart broken. thoughts??

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Posted Image

 

These are obviously young ones but she writes below:

 

…SO NOW I’M WONDERING?

ok so…i like REALLY like this guy. we have a great connection, and i’m really falling for him. i really want to get to know him better but he is always so busy with work and lives thirty three miles away. should i move closer?? i think this could really work out but i dont want to move all the way out there and have my heart broken. thoughts??

Translation is; Thanks for the sex but I dont want a relationship as i want to keep banging different birds before Im too old to get an erection.
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I bought a cheap wine/ alcohol bundle through work ( we deliver specialty drinks through 1 depot) and there is a 1978 £50 bottle of port in there. I'm away this weekend so she is having some of the mum's from school over. She text me yesterday and asked I'd she could use my port to make cheeky vimti's with. When I replied "can you fuck" I got a barrage if abuse that it will just sit in my drinks cabinet and gather dust etc etc. When I replied that I'd only had it two weeks and hadn't had a special occasion for getting it out yet and that I'd just added a £6.49 bottle of port to the Asda shopping I was being selfish!

I'm fuming for you mate and I don't even drink port. 

 

Reminds me of when I would take a hip flask of Single malt with me on various holidays and drink it at a good moment. Sometimes I'd share it and if I was ever with an American, they'd shoot the fucker. 

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I'm fuming for you mate and I don't even drink port.

 

Reminds me of when I would take a hip flask of Single malt with me on various holidays and drink it at a good moment. Sometimes I'd share it and if I was ever with an American, they'd shoot the fucker.

I've also got a JD silver select single barrel at home that I've had for less than a week. It's unopened and will remain that way until either parents die, we win 19 or some other really special occasion. Also have a £13 Asda own bourbon, guess which one I caught her trying to put some diet coke in last night! There was nearly a murder.

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