What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[Bob]

1 hour ago, TheHowieLama said:

 

Every glass - empty. Not half empty - not half full. Empty.

 

Fuck you Bob.

They were yet to be washed up washing up. I'm a lazy shit.

[Chip Butty]

[TheHowieLama]

3 hours ago, Bob said:

They were yet to be washed up washing up. I'm a lazy shit.

How is there a full breakfast being served with a bunch of stuff not yet washed?? What is that, from last night?

 

[Bob]

2 hours ago, TheHowieLama said:

How is there a full breakfast being served with a bunch of stuff not yet washed?? What is that, from last night?

 

I made the food for my tea. I cooked it at half time in the footie. There were glasses on the side from earlier in the day. I'm OK with all of that.

[lifetime fan]

1 hour ago, Bob said:

I made the food for my tea. I cooked it at half time in the footie. There were glasses on the side from earlier in the day. I'm OK with all of that.

Washing up is overrated. 

[TheHowieLama]

23 minutes ago, lifetime fan said:

Washing up is overrated. 

 

The water just tamps down the embers anyway.

[Bob]

Lovely. My hangover has gone. I can get on with a productive day for a few hours before the tiredness kicks in and I fall asleep in front of some football.

 

 

[Rushies tash]

12 minutes ago, Bob said:

Lovely. My hangover has gone. I can get on with a productive day for a few hours before the tiredness kicks in and I fall asleep in front of some football.

 

 

 

Repped despite the beans. And as for them touching the egg... *shudders*

[RJ Fan club]

14 minutes ago, Bob said:

Lovely. My hangover has gone. I can get on with a productive day for a few hours before the tiredness kicks in and I fall asleep in front of some football.

 

 

Have you got an Hinari Toaster Bob? Looks anaemic  

[Bjornebye]

Not keen on the toast triangles and obviously the beans are disgusting bob but the rest actually looks lovely. 
 

0/10 

[YorkshireRed]

50 minutes ago, Bob said:

Lovely. My hangover has gone. I can get on with a productive day for a few hours before the tiredness kicks in and I fall asleep in front of some football.

 

 

I knew Santa was real. He lives with Bob and looks flabbergasted at how shit his breakfasts are. 

[Bjornebye]

1 hour ago, Rushies tash said:

 

Repped despite the beans. And as for them touching the egg... *shudders*

Negged for repping beans touching an egg 

[TheBitch]

23 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Negged for repping beans touching an egg 

Repped for negging beans touching an egg. 

[Bjornebye]

12 minutes ago, TheBitch said:

Repped for negging beans touching an egg. 

Repped for acknowledging that repping beans touching an egg is neg worthy 

[RJ Fan club]

42 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Repped for acknowledging that repping beans touching an egg is neg worthy 

Both repped.

 

I'm not arsed about beans, I can go with or without. I can swing both ways, switch hit, AC/DC, half rice half chips.

 

But there are rules, basic standards.

 

Ramekins are a necessary evil when getting a fry up out, as there is always some picky get who will moan and they do at least ensure it doesn’t pollute. Do that at home you’re a cunt.

 

Beans should be well cooked through, the juice reduced so the beans are nearly a sludge, juice should never infect the better constituent parts of the cooked breakfast. 
 

The beans should always be hot, lukewarm beans can fuck off.

Preferably Heinz but Branston is okay too.

 

Beans should never touch the fucking egg. Ever. They should be placed 180 degrees from the egg. And preferably not touch meat. Perhaps dammed by a sausage for the amateur cook, but can be held back by a fried slice or toast. 

[Bob]

3 hours ago, RJ Fan club said:

Have you got an Hinari Toaster Bob? Looks anaemic  

The toast could've done with a touch longer, you're right. 

[Bob]

2 hours ago, TheBitch said:

Repped for negging beans touching an egg. 

Coward.

[Bob]

1 hour ago, RJ Fan club said:

Both repped.

 

I'm not arsed about beans, I can go with or without. I can swing both ways, switch hit, AC/DC, half rice half chips.

 

But there are rules, basic standards.

 

Ramekins are a necessary evil when getting a fry up out, as there is always some picky get who will moan and they do at least ensure it doesn’t pollute. Do that at home you’re a cunt.

 

Beans should be well cooked through, the juice reduced so the beans are nearly a sludge, juice should never infect the better constituent parts of the cooked breakfast. 
 

The beans should always be hot, lukewarm beans can fuck off.

Preferably Heinz but Branston is okay too.

 

Beans should never touch the fucking egg. Ever. They should be placed 180 degrees from the egg. And preferably not touch meat. Perhaps dammed by a sausage for the amateur cook, but can be held back by a fried slice or toast. 

All these rules, to enable your cowardice. You're gonna want all that lovely bean juice to get  mopped up by your sausage or your toast or your black pudding anyway, embrace it. 

[TheBitch]

Lads I’ve got this all wrong. 
 

I read that cunt Stigs post wrong. 
 

Fuck you Stig. 

[TheBitch]

6 minutes ago, Bob said:

Coward.

I’ve seen the error of my ways and negged Stig on the strength of it. 
 

I'm on your side Bob.

[TheBitch]

2 hours ago, TheBitch said:

Repped for negging beans touching an egg. 

Neg this post. 

[Fugitive]

4 hours ago, Bob said:

Lovely. My hangover has gone. I can get on with a productive day for a few hours before the tiredness kicks in and I fall asleep in front of some football.

 

 

Fuck you, Bob.

[Stouffer]

4 hours ago, Bob said:

Lovely. My hangover has gone. I can get on with a productive day for a few hours before the tiredness kicks in and I fall asleep in front of some football.

 

 

 

Mrs, S. isn't impressed because there are no car keys.

 

She's right as well.

 

Looks good that though.

[lifetime fan]

7 hours ago, Bob said:

Lovely. My hangover has gone. I can get on with a productive day for a few hours before the tiredness kicks in and I fall asleep in front of some football.

 

 

The fuck did you to that bread? 
 

Slightly warm it up by driving over it at speed? 

[YorkshireRed]

It’s one thing if a cafe cuts your toast into triangles but if you choose to do it yourself then surely it’s a cry for help of some kind. 
 

Are you ok Bob? How can someone other than me help?