What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[Tony Moanero]

41 minutes ago, Barrington Womble said:

I took a client for breakfast yesterday, it was near his office which is why it was chosen, but completely awful. One of the worst breakfasts I've ever had. I don't know the name of the place, but it was in Paul Street in Shoreditch. £7, so not too expensive for the area. But........

 

Eggs were overcooked

Sausages just has a very weird taste and we're reheated and not warm enough. 

They somehow made toast shit. 

The bacon was kind of ok, as were the beans. 

The hash browns he microwaved then stuck on some sort of George foremen grill type of thing. 

No black pudding on offer. Mushrooms available for weird people. 

The tea was about half a cup of milk 

 

1/10

That looks awful. I’d have sent it back and asked for a refund. I’d sooner have a bowl of dry Kellogg’s All-Bran!

[Bjornebye]

How long is your thumb by the way? jesus wept 

[TheHowieLama]

That's not his thumb.

[Pureblood]

7 hours ago, belarus said:

Red bull. In a glass? With food? Good lord

Try it as a once in a while treat with the glass full of ice. It'll change your life. 

[Barrington Womble]

2 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

Someones had a shit in the middle of a perfectly good looking breakfast there. I assume your client is taking you to court? 

 

Why have they used two different types of sausage though? And why does one look lik.... oh. Oh. Shoredicth for you. 

 

Did you take him to Browns? 

The sausages were the same type even though they look different. 

 

Unfortunately browns is still shut. We did talk about going there when it's all over though. Or the sports bar. 

[Bjornebye]

3 minutes ago, Barrington Womble said:

The sausages were the same type even though they look different. 

 

Unfortunately browns is still shut. We did talk about going there when it's all over though. Or the sports bar. 

I've sat in Browns on a saturday afternoon watching soccer saturday. Great place. 

[Pureblood]

I bet you go for a piss when it's pound in the pot time. 

[Bjornebye]

5 minutes ago, TK421 said:

I bet you go for a piss when it's pound in the pot time. 

I don't. I bet you pay for a lapdance then tell your mates you reckon she's into you. 

[Pureblood]

Just now, Bjornebye said:

I don't. I bet you pay for a lapdance then tell your mates you reckon she's into you. 

Nah, I don't really like those places. It's like having a juicy steak placed in front of you, but you're not allowed to eat it. 

 

Had a mate who blew £500 on a girl at Spearmint Rhinos cos he "thought she liked me". 

[Bjornebye]

2 minutes ago, TK421 said:

Nah, I don't really like those places. It's like having a juicy steak placed in front of you, but you're not allowed to eat it. 

 

Had a mate who blew £500 on a girl at Spearmint Rhinos cos he "thought she liked me". 

Yeah I don't bother with the personal dances, tbh I don't like them much myself but I did have a laugh in there when I went. me and my mate checking our footy bets and watching SSN while my mate did exactly what I just said and kept getting dances off the same girl who he reckons said she'd call him later that night....

[Barrington Womble]

1 hour ago, TK421 said:

Nah, I don't really like those places. It's like having a juicy steak placed in front of you, but you're not allowed to eat it. 

 

Had a mate who blew £500 on a girl at Spearmint Rhinos cos he "thought she liked me". 

 

1 hour ago, Bjornebye said:

Yeah I don't bother with the personal dances, tbh I don't like them much myself but I did have a laugh in there when I went. me and my mate checking our footy bets and watching SSN while my mate did exactly what I just said and kept getting dances off the same girl who he reckons said she'd call him later that night....

You fellas need to pick better birds for your lapdances. 

[Bjornebye]

18 minutes ago, Barrington Womble said:

 

You fellas need to pick better birds for your lapdances. 

Do yours like you? Like a ‘connection’ ?

[Pureblood]

27 minutes ago, Barrington Womble said:

 

You fellas need to pick better birds for your lapdances. 

S'pose I might find a use for the cucumber. 

[Barrington Womble]

1 hour ago, Bjornebye said:

Do yours like you? Like a ‘connection’ ?

No, they think I'm a far cunt. But in those Shoreditch places they normally offer a bit more than window shopping. 

[Bjornebye]

16 minutes ago, Barrington Womble said:

No, they think I'm a far cunt. But in those Shoreditch places they normally offer a bit more than window shopping. 

 

 

[TheHowieLama]

This mornings first post in this thread was from Belarus - now in the top 5 of posters in this thread,  for very obvious reason - it was a bit of a let down as there were no new images.

It has now regressed to a few incels who couldn't cook their way out of a pair of sweatpants discussing lappies.

Pffft.

 

#bonerinsweatpants

[Jose Jones]

Went round to my mate Ed’s to watch the unmentionable. He was good enough to provide breakfast, not a bad effort.

 

[Pureblood]

Egg yolks have been cunted in the bastard.  Otherwise, good. 

[cloggypop]

6 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

Yeah I don't bother with the personal dances, tbh I don't like them much myself but I did have a laugh in there when I went. me and my mate checking our footy bets and watching SSN while my mate did exactly what I just said and kept getting dances off the same girl who he reckons said she'd call him later that night....

This takes me back to when Stig was first on here and used to post about getting blow jobs off women he was managing in an effort to impress the lads. 

[Tony Moanero]

21 minutes ago, Jose Jones said:

Went round to my mate Ed’s to watch the unmentionable. He was good enough to provide breakfast, not a bad effort.

 

Cunt plate.

[Jose Jones]

8 minutes ago, TK421 said:

Egg yolks have been cunted in the bastard.  Otherwise, good. 

That was my fault, I accidentally burst them when transferring to the cunt plate.

[Pureblood]

1 minute ago, Jose Jones said:

That was my fault, I accidentally burst them when transferring to the cunt plate.

I have to mention the butter melting issue on the toast, too.  Looks like the toast was left too long before the spread was added.  I can't let it go.

 

But it does look very good overall.  This isn't a negative review.

[Bjornebye]

1 hour ago, Jose Jones said:

Went round to my mate Ed’s to watch the unmentionable. He was good enough to provide breakfast, not a bad effort.

 

Friendly Dragon this Ed ?

1 hour ago, cloggypop said:

This takes me back to when Stig was first on here and used to post about getting blow jobs off women he was managing in an effort to impress the lads. 

I was. You’re only jealous that the last nosh you got was in the bath using your flannel listening to UB40 

[heavyrotation]

Big Breakfast at Das Bistro, Bali. 

 

Ukranian, Noggie, Belrussian nor British brekkies can hold a candle to this beast. Some of the efforts on this thread make me weep with joy that the UK has fucked off from the EU!

 

2 bratwurst, 6 rashers of Bacon (sent back to crisp up a bit), a haufen Bratkartoffeln, twelvty pan roasted cherry tomatoes and a mound of well cooked fresh mushrooms (none of those canned ones favoured by nonces) and two perfectly fried eggs with runny yolks. As much toasted bread as you can shake a stick at (ignoring the brown bread is for sex offenders jibe, give ya head a wobble) The price...£2.50 with a cappuccino.

 

Ze Germans do it better.

[Bjornebye]

23 minutes ago, heavyrotation said:

Big Breakfast at Das Bistro, Bali. 

 

Ukranian, Noggie, Belrussian nor British brekkies can hold a candle to this beast. Some of the efforts on this thread make me weep with joy that the UK has fucked off from the EU!

 

2 bratwurst, 6 rashers of Bacon (sent back to crisp up a bit), a haufen Bratkartoffeln, twelvty pan roasted cherry tomatoes and a mound of well cooked fresh mushrooms (none of those canned ones favoured by nonces) and two perfectly fried eggs with runny yolks. As much toasted bread as you can shake a stick at (ignoring the brown bread is for sex offenders jibe, give ya head a wobble) The price...£2.50 with a cappuccino.

 

Ze Germans do it better.

I like how they only cooked half the bacon so you'd die before you noticed that the bread had sat on a radiator for 14 seconds.