What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[Ezekiel 25:17]

The ultimate breakfast, for me:

 

Three small-medium fluffy pancakes(NA Style, none of this crepe business)

Two sausages (I'm not fussy about cooking style or make: pork, beef --- grilled would be nice)

Four streaky bacon (fried, grilled, whatever... just give me fucking bacon)

Two eggs - Fried.

Toast.

 

Maple syrup over everything, except the eggs, and toast. Have you ever used the toast to transfer the egg yoke to your stomach? It's an ace delivery system for that.

 

Orange Juice.

And a Post-Breakfast cuppa to aid in the digestion of said meal.

 

The ultimate Bumfest.

[Ezekiel 25:17]

Beans are ace, just open the can slightly and drain a little of the juice off. Best beans you can get are Cross and Blackwell, but HP are also nice. Heinz Beans are fucking dire, watery sweet, seriously over priced shite, oh and never ever microwave beans, they have to be slowly cooked on the hob, beans.

[Guest ShoePiss]

Not sure how I missed this the first time around.

 

Remmie aren't you veggie? Why are you even on this amazing thread, don't you have some grains to nibble on?

 

Beans are ok, I'll have them if there isn't loads of juice, overcooked is the way to go but they are not a must.

 

Smoked Back Bacon

Lincolnshire or cumberland sausages

Black pudding

Mushrooms fried in the bacon fat

two poached eggs

toast - wheat or white

Some kind of potato like hash browns or potato cake

Pint of Orange

Stumptown Coffee

 

Separate plate :-

Manx or Scottish kippers

 

Separate plate :-

Belgium waffles with butter and maple syrup

 

Milky tea no sugar to end it.

[Guest Numero Veinticinco]

Best beans you can get are Cross and Blackwell, but HP are also nice..

 

That's earned you a tasty rep for two reasons.

 

1. Your knowledge of beans is outstanding.

2. You hold exactly the same opinion on bean brands as I do.

 

You're a connoisseur, Zeke.

[Guest PurpleNose]

You've got a nerve, Numero.

 

You big griller.

[Mendoza]

 

Best beans there are.

[Crazyhorse7778]

Have to admit, as much as I like beans I can rarely tell the difference between the brands. I would fail the bean equivalent of the Pepsi challenge every time, it's my cross to bear.

[Ezekiel 25:17]

 

Best beans there are.

 

Yep, I called them Cross and Blackwell as I thought they were the same company ??, hopefully that's what Nueve meant as well, thick texture, just amazing.

[Guest Numero Veinticinco]

Yep, I called them Cross and Blackwell as I thought they were the same company ??, hopefully that's what Nueve meant as well, thick texture, just amazing.

 

Almost exactly the same as C+B those. Confusing. Same looking, too. I'd say that they are probably the same beans packaged slightly differently. Thick and rich. I like to overcook mine, with white pepper, and they turn out really well.

[Ezekiel 25:17]

Almost exactly the same as C+B those. Confusing. Same looking, too. I'd say that they are probably the same beans packaged slightly differently. Thick and rich. I like to overcook mine, with white pepper, and they turn out really well.

 

I've looked that shit up, they're the same beans fo sho.

[Carradona]

I get Branston beans too. They are 2p dearer than the Heinz ones in my local Tesco for a four pack. Deffo worth the 0.5p per tin extra, I've got to say.

[Ezekiel 25:17]

I get Branston beans too. They are 2p dearer than the Heinz ones in my local Tesco for a four pack. Deffo worth the 0.5p per tin extra, I've got to say.

 

That's ludicrous Cain, they are much cheaper than Heinz, I was getting them in Asda at 4 tins for a quid the other week.

[Fugitive]

My perfect Fry up consists of...

 

Steak

3 slices Bacon

2 Sausages

2 Black Pudding

2 Fried Egg

Fried Mushrooms

Fried Toast.

 

A Yank friend of mine converted me to throwing a steak on a fry up. Couldn't understand why it's not common over here and now I cant understand why it's not either.

 

Fuck your beans right off though.

[Carradona]

That's ludicrous Cain, they are much cheaper than Heinz, I was getting them in Asda at 4 tins for a quid the other week.

 

Get the fuck outa here!

 

I'm paying over the odds in the Tesco in Clayton Square or Liverpool One then. Good job I'm moving in September and will have an Asda beside me.

[Fugitive]

I paid €3 for a tin of fucking Branston Beans in Ibiza. Robbing twats over there when it comes to getting English brand food.

 

Spanish Beans are fucking rancid.

[Remmie]

Beans are horendi.

 

Despite my sexy vegetarian powers, I feel qualified to pass comment because:

 

- I'm Remmie mother fucker, this is my domain.

- You can get vegetarian cooked breakfast, which are just as often ruined by winnets covered in satan's minge plasma.

 

In fact they shouldn't call it baked beans as I like every other sort of bean, I suspect it's actually made of compressed despair. I hereby move to call this utter thundercunt of a foodstuff Baked Horendi.

[Remmie]

Apparently, we eat more baked beans in the UK than anywhere else, which just brings a tear to my eye. If proof were needed that we are superior to all else, then baked beans are it. Basically if you don't eat then with your breakfast, you're French.

Le cassé Bretagne.

[Remmie]

No to beans!

Yes to Odris!

[Remmie]

No for me. Cant be doing with the bean juice contaminating all the good stuff. Sometimes I'll compromise in an Alan Partridge style and use the sausages as a breakwater.

Dirty beans, ruining our pretty egg!

[Remmie]

To avoid the beans destroying the meal, just don't buy the horendi mother fuckers in the first place

Amended for her pleasure.

[Jose Jones]

Tinned baked beans are shit and should be nowhere near a proper cooked breakfast.

Proper homemade-style beans can be really good – they still shouldn’t be involved in a classic cooked breakfast, but can be a good alternative breakie – sausages, homemade beans and some toasted crusty ciabatta, something like that.

 

Loving Stumptown's work on this thread again.

[Remmie]

Beans are ace, just open the can slightly and drain a little of the juice off. Best beans you can get are Cross and Blackwell, but HP are also nice. Heinz Beans are fucking dire, watery sweet, seriously over priced shite, oh and never ever microwave beans, they have to be slowly cooked on the hob, beans.

Zeke what happened? You coulda bean a contender, you coulda bean somebody.

 

So many hate crimes against perfectly decent law abiding foodstuffs like egg and toast. The war on beans and the causes of beans has never bean more crucial. Fuck beans.

[Guest ShoePiss]

Beans are horendi.

 

Despite my sexy vegetarian powers, I feel qualified to pass comment because:

 

- I'm Remmie mother fucker, this is my domain.

- You can get vegetarian cooked breakfast, which are just as often ruined by winnets covered in satan's minge plasma.

 

In fact they shouldn't call it baked beans as I like every other sort of bean, I suspect it's actually made of compressed despair. I hereby move to call this utter thundercunt of a foodstuff Baked Horendi.

 

Yeah, porridge oats are ok but meat wins every time.

 

-Vegetarian cooked breakfast, joke!

 

-Get out of this thread.

 

-Stay away from the bbq thread too, I'm sure you've been adding tags to that one.

 

-Beans, if they're on my plate I'll eat them.

[Paulie Dangerously]

I've just bean the victim of a very late neg for my Heinz love

 

haters gonna hate

[Total Longo]

Check this shit out, motherfuckers. Joyous breakfast, fresh coffee AND the word magazine. I rule.

 

Oh yeah, that's melted cheese on the hash browns. Booyah!