What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[Bjornebye]

20 hours ago, TheHowieLama said:

The fucking audacity 

4 hours ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

Missus cooked breakfast this morning, just sitting down to get stuck in.

 

 

She’s trying to tell you something 

 

Sideways 

[YorkshireRed]

4 hours ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

Missus cooked breakfast this morning, just sitting down to get stuck in.

 

 

It’s hard to get past the toast positioning on this one. Off the plate or on the plate! It’s neither one thing nor the other. 
 

You’re neither Yorkshire or Lancashire. It’s basically the Todmerdon of toast placement, and suggests some identity issues that should really be addressed if you are to be allowed to roam free in the future. 

[lifetime fan]

Eastgate Brasserie Tavistock. 
 

All high quality local meat ingredients. The sausages were amazing, the bacon was good quality but the fat needed to be more crispy, black pudding beautiful, eggs - well I didn’t eat them but they were cooked on too high a heat, mushrooms looked like they’d been chopped up by Stevie Wonder and looked like they needed a bit

more cooking, tomatoes were good but I’d like them more well done, beans were fucking volcanic and obviously done in the microwave, toast was a lovely farmhouse bloomer thick cut. 
 

Solid breakfast that with just a few small tweaks could have been excellent. 
 

Biggest fucking issue was the cost! 
 

£10.50 for the West Country breakfast. 
£1.50 extra each for black pudding and hash browns. 
£1.95 for a pot of tea. 
 

£15.45 for a breakfast with tea is obscene even if top quality ingredients. 
 

 

[Barrington Womble]

7 minutes ago, lifetime fan said:

Eastgate Brasserie Tavistock. 
 

All high quality local meat ingredients. The sausages were amazing, the bacon was good quality but the fat needed to be more crispy, black pudding beautiful, eggs - well I didn’t eat them but they were cooked on too high a heat, mushrooms looked like they’d been chopped up by Stevie Wonder and looked like they needed a bit

more cooking, tomatoes were good but I’d like them more well done, beans were fucking volcanic and obviously done in the microwave, toast was a lovely farmhouse bloomer thick cut. 
 

Solid breakfast that with just a few small tweaks could have been excellent. 
 

Biggest fucking issue was the cost! 
 

£10.50 for the West Country breakfast. 
£1.50 extra each for black pudding and hash browns. 
£1.95 for a pot of tea. 
 

£15.45 for a breakfast with tea is obscene even if top quality ingredients. 
 

 

Do they charge extra to cook the bacon? 

[lifetime fan]

1 minute ago, Barrington Womble said:

Do they charge extra to cook the bacon? 

To be fair the bacon was good quality, thick cut and obviously hadn’t been pumped full of water. 
 

The bacon was actually cooked but they didn’t crispen the fat. 

[YorkshireRed]

9 minutes ago, lifetime fan said:

Eastgate Brasserie Tavistock. 
 

All high quality local meat ingredients. The sausages were amazing, the bacon was good quality but the fat needed to be more crispy, black pudding beautiful, eggs - well I didn’t eat them but they were cooked on too high a heat, mushrooms looked like they’d been chopped up by Stevie Wonder and looked like they needed a bit

more cooking, tomatoes were good but I’d like them more well done, beans were fucking volcanic and obviously done in the microwave, toast was a lovely farmhouse bloomer thick cut. 
 

Solid breakfast that with just a few small tweaks could have been excellent. 
 

Biggest fucking issue was the cost! 
 

£10.50 for the West Country breakfast. 
£1.50 extra each for black pudding and hash browns. 
£1.95 for a pot of tea. 
 

£15.45 for a breakfast with tea is obscene even if top quality ingredients. 
 

 

I like how a wrapped bit of butter gets its own bowl. To be fair, you’d expect to pay a premium for this kind of thing. 

[lifetime fan]

Just now, YorkshireRed said:

I like how a wrapped bit of butter gets its own bowl. To be fair, you’d expect to pay a premium for this kind of thing. 

It’s Tavistock.

 

It’s an absolutely loaded, tory cunt fest central town and it has a riverside decking area where you can sit outside. 
 

Licence to print money in other words. 

[Bjornebye]

47 minutes ago, lifetime fan said:

Eastgate Brasserie Tavistock. 
 

All high quality local meat ingredients. The sausages were amazing, the bacon was good quality but the fat needed to be more crispy, black pudding beautiful, eggs - well I didn’t eat them but they were cooked on too high a heat, mushrooms looked like they’d been chopped up by Stevie Wonder and looked like they needed a bit

more cooking, tomatoes were good but I’d like them more well done, beans were fucking volcanic and obviously done in the microwave, toast was a lovely farmhouse bloomer thick cut. 
 

Solid breakfast that with just a few small tweaks could have been excellent. 
 

Biggest fucking issue was the cost! 
 

£10.50 for the West Country breakfast. 
£1.50 extra each for black pudding and hash browns. 
£1.95 for a pot of tea. 
 

£15.45 for a breakfast with tea is obscene even if top quality ingredients. 
 

 

What's 'West Country' about that? The only thing 'west' about it is where I'd throw the fucking thing if they served me that. When the hash browns and tomatoes are the most appetising looking thing on the plate you know you're in the West Country. 

 

Oh.... I get it now. 

[Fugitive]

3 hours ago, lifetime fan said:

Eastgate Brasserie Tavistock. 
 

All high quality local meat ingredients. The sausages were amazing, the bacon was good quality but the fat needed to be more crispy, black pudding beautiful, eggs - well I didn’t eat them but they were cooked on too high a heat, mushrooms looked like they’d been chopped up by Stevie Wonder and looked like they needed a bit

more cooking, tomatoes were good but I’d like them more well done, beans were fucking volcanic and obviously done in the microwave, toast was a lovely farmhouse bloomer thick cut. 
 

Solid breakfast that with just a few small tweaks could have been excellent. 
 

Biggest fucking issue was the cost! 
 

£10.50 for the West Country breakfast. 
£1.50 extra each for black pudding and hash browns. 
£1.95 for a pot of tea. 
 

£15.45 for a breakfast with tea is obscene even if top quality ingredients. 
 

 

Fucking hell, how did they source ET’s fingers? Those mushrooms are raw but not as raw as the bacon. Do they only toast one one half of the bread? This Eggs we’re fried inside Mount Etna.

 

Still better than the twats who sent me that shit in a box though.

 

 

[Bjornebye]

Hahahaha the way they've sliced that toast is like the chef* giving you one final "fuck you" 

 

 

 

 

 

*local sock sniffer 

 

[AngryOfTuebrook]

3 hours ago, lifetime fan said:

Eastgate Brasserie Tavistock. 
 

All high quality local meat ingredients. The sausages were amazing, the bacon was good quality but the fat needed to be more crispy, black pudding beautiful, eggs - well I didn’t eat them but they were cooked on too high a heat, mushrooms looked like they’d been chopped up by Stevie Wonder and looked like they needed a bit

more cooking, tomatoes were good but I’d like them more well done, beans were fucking volcanic and obviously done in the microwave, toast was a lovely farmhouse bloomer thick cut. 
 

Solid breakfast that with just a few small tweaks could have been excellent. 
 

Biggest fucking issue was the cost! 
 

£10.50 for the West Country breakfast. 
£1.50 extra each for black pudding and hash browns. 
£1.95 for a pot of tea. 
 

£15.45 for a breakfast with tea is obscene even if top quality ingredients. 
 

 

Two ramekins on the plate.

 

Two.

 

I... 

 

I just can't...

[lifetime fan]

8 minutes ago, Fugitive said:

Fucking hell, how did they source ET’s fingers? Those mushrooms are raw but not as raw as the bacon. Do they only toast one one half of the bread? This Eggs we’re fried inside Mount Etna.

 

Still better than the twats who sent me that shit in a box though.

 

 

The sausages were outstanding. 

[Fugitive]

6 minutes ago, lifetime fan said:

The sausages were outstanding. 

 

[Jarvinja Ilnow]

3 hours ago, YorkshireRed said:

I like how a wrapped bit of butter gets its own bowl. To be fair, you’d expect to pay a premium for this kind of thing. 

Obviously it's an example of a double bean barrier.

[Anubis]

4 hours ago, lifetime fan said:

 

Awwwww, look at the Lilliputian toast. It’s so small and cute.

[Jarvinja Ilnow]

3 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

What's 'West Country' about that? The only thing 'west' about it is where I'd throw the fucking thing if they served me that. When the hash browns and tomatoes are the most appetising looking thing on the plate you know you're in the West Country. 

 

Oh.... I get it now. 

The tomatoes are cooked to an acceptable standard, agreed, even if not top-notch.

[Bjornebye]

4 minutes ago, Jarvinja Ilnow said:

The tomatoes are cooked to an acceptable standard, agreed, even if not top-notch.

They looks weirdly small though. Like in-between a standard and a vine? To be honest nothing surprises me on this thread anymore. 

[Numero Veinticinco]

Toast! That’s warm bread! - Col 2016

[lifetime fan]

Just now, Hank Moody said:

Toast! That’s warm bread! - Col 2016

Agreed. 

[Numero Veinticinco]

Just now, lifetime fan said:

Agreed. 

Decent brekkie in all. London prices though. 

[lifetime fan]

1 hour ago, Hank Moody said:

Decent brekkie in all. London prices though. 

Cunt prices. 

[skend04]

17 hours ago, lifetime fan said:

Eastgate Brasserie Tavistock. 
 

All high quality local meat ingredients. The sausages were amazing, the bacon was good quality but the fat needed to be more crispy, black pudding beautiful, eggs - well I didn’t eat them but they were cooked on too high a heat, mushrooms looked like they’d been chopped up by Stevie Wonder and looked like they needed a bit

more cooking, tomatoes were good but I’d like them more well done, beans were fucking volcanic and obviously done in the microwave, toast was a lovely farmhouse bloomer thick cut. 
 

Solid breakfast that with just a few small tweaks could have been excellent. 
 

Biggest fucking issue was the cost! 
 

£10.50 for the West Country breakfast. 
£1.50 extra each for black pudding and hash browns. 
£1.95 for a pot of tea. 
 

£15.45 for a breakfast with tea is obscene even if top quality ingredients. 
 

 

Forgetting the fungus on the plate or the cherry tomatoes, why is there a ramekin for the butter when the butter is already in its own fucking packaging?!?!! 

 

Plus I've pissed out stronger teas than what's in that cup. 

 

[Jarvinja Ilnow]

6 hours ago, skend04 said:

Forgetting the fungus on the plate or the cherry tomatoes, why is there a ramekin for the butter when the butter is already in its own fucking packaging?!?!! 

 

Plus I've pissed out stronger teas than what's in that cup. 

 

If you look closely at the photo, Lifey's mushrooms are already being threatened by a ramekin jailbreak by the beans. Being greedy little bastards, they would next attack his warm bread next (avoiding severe dehydration by contact with the black puds) , and then focus on the soppy butter. The butter is effectively on the vulnerable inmates/ sex-offender wing.

[Dave D]

23 hours ago, lifetime fan said:

Eastgate Brasserie Tavistock. 
 

All high quality local meat ingredients. The sausages were amazing, the bacon was good quality but the fat needed to be more crispy, black pudding beautiful, eggs - well I didn’t eat them but they were cooked on too high a heat, mushrooms looked like they’d been chopped up by Stevie Wonder and looked like they needed a bit

more cooking, tomatoes were good but I’d like them more well done, beans were fucking volcanic and obviously done in the microwave, toast was a lovely farmhouse bloomer thick cut. 
 

Solid breakfast that with just a few small tweaks could have been excellent. 
 

Biggest fucking issue was the cost! 
 

£10.50 for the West Country breakfast. 
£1.50 extra each for black pudding and hash browns. 
£1.95 for a pot of tea. 
 

£15.45 for a breakfast with tea is obscene even if top quality ingredients. 
 

 

Why didnt you eat the eggs? Watching your figure? 

[Bjornebye]

2 hours ago, Dave D said:

Why didnt you eat the eggs? Watching your figure? 

Everyone watches his figure