What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[Pureblood]

It resembles a lower to mid table football team from the mid 90s with one star player up front (the sausages).  Matt le Tissier is the sausages, feeding off long balls from Francis Beanali and knockdowns from Neil "Where's My Yolk?" Shipperley.  

[Captain Willard]

33 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

Another breakfast using shrubbery to stick two fingers up at what was once a meal for the working man.

 

That plate doesn’t know if it’s Arthur or Martha. Whatever, it’s definitely a cunt. 
 

The ingredients for a normal person do look nice. I’m a fan of fried potatoes, better them than gash browns. Those beans need tipping over the potatoes and egg. If Swayze was still alive, there’s no way he’d be putting the beans in a corner. 
 

Who’s the bloke on the teapot? Looks like a Tory, possibly a descendant of Kurtz, almost certainly dislikes beans. 
 

6/10.

I think you mean ancestor not descendant. Anyway he’s got more hair than me. 

[Guest]

[Pureblood]

5 minutes ago, Shooter in the Motor said:

 

[Bjornebye]

[Guest]

Hahahaha

[Guest]

19 minutes ago, Pureblood said:

 

Hahahaha

[Guest]

15 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Who is that cos it ain't me? 

[Bjornebye]

1 minute ago, Shooter in the Motor said:

Who is that cos it ain't me? 

Karen Matthews 

[YorkshireRed]

1 hour ago, Shooter in the Motor said:

Let’s be honest, it’s not great. Get rid of the fruit and I’d eat that. Needs toast.

 

The sausage is partially hidden though so it’s probably a disappointment. Most sausages are hidden for that reason, I should know.

 

7/10

[Boss]

5 hours ago, Simbo said:

 

[Bob]

2 hours ago, Shooter in the Motor said:

Too many beans, badly angled photo.

[tokyojoe]

Fucking hate beans me.

[Bjornebye]

5 minutes ago, tokyojoe said:

Fucking hate beans me.

 

 

[Mudface]

8 hours ago, Simbo said:

 

£11 at TruLeigh Scrumptious in Leigh-on-Sea, Essex.

 

Usually comes with grilled tomatoes and mushrooms but seeing as they are food of the devil I declined.

 

Do your worst, bitches.

That's fucking ruined my weekend before it's even started.

 

[Bernard Diomede]

See this is what happens when you leave the house these days. Absolute shite. 

[Mudface]

8 minutes ago, Bernard Diomede said:

See this is what happens when you leave the house these days. Absolute shite. 

Christ, I take it that came out of a Russian field kitchen. Yet another war crime.

[YorkshireRed]

It looks a photo of a breakfast you’d see on a menu. Everything is a perfect shape, colour etc. No doubt nonces will come from miles around for a go on something like this. 

 

The imperfection of the sliced toast almost saves it, until you realise it’s been positioned to represent some form of satanic symbol. 
 

I’m pretty sure you are neither a devil worshipper nor attracted sexually to children so I recommend frisbeeing this at the chef and then booting him/her up their bum. 

[Pureblood]

55 minutes ago, Bernard Diomede said:

See this is what happens when you leave the house these days. Absolute shite. 

That looks alright to me.  Get rid of the tomatoes and I'm in.  Crucially, it has no beans and is therefore given a sought after Pureblood purity award. 

[Bjornebye]

1 hour ago, Bernard Diomede said:

See this is what happens when you leave the house these days. Absolute shite. 

What did it look like after you cooked it mate? 

[Trumo]

1 hour ago, Bernard Diomede said:

See this is what happens when you leave the house these days. Absolute shite. 

 

Nuns have seen more heat than that travesty.

[Bernard Diomede]

36 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

What did it look like after you cooked it mate? 

Not a chance I would put my name to that monstrosity 

[Bjornebye]

1 minute ago, Bernard Diomede said:

Not a chance I would put my name to that monstrosity 

Phew. 

[Jairzinho]

23 hours ago, Simbo said:

 

£11 at TruLeigh Scrumptious in Leigh-on-Sea, Essex.

 

Usually comes with grilled tomatoes and mushrooms but seeing as they are food of the devil I declined.

 

Do your worst, bitches.

Fucking furious here.

[TheHowieLama]

3 hours ago, Bernard Diomede said:

See this is what happens when you leave the house these days. Absolute shite. 

There is just one of everything except cherry tomatoes?

That's weird.