What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[Strontium 10,983]

45 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

Went further afield today to a cafe that advertises itself on a board by the road for selling cooked breakfasts. Full of tradesmen which is normally a great sign but very disappointing, far too many beans, overcooked bacon, cheap mass market sausage and limp thin toast. Teach me to be unfaithful to my middle aged ladies and their chintzy cafe.  2/10. 

 

Damn, that looks like an entire tin of beans!

 

I know because I routinely eat an entire tin of beans.

[Captain Willard 712]

29 minutes ago, Total Longo said:

Get that beautiful beagle of yours walked!

Here they are looking as miserable as ever

[Total Longo 3,618]

Just now, Captain Willard said:

Here they are looking as miserable as ever

They're only happy with food or your passport in their mouths.

[Captain Willard 712]

48 minutes ago, Total Longo said:

They're only happy with food or your passport in their mouths.

Ha ha. Yes true. 

[Captain Willard 712]

1 hour ago, Fighting Antisemitism Everywhere said:

 

Damn, that looks like an entire tin of beans!

 

I know because I routinely eat an entire tin of beans.

Yes it’s a lot of beans and I’m an anti 

[Bjornebye 33,209]

43 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

Yes it’s a lot of beans and I’m an anti 

 

[cloggypop 11,735]

Full of tradesmen, poncey triangular toast. Fuck the south.

[DalyanPete 1,156]

2 hours ago, Captain Willard said:

Went further afield today to a cafe that advertises itself on a board by the road for selling cooked breakfasts. Full of tradesmen which is normally a great sign but very disappointing, far too many beans, overcooked bacon, cheap mass market sausage and limp thin toast. Teach me to be unfaithful to my middle aged ladies and their chintzy cafe.  2/10. 

Fuck me.

Well in for fessing up.

[Mike D 1,619]

[Bjornebye 33,209]

 

 

 

[Tony Moanero 17,106]

13 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

 

 

 

The best foods aren’t shaped like dicks, are they? Sausages are boss, but what else is there?

[Bjornebye 33,209]

3 minutes ago, Tony Moanero said:

The best foods aren’t shaped like dicks, are they? Sausages are boss, but what else is there?

Bananas, Calippos, Cucumbers

[Captain Willard 712]

9 minutes ago, Tony Moanero said:

The best foods aren’t shaped like dicks, are they? Sausages are boss, but what else is there?

 

[cloggypop 11,735]

I'd be a bit worried if my cock looked like a Curly Wurly

[Strontium 10,983]

20 minutes ago, cloggypop said:

I'd be a bit worried if my cock looked like a Curly Wurly

 

How about if your Curly Wurly looked like a cock?

[cloggypop 11,735]

4 minutes ago, Fighting Antisemitism Everywhere said:

 

How about if your Curly Wurly looked like a cock?

Still a bit worried but not as much. I wouldn't find myself down at A&E desperately trying to show it to a doctor.

[Jarvinja Ilnow 1,658]

9 hours ago, Captain Willard said:

Everything about it was dreadful and cheap apart from the tea. They could have used it as a set for the cafe in 1984. The tea was nice. The waitress had terrible skin and seemed depressed. Wish I hadn’t gone now, a wasted lunch. 

How far afield was this place? Woking - lots of wrongness there (don't anybody use the Jam to defend it - it's been years since they've lived there). I didn't want to quote the original piece you posted, as it would mean showing that photo again.

 

So we sailed on to the sun
'Til we found a sea of beans
And we lived beneath the waves
In our yellow submarine

[Bob Spunkmouse 3,115]

On 01/01/2022 at 15:34, Jarvinja Ilnow said:

New Year hangover remedy - fried bread under the abundant mushrooms (cooked 5 minutes to stop them getting mushy). Shame I left the bacon in too long, but otherwise quite nice. Black pudding was crispy on the outside and soft inside. If I hadn't farted around with that then the bacon might not have suffered.

 

Apologies in advance to Tony - as a fellow tomato afficionado - we only had those little salad tomatoes left, so they kind of disintegrated (but they at least had a relationship with a hot pan).

 

Anyway, let the blood-letting commence:

 

You forgot the beans mate.

[Bob Spunkmouse 3,115]

10 hours ago, Captain Willard said:

Went further afield today to a cafe that advertises itself on a board by the road for selling cooked breakfasts. Full of tradesmen which is normally a great sign but very disappointing, far too many beans, overcooked bacon, cheap mass market sausage and limp thin toast. Teach me to be unfaithful to my middle aged ladies and their chintzy cafe.  2/10. 

You forgot not to use all the beans mate.

[Captain Willard 712]

Went into town today and had an old fashioned business lunch paid for by somebody else. Venison with fancy spuds but only bottled water not tea. Life is full of contrasts. 

[Mike D 1,619]

[Captain Willard 712]

7 minutes ago, Mike D said:

Ha ha. Good spot 

[Bjornebye 33,209]

3 hours ago, Captain Willard said:

Went into town today and had an old fashioned business lunch paid for by somebody else. Venison with fancy spuds but only bottled water not tea. Life is full of contrasts. 

Looks really nice that mate but it's for the foodie thread not this one. 

[TheHowieLama 12,930]

It is not for the Breakfast thread - cuz it's not breakfast.

 

It's not for Foodie thread - that is for stuff made at home (with varying degrees of success).

 

This belongs in the Little Things that annoy the Shit out of You thread. 

A grown ass man taking pictures of a meal other than breakfast - it's embarrassing.

[Tony Moanero 17,106]

5 minutes ago, TheHowieLama said:

It is not for the Breakfast thread - cuz it's not breakfast.

 

It's not for Foodie thread - that is for stuff made at home (with varying degrees of success).

 

This belongs in the Little Things that annoy the Shit out of You thread. 

A grown ass man taking pictures of a meal other than breakfast - it's embarrassing.

Bollocks! The Foodie thread is for anything food related.