Jump to content
ISeeRed

What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

Beans with a full English?  

223 members have voted

  1. 1. Beans with a full English?

    • Aye, bean me up, Scotty.
      124
    • Nay, poke your beans up your bum, one at a time.
      72


Recommended Posts

I had a twat of a meal out in New restaurant last night.

Steak medley was 2 slivers of fillet and 2 big chunks of inedible fat.

Had to have this for breakfast.

Asda sausage and Dales smokey bacon smuggled into Turkey last Sunday.

Fried bread, potato cake, egg, toast, tomato with horrible skin removed and fuckin beans.

 

20220116_104040.jpg

  • Upvote 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 13/01/2022 at 12:38, Captain Willard said:

 Stuck working at home whilst Mrs Willard is out all day so taken to going out  for lunch just to break up the monotony. Today’s treat was another all day breakfast at the local cafe. Inspired no doubt by Chernobyl, they put the beans in a separate metal container to reduce contamination. Good solid pale blue teapot and £7.95. 

61E25F04-BBD9-4FBB-9269-CA263D110E9F.jpeg

 

A grim artist's representation of society, that. 

 

Let's begin with the plate - a foundation piece that dictates how the story usually plays out. In this instance, the artist has chosen to use a plate from the 1900's in which forces everythnig to be close together and places more emphasis on the decorative art, than it does the food. A poor start in many eyes. 

 

Next on the judgment table is the beans. I'm lover of beans but keeping them contained in a mug is both confusing and idiotic as it prevents the juices from mixing and adding flavour. If one wishes them to be contained, they should be placed in a jug of some sort. A mini jug if you're all about scale and social significance. 

 

There appears to be two sausages. One hidden under the egg. I have no problems with the amount, I'm just confused at why the egg is mounting one of them like some graphic porno. Perhaps the artist wanted to establish a sense of inequality here, or sexism. 

 

The bread is a fucking disgrace and represents how Tories have fucked up the country with irreversible damage. The artist chose well here. Not only is the butter half melted but the whole shape is wrong and offensive. 

 

The empty plate on the table represents poverty. A sad and honest account of where we are as a nation and society. Morally bankrupt, financially fucked and the bread Tories out in numbers fucking up the only good thing on the table, the eggs. 

 

Eggs are alright, broken and damaged. Like everyone's mental health and future. An insight into what the future holds for our children and future generations. 

 

An insightful piece, one that I'll score 6/10 for the effort but deducting 4 points for the grim and cold feeling it's left me with. 

  • Upvote 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 minutes ago, DalyanPete said:

I had a twat of a meal out in New restaurant last night.

Steak medley was 2 slivers of fillet and 2 big chunks of inedible fat.

Had to have this for breakfast.

Asda sausage and Dales smokey bacon smuggled into Turkey last Sunday.

Fried bread, potato cake, egg, toast, tomato with horrible skin removed and fuckin beans.

 

20220116_104040.jpg

 

Deserves an outright ban this. 

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, DalyanPete said:

I had a twat of a meal out in New restaurant last night.

Steak medley was 2 slivers of fillet and 2 big chunks of inedible fat.

Had to have this for breakfast.

Asda sausage and Dales smokey bacon smuggled into Turkey last Sunday.

Fried bread, potato cake, egg, toast, tomato with horrible skin removed and fuckin beans.

 

20220116_104040.jpg

I wouldn't eat that after 10 pints of Efes 

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, DalyanPete said:

I had a twat of a meal out in New restaurant last night.

Steak medley was 2 slivers of fillet and 2 big chunks of inedible fat.

Had to have this for breakfast.

Asda sausage and Dales smokey bacon smuggled into Turkey last Sunday.

Fried bread, potato cake, egg, toast, tomato with horrible skin removed and fuckin beans.

 

20220116_104040.jpg

The guy in Midnight Express had better breakfasts than this. 

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

People can criticise DalyanPete, but he had to smuggle the ingredients into the country. It's a commitment to cooked breakfastry that has rarely been seen in this thread.

  • Upvote 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
22 minutes ago, Strontium Dog™ said:

People can criticise DalyanPete, but he had to smuggle the ingredients into the country. It's a commitment to cooked breakfastry that has rarely been seen in this thread.

Fair fucks. Top smuggling @DalyanPete. Unless you’re reading this in 25 years, having just been released from the jailhouse. In that case, that breakfast probably wasn’t worth it. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, ._. said:

 

A grim artist's representation of society, that. 

 

Let's begin with the plate - a foundation piece that dictates how the story usually plays out. In this instance, the artist has chosen to use a plate from the 1900's in which forces everythnig to be close together and places more emphasis on the decorative art, than it does the food. A poor start in many eyes. 

 

Next on the judgment table is the beans. I'm lover of beans but keeping them contained in a mug is both confusing and idiotic as it prevents the juices from mixing and adding flavour. If one wishes them to be contained, they should be placed in a jug of some sort. A mini jug if you're all about scale and social significance. 

 

There appears to be two sausages. One hidden under the egg. I have no problems with the amount, I'm just confused at why the egg is mounting one of them like some graphic porno. Perhaps the artist wanted to establish a sense of inequality here, or sexism. 

 

The bread is a fucking disgrace and represents how Tories have fucked up the country with irreversible damage. The artist chose well here. Not only is the butter half melted but the whole shape is wrong and offensive. 

 

The empty plate on the table represents poverty. A sad and honest account of where we are as a nation and society. Morally bankrupt, financially fucked and the bread Tories out in numbers fucking up the only good thing on the table, the eggs. 

 

Eggs are alright, broken and damaged. Like everyone's mental health and future. An insight into what the future holds for our children and future generations. 

 

An insightful piece, one that I'll score 6/10 for the effort but deducting 4 points for the grim and cold feeling it's left me with. 

Ha ha. Well done. You should pad this out to about 500 words and  send this and my breakfast photo to the Guardian or New Statesmen, they pay about £1 a word and are always receptive to new talent. If they publish Stewart Lee’s prose, they’d take this sort of stuff in a heartbeat. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 hours ago, DalyanPete said:

I had a twat of a meal out in New restaurant last night.

Steak medley was 2 slivers of fillet and 2 big chunks of inedible fat.

Had to have this for breakfast.

Asda sausage and Dales smokey bacon smuggled into Turkey last Sunday.

Fried bread, potato cake, egg, toast, tomato with horrible skin removed and fuckin beans.

 

20220116_104040.jpg

 

What a complete beer goggle of a breakfast.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm surprised they don't have tomatoes in Turkey because them on that plate defo looked like they've been pulled from your arse 

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 minutes ago, TheHowieLama said:

The fuckin toast - heheheeeeheh - like it was cobbled together from other folks leftover toast then passed through Lifey's burn bucket.

Quality.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Here I believe may be the worst post on here ever. This is the Royal Liverpool Hospital "All day breakfast". I'm not sure which words could make it seem better or worse. There is some kind of bacon hidden under the egg, which was like it had been boiled. The sausage looks like a chippy one, but unfortunately it's not that tasty as I think they've removed all the salt, which is the only flavour in those sausages. 

 

 

IMG_20220116_171402.jpg

 

 

  • Upvote 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
8 minutes ago, Barrington Womble said:

Here I believe may be the worst post on here ever. This is the Royal Liverpool Hospital "All day breakfast". I'm not sure which words could make it seem better or worse. There is some kind of bacon hidden under the egg, which was like it had been boiled. The sausage looks like a chippy one, but unfortunately it's not that tasty as I think they've removed all the salt, which is the only flavour in those sausages. 

 

 

IMG_20220116_171402.jpg

 

 

You poor bastard. That green stuff is defo mould. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 14/01/2022 at 01:38, Captain Willard said:

 Stuck working at home whilst Mrs Willard is out all day so taken to going out  for lunch just to break up the monotony. Today’s treat was another all day breakfast at the local cafe. Inspired no doubt by Chernobyl, they put the beans in a separate metal container to reduce contamination. Good solid pale blue teapot and £7.95. 

61E25F04-BBD9-4FBB-9269-CA263D110E9F.jpeg

 

BkGRYlhxcDZk.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
26 minutes ago, Barrington Womble said:

Here I believe may be the worst post on here ever. This is the Royal Liverpool Hospital "All day breakfast". I'm not sure which words could make it seem better or worse. There is some kind of bacon hidden under the egg, which was like it had been boiled. The sausage looks like a chippy one, but unfortunately it's not that tasty as I think they've removed all the salt, which is the only flavour in those sausages. 

 

 

IMG_20220116_171402.jpg

 

 

At least you were already at the hospital. I hope you make it through the night but I fear the worse. 

 

RIP YNWA U Wiv da angles now. Tru shoulder

  • Upvote 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
36 minutes ago, Barrington Womble said:

Here I believe may be the worst post on here ever. This is the Royal Liverpool Hospital "All day breakfast". I'm not sure which words could make it seem better or worse. There is some kind of bacon hidden under the egg, which was like it had been boiled. The sausage looks like a chippy one, but unfortunately it's not that tasty as I think they've removed all the salt, which is the only flavour in those sausages. 

 

 

IMG_20220116_171402.jpg

 

 

Id imagine thats what AIDS looks like under a microscope!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Barrington Womble said:

Here I believe may be the worst post on here ever. This is the Royal Liverpool Hospital "All day breakfast". I'm not sure which words could make it seem better or worse. There is some kind of bacon hidden under the egg, which was like it had been boiled. The sausage looks like a chippy one, but unfortunately it's not that tasty as I think they've removed all the salt, which is the only flavour in those sausages. 

 

 

IMG_20220116_171402.jpg

 

 

I thought hospitals were designed to fix you, not break you.

 

When Panorama do an Expose on this shit show we’ll know it’s you being interviewed, fuzzed out face or not. You’ll be the one who exudes the kind of shame that can’t be disguised. 

  • Upvote 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, Barrington Womble said:

Here I believe may be the worst post on here ever. This is the Royal Liverpool Hospital "All day breakfast". I'm not sure which words could make it seem better or worse. There is some kind of bacon hidden under the egg, which was like it had been boiled. The sausage looks like a chippy one, but unfortunately it's not that tasty as I think they've removed all the salt, which is the only flavour in those sausages. 

 

 

IMG_20220116_171402.jpg

 

 

Talk about kicking a man whilst he's down.

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, Barrington Womble said:

Here I believe may be the worst post on here ever. This is the Royal Liverpool Hospital "All day breakfast". I'm not sure which words could make it seem better or worse. There is some kind of bacon hidden under the egg, which was like it had been boiled. The sausage looks like a chippy one, but unfortunately it's not that tasty as I think they've removed all the salt, which is the only flavour in those sausages. 

 

 

IMG_20220116_171402.jpg

 

 

I’d write DNR on my own notes if they served me that. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×