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What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

Beans with a full English?  

217 members have voted

  1. 1. Beans with a full English?

    • Aye, bean me up, Scotty.
      124
    • Nay, poke your beans up your bum, one at a time.
      71


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7 minutes ago, belarus said:

Agree with all that apart from the timeframe. Hash browns are fucking shite. Like pesto - I thought that was great when I first had it, but that’s shite as well

 

That doesn't belong on a cooked breakfast either.

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16 hours ago, Barrington Womble said:

I had this this morning. Al's cafe on bermondsey street near London bridge. £9 for everything you see there. Badly cooked - I think Al has deep fat fried the sausages, which was a shame because they were actually decent quality. The egg was cooked like a 3 year old does them, no idea why there was only one. The black pudding was under cooked. The tea was fucking awful, about 50% milk. The toast could have done with more cooking. I posted one from a 5 min walk from this place on tower bridge road a few weeks back, that was miles better. I had an absolutely massive hangover, so any fry up would probably have made me feel better, yet I still can't give it more than 4/10 and it probably only ranks that high because 9 quid isn't that expensive for that area. 

 

 IMG_20211008_093009.jpg

 

 

This looks worse than mine. Fair play to you for taking it on, Baz. 

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17 minutes ago, TheBitch said:

2 portions of beans. Obviously. 

To think you used to be a hero to people on here. And now you’re nothing but a dirty little bean pervert. What a fall from grace…

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59 minutes ago, Anubis said:

To think you used to be a hero to people on here. And now you’re nothing but a dirty little bean pervert. What a fall from grace…

I’ve probably gone up in some deviants estimations. 

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Just finished this in the Oaks Park cafe. This is in the grounds of the now demolished mansion built by the chap who started both the Oaks and Derby horse races. 

£6.99 including tea.  I didn’t realise that the sea of beans were included so now I feel dirty and sordid.

 

It’s granary toast with butter because I’m middle class. 

 

Lovely spot all the same though the ambience is slightly ruined by the fact that some poor chap broke into the park at night and hung himself from a tree within sight of the cafe. The grieving family have erected a shrine with a photo which stares across as you eat. Puts my complaints about beans into some sort of context.  

6A1CA514-52F4-4E93-B8B1-6021878EFDA0.jpeg

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7 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

Just finished this in the Oaks Park cafe. This is in the grounds of the now demolished mansion built by the chap who started both the Oaks and Derby horse races. 

£6.99 including tea.  I didn’t realise that the sea of beans were included so now I feel dirty and sordid.

 

It’s granary toast with butter because I’m middle class. 

 

Lovely spot all the same though the ambience is slightly ruined by the fact that some poor chap broke into the park at night and hung himself from a tree within sight of the cafe. The grieving family have erected a shrine with a photo which stares across as you eat. Puts my complaints about beans into some sort of context.  

6A1CA514-52F4-4E93-B8B1-6021878EFDA0.jpeg

Apart from the beans that looks pretty good

Could have done with an extra egg, some mushies and a black pudding... shame about the bean pollution

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1 egg is becoming increasingly common, as is lashings of beans and 2 hash browns. 

 

Fucking Brexit. 

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34 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

Just finished this in the Oaks Park cafe. This is in the grounds of the now demolished mansion built by the chap who started both the Oaks and Derby horse races. 

£6.99 including tea.  I didn’t realise that the sea of beans were included so now I feel dirty and sordid.

 

It’s granary toast with butter because I’m middle class. 

 

Lovely spot all the same though the ambience is slightly ruined by the fact that some poor chap broke into the park at night and hung himself from a tree within sight of the cafe. The grieving family have erected a shrine with a photo which stares across as you eat. Puts my complaints about beans into some sort of context.  

6A1CA514-52F4-4E93-B8B1-6021878EFDA0.jpeg

I'm going to lay a wreath for poor old Capt Willard, who sadly drowned in a baked bean flood in 2021.

 

* Tomatoes looked properly cooked, though.

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1 hour ago, Captain Willard said:

Just finished this in the Oaks Park cafe. This is in the grounds of the now demolished mansion built by the chap who started both the Oaks and Derby horse races. 

£6.99 including tea.  I didn’t realise that the sea of beans were included so now I feel dirty and sordid.

 

It’s granary toast with butter because I’m middle class. 

 

Lovely spot all the same though the ambience is slightly ruined by the fact that some poor chap broke into the park at night and hung himself from a tree within sight of the cafe. The grieving family have erected a shrine with a photo which stares across as you eat. Puts my complaints about beans into some sort of context.  

6A1CA514-52F4-4E93-B8B1-6021878EFDA0.jpeg

Yes - all for that. Looks great mate. Mushrooms and black pudding added and that’s up there with the best on here.

 

The toast is a bit overdone though and another egg wouldn’t go amiss. Stingy cunts

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19 minutes ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

 

Brown toast. He had me until that point. 
 

Edit - nice and runny? Behave you.

 

Edit2 - why does he keep shaking his head when he’s saying “mmmmm”?

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2 hours ago, Captain Willard said:

Just finished this in the Oaks Park cafe. This is in the grounds of the now demolished mansion built by the chap who started both the Oaks and Derby horse races. 

£6.99 including tea.  I didn’t realise that the sea of beans were included so now I feel dirty and sordid.

 

It’s granary toast with butter because I’m middle class. 

 

Lovely spot all the same though the ambience is slightly ruined by the fact that some poor chap broke into the park at night and hung himself from a tree within sight of the cafe. The grieving family have erected a shrine with a photo which stares across as you eat. Puts my complaints about beans into some sort of context.  

6A1CA514-52F4-4E93-B8B1-6021878EFDA0.jpeg

When the guy saw they were serving on a square fucking plate, he went over and hanged himself. Seems appropriate response. 

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6 minutes ago, DJLJ said:

When the guy saw they were serving on a square fucking plate, he went over and hanged himself. Seems appropriate response. 

Nobody likes square plates but still a bit of overreaction like

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32 minutes ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

 

I always find it weird how similar the accents are in Cumbria to those in North Yorkshire. Weird

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1 minute ago, belarus said:

I always find it weird how similar the accents are in Cumbria to those in North Yorkshire. Weird

They're not even remotely similar. 

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2 minutes ago, Stouffer said:

They're not even remotely similar. 

I find them pretty similar. Whitby and that fella from Barrow there for example are pretty much exact

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7 minutes ago, mattyq said:

Nobody likes square plates but still a bit of overreaction like

Yeah, a bullet through the roof of mouth would have sufficed. Quick and painless yet still the right outcome for all concerned. 

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1 hour ago, DJLJ said:

When the guy saw they were serving on a square fucking plate, he went over and hanged himself. Seems appropriate response. 

I think one of the owners of the mansion won a George Cross for bravery in the 1st world war then came back and shot himself in the grounds so that’s two suicides adjacent to one small cafe. Probably not plate shape related but I can’t be definitive.  
 

Today I had Breakfast B.

 

They do a Breakfast C. This is enormous.

 

I saw a very fat young woman eating Breakfast C today and was tempted to take a picture but didn’t want to expose her to the merciless opprobrium of the GF. 

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