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What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

Beans with a full English?  

217 members have voted

  1. 1. Beans with a full English?

    • Aye, bean me up, Scotty.
      124
    • Nay, poke your beans up your bum, one at a time.
      71


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Harbour Lights cafe in Lossiemouth, Full Scottish breakfast £12 including tea & toast. 
All the meat products were very good apart from the Lorne sausage, the Stornaway black pudding and haggis was lovely , wanted some mushrooms but they wanted an extra £1.50 and wouldn’t do a swap for the Lorne sausage. My other half of tomato must have fallen off the plate somewhere between the kitchen and the table. 
Decent breakfast solid 8/10

 

ECA7193D-1E47-4232-9853-AE049E95A9DD.jpeg

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Bacon not cooked, sausages not cooked. Tomato sucked dry by a vampire. Fry bread not done, two dimseniol cardboard cut out eggs. Obligatory hockey puck. No conkers, no keys. What are those kicks there? New Balance??

 

The benedict looks better.

 

5/10 -- off to get my Stu Monty so I can come back and rep.

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24 minutes ago, Atticus Finch said:

Harbour Lights cafe in Lossiemouth, Full Scottish breakfast £12 including tea & toast. 
All the meat products were very good apart from the Lorne sausage, the Stornaway black pudding and haggis was lovely , wanted some mushrooms but they wanted an extra £1.50 and wouldn’t do a swap for the Lorne sausage. My other half of tomato must have fallen off the plate somewhere between the kitchen and the table. 
Decent breakfast solid 8/10

 

ECA7193D-1E47-4232-9853-AE049E95A9DD.jpeg

Get some beans on that plate man.

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1 hour ago, TheHowieLama said:

Bacon not cooked, sausages not cooked. Tomato sucked dry by a vampire. Fry bread not done, two dimseniol cardboard cut out eggs. Obligatory hockey puck. No conkers, no keys. What are those kicks there? New Balance??

 

The benedict looks better.

 

5/10 -- off to get my Stu Monty so I can come back and rep.

Look at the positives. No fucking beans!

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4 hours ago, Atticus Finch said:

Harbour Lights cafe in Lossiemouth, Full Scottish breakfast £12 including tea & toast. 
All the meat products were very good apart from the Lorne sausage, the Stornaway black pudding and haggis was lovely , wanted some mushrooms but they wanted an extra £1.50 and wouldn’t do a swap for the Lorne sausage. My other half of tomato must have fallen off the plate somewhere between the kitchen and the table. 
Decent breakfast solid 8/10

 

ECA7193D-1E47-4232-9853-AE049E95A9DD.jpeg

I'm now thinking the Fray Bentos effort wasn't so bad after all. 

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On 11/09/2021 at 11:15, YorkshireRed said:

Not mine, pulled off FB but I have been here many times before. I’m rarely in any kind of state to be eating this though.

 

A full English from the Yorkshire Pride in Benidorm. 

 

 

B6E70F0F-5D93-4FF0-9475-62CD2B29FAD9.jpeg

That's the woolest looking breakfast i've ever seen. 

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9 hours ago, Atticus Finch said:

Harbour Lights cafe in Lossiemouth, Full Scottish breakfast £12 including tea & toast. 
All the meat products were very good apart from the Lorne sausage, the Stornaway black pudding and haggis was lovely , wanted some mushrooms but they wanted an extra £1.50 and wouldn’t do a swap for the Lorne sausage. My other half of tomato must have fallen off the plate somewhere between the kitchen and the table. 
Decent breakfast solid 8/10

 

ECA7193D-1E47-4232-9853-AE049E95A9DD.jpeg

 

That looks dry as fuck. For a few quid more, they could have thrown in a wee dram o'whisky.

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On 11/09/2021 at 17:15, YorkshireRed said:

Not mine, pulled off FB but I have been here many times before. I’m rarely in any kind of state to be eating this though.

 

A full English from the Yorkshire Pride in Benidorm. 

 

 

B6E70F0F-5D93-4FF0-9475-62CD2B29FAD9.jpeg

Piss off the beans and the chips and add a black pudding (the Spanish make nice black puddings) and add more bacon.

Enough for 2 there.

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Well, the bean wars have taken an unusual turn...

 

'Name: Beaning.

 

Age: About a month old.

 

Appearance: Just, like, loads and loads of baked beans.

 

Well, this sounds delicious. It is anything but. Beaning is an act of cruel intimidation and the perpetrators are merchants of pure evil.

 

Really? What does beaning involve? OK, brace yourself. Beaning is the act of buying an unnaturally large quantity of beans and then throwing them at someone’s house.

 

Oh, I get it. Like egging. No, not like egging at all. Egging is when you throw eggs at someone’s house. Beaning is throwing beans at someone’s house. It’s much worse.

 

Right. Because the tins can break windows. No, no one throws the tins. That would be called tinning, wouldn’t it? Beaning involves emptying the tin and throwing the loose beans.

 

I imagine being a victim of beaning would be very inconvenient. It’s worse than inconvenient. Beaning is so prevalent that the police have had to intervene. In fact, they have issued alerts about beaning, urging people to look out for the warning signs.

 

Which are? According to Michelle Owens, a community support officer in Morley, Leeds, shopkeepers should “be aware of youths buying large quantities of cans of beans. If you have children living at home, please be mindful if you see them removing cans of beans from the family home.”

 

Yeah, that makes sense. Yes. It is our duty as citizens to carefully log any sightings of teenagers carrying multipacks around, in case they have been radicalised by big beaner.

 

Who is telling all these kids to take up beaning? Users on TikTok, obviously. The social media platform is awash with videos of errant beaners, identifying themselves with the hashtag #beanbandits.

 

Chilling. It is spreading fast, too. PSCO Owen’s warning might be new, but police in Surrey launched an appeal more than a month ago after the village of Wonersh was vandalised by loose beans and discarded tins.

 

Flipping TikTok. I know. First it had everyone singing sea shanties, now this. This isn’t quite as reprehensible as the sea shanties, though. Remember that? Brr.

 

What can we do to prevent the rise of beaners? Very little. Other than obeying police advice and remaining vigilant towards teenagers armed with beans, we are helpless. A beaning can happen anywhere, at any time.

 

This is all very scary. Don’t be scared; it is just a TikTok trend. Give it a week and beaning will be old hat – everyone will start eating soap or wearing jelly on their head or whatever. God, I hate TikTok.

 

Do say: “Beaning is a thoughtless act of vandalism.”

 

Don’t say: “If I catch any beaners, they’re toast.”'

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Someone needs to enlighten the author of that powerful, stunning piece of literature that Cafes accross the country have been attacking breakfasts with beans, with flagrant disregard of the bean juice touching the beautiful innocent egg.

 

Baked beans never should have been invented in Heinz-sight.

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Don't see the issue with beans as long as long they are in a separate pot. You can leave a bit of toast and have beans on toast once you've finished everything else.  

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43 minutes ago, Bruce Spanner said:

Well, the bean wars have taken an unusual turn...

 

'Name: Beaning.

 

Age: About a month old.

 

Appearance: Just, like, loads and loads of baked beans.

 

Well, this sounds delicious. It is anything but. Beaning is an act of cruel intimidation and the perpetrators are merchants of pure evil.

 

Really? What does beaning involve? OK, brace yourself. Beaning is the act of buying an unnaturally large quantity of beans and then throwing them at someone’s house.

 

Oh, I get it. Like egging. No, not like egging at all. Egging is when you throw eggs at someone’s house. Beaning is throwing beans at someone’s house. It’s much worse.

 

Right. Because the tins can break windows. No, no one throws the tins. That would be called tinning, wouldn’t it? Beaning involves emptying the tin and throwing the loose beans.

 

I imagine being a victim of beaning would be very inconvenient. It’s worse than inconvenient. Beaning is so prevalent that the police have had to intervene. In fact, they have issued alerts about beaning, urging people to look out for the warning signs.

 

Which are? According to Michelle Owens, a community support officer in Morley, Leeds, shopkeepers should “be aware of youths buying large quantities of cans of beans. If you have children living at home, please be mindful if you see them removing cans of beans from the family home.”

 

Yeah, that makes sense. Yes. It is our duty as citizens to carefully log any sightings of teenagers carrying multipacks around, in case they have been radicalised by big beaner.

 

Who is telling all these kids to take up beaning? Users on TikTok, obviously. The social media platform is awash with videos of errant beaners, identifying themselves with the hashtag #beanbandits.

 

Chilling. It is spreading fast, too. PSCO Owen’s warning might be new, but police in Surrey launched an appeal more than a month ago after the village of Wonersh was vandalised by loose beans and discarded tins.

 

Flipping TikTok. I know. First it had everyone singing sea shanties, now this. This isn’t quite as reprehensible as the sea shanties, though. Remember that? Brr.

 

What can we do to prevent the rise of beaners? Very little. Other than obeying police advice and remaining vigilant towards teenagers armed with beans, we are helpless. A beaning can happen anywhere, at any time.

 

This is all very scary. Don’t be scared; it is just a TikTok trend. Give it a week and beaning will be old hat – everyone will start eating soap or wearing jelly on their head or whatever. God, I hate TikTok.

 

Do say: “Beaning is a thoughtless act of vandalism.”

 

Don’t say: “If I catch any beaners, they’re toast.”'

Beaning should be a hate crime. 

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On 03/09/2021 at 15:11, YorkshireRed said:

There’s a semi famous motel/diner near me. It’s called The Redbeck and features in one of the Red Riding Trilogy novels by David Peace.
 

More locally, it was famous for serving chips with their breakfasts. We always used to go there before any kind of ‘lads trip’. Set us up nicely for whatever was to come. 
 

D438D317-DBD0-4AE4-8351-A09491E23D79.jpeg

Mentioned this place earlier in the thread so had to share when I see someone on FB (try and ignore the unmentionable shirt) has posted an example.

 

As I said, it’s been a very long time since I’ve been in there but it doesn’t look like much has changed.

F00753C5-2289-40E5-B466-494185F21B79.jpeg

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11 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

Mentioned this place earlier in the thread so had to share when I see someone on FB (try and ignore the unmentionable shirt) has posted an example.

 

As I said, it’s been a very long time since I’ve been in there but it doesn’t look like much has changed.

F00753C5-2289-40E5-B466-494185F21B79.jpeg

Jesus H Christ. 

 

R._Lee_Ermey_c0-96-1152-767_s1770x1032.jpg

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13 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

Mentioned this place earlier in the thread so had to share when I see someone on FB (try and ignore the unmentionable shirt) has posted an example.

 

As I said, it’s been a very long time since I’ve been in there but it doesn’t look like much has changed.

F00753C5-2289-40E5-B466-494185F21B79.jpeg

That's a fucking disgrace.

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1 hour ago, YorkshireRed said:

Mentioned this place earlier in the thread so had to share when I see someone on FB (try and ignore the unmentionable shirt) has posted an example.

 

As I said, it’s been a very long time since I’ve been in there but it doesn’t look like much has changed.

F00753C5-2289-40E5-B466-494185F21B79.jpeg

Helen and Anna are scruffy horrible dirty weirdos 

 

EDIT: and probably dead if they finished that bacon 

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2 hours ago, YorkshireRed said:

Mentioned this place earlier in the thread so had to share when I see someone on FB (try and ignore the unmentionable shirt) has posted an example.

 

As I said, it’s been a very long time since I’ve been in there but it doesn’t look like much has changed.

F00753C5-2289-40E5-B466-494185F21B79.jpeg

Lucky? Fucking beans? WTF?????

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5 hours ago, YorkshireRed said:

Mentioned this place earlier in the thread so had to share when I see someone on FB (try and ignore the unmentionable shirt) has posted an example.

 

As I said, it’s been a very long time since I’ve been in there but it doesn’t look like much has changed.

F00753C5-2289-40E5-B466-494185F21B79.jpeg

 

The Benidorm Brexiteer Special.

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8 minutes ago, Trumo said:

 

The Benidorm Brexiteer Special.

Judging by that Benidorm documentary that ran on ITV for years (still not sure why Steve Pemberton went there every year, maybe the BBC don't pay very well), any Benidorm caff would be fucking ashamed to serve that shite up.

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Brunch at a cafe on Cannock chase.

 

Mrs Bela went for a philly cheese steak and the little lad has been treated to a choc muffin and some toast and jam.

 

The breakfast was great. Needed to be bigger, and missing black pudding and grilled tomato, but the ingredients on there were perfectly cooked and quality. 8/10.EDB19268-6003-4C6D-858C-F470F3EEE78B.jpeg

 

Do your worst you meffs 

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10 minutes ago, belarus said:

Brunch at a cafe on Cannock chase.

 

Mrs Bela went for a philly cheese steak and the little lad has been treated to a choc muffin and some toast and jam.

 

The breakfast was great. Needed to be bigger, and missing black pudding and grilled tomato, but the ingredients on there were perfectly cooked and quality. 8/10.EDB19268-6003-4C6D-858C-F470F3EEE78B.jpeg

 

Do your worst you meffs 

She should divorce you for the beans for a start but throw in triangular toast, a turd instead of a sausage and one measly piece of sorry looking bacon and you should be doing a 10 stretch 

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