What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[Curly]

36 minutes ago, Remmie said:

The review. 

 

I swapped beans for avocado.

Negged

[KMD7]

8 hours ago, Remmie said:

Oh christ it's in a box:

 

That's horrendous Rem. NEGGED.

[stringvest]

On weekday mornings my darling wife sorts me out with two poached eggs with chives atop some rostis surrounded by pancetta.  Occasionally she goes mad and scrambles the eggs.

[YorkshireRed]

12 minutes ago, stringvest said:

On weekday mornings my darling wife sorts me out with two poached eggs with chives atop some rostis surrounded by pancetta.  Occasionally she goes mad and scrambles the eggs.

Mrs.Vest sounds like a diamond. I’d probably tell her to ease of on the scrambling. No need to fix what ain’t broke. 

[Jarvinja Ilnow]

Dale Street Kitchen.

 

This disgusting oblong cost £8.50.

 

From left to right, rather than in order of shame:

Anaemic toast.

Two not very tasty but heavily salted eggs.

Salty mushrooms.

Barely cooked tomato.

What must have been a Richmond sausage, given it tasted awful and full of musty grains. I hadn't tasted a Richmond sausage since the 90s.

Black pud was excessively salty.

Hash brown was actually cooked well, but it shouldn't be the centre-piece of a fry-up.

Bacon - needless to say, it was salty.

Beans were rightly contained away from other breakfast items, preventing soggy bean contamination.

 

I had a taste of each item before shoving them to the end of the plate, and then eating a rather expensive hash brown beans on toast combo. At least the toast was warm and the beans avoided the cook's salt dosing regimen.

 

 

Maybe aRdja is right - I hope he isn't - that you need a bank loan to enjoy a decent breakfast.

[Bjornebye]

Tonys gonna hit the fucking roof 

[YorkshireRed]

8 minutes ago, Jarvinja Ilnow said:

Dale Street Kitchen.

 

This disgusting oblong cost £8.50.

 

From left to right, rather than in order of shame:

Anaemic toast.

Two not very tasty but heavily salted eggs.

Salty mushrooms.

Barely cooked tomato.

What must have been a Richmond sausage, given it tasted awful and full of musty grains. I hadn't tasted a Richmond sausage since the 90s.

Black pud was excessively salty.

Hash brown was actually cooked well, but it shouldn't be the centre-piece of a fry-up.

Bacon - needless to say, it was salty.

Beans were rightly contained away from other breakfast items, preventing soggy bean contamination.

 

I had a taste of each item before shoving them to the end of the plate, and then eating a rather expensive hash brown beans on toast combo. At least the toast was warm and the beans avoided the cook's salt dosing regimen.

 

 

Maybe aRdja is right - I hope he isn't - that you need a bank loan to enjoy a decent breakfast.

There’s something very disturbing about this breakfast. Seems full of symbolic messages, like its creator is trying to tell us something. The way the sausage is lined up against the hash brown is particularly upsetting. 
 

[Anubis]

 

Why are parts of the avocado yellow? Worrying.

[cloggypop]

1 hour ago, Jarvinja Ilnow said:

Dale Street Kitchen.

 

This disgusting oblong cost £8.50.

 

From left to right, rather than in order of shame:

Anaemic toast.

Two not very tasty but heavily salted eggs.

Salty mushrooms.

Barely cooked tomato.

What must have been a Richmond sausage, given it tasted awful and full of musty grains. I hadn't tasted a Richmond sausage since the 90s.

Black pud was excessively salty.

Hash brown was actually cooked well, but it shouldn't be the centre-piece of a fry-up.

Bacon - needless to say, it was salty.

Beans were rightly contained away from other breakfast items, preventing soggy bean contamination.

 

I had a taste of each item before shoving them to the end of the plate, and then eating a rather expensive hash brown beans on toast combo. At least the toast was warm and the beans avoided the cook's salt dosing regimen.

 

 

Maybe aRdja is right - I hope he isn't - that you need a bank loan to enjoy a decent breakfast.

Square, daddio

[Bob]

16 hours ago, Remmie said:

Oh christ it's in a box:

 

I think that looks delicious. Chuck some bacon and a sausage in it and I’ll take one of those every week.

[an tha]

Chips on a 'breakfast'......

 

https://www.mylondon.news/news/south-london-news/croydon-cafe-serving-up-londons-21442837.amp

[YorkshireRed]

6 minutes ago, an tha said:

Chips on a 'breakfast'......

 

https://www.mylondon.news/news/south-london-news/croydon-cafe-serving-up-londons-21442837.amp

There’s a semi famous motel/diner near me. It’s called The Redbeck and features in one of the Red Riding Trilogy novels by David Peace.
 

More locally, it was famous for serving chips with their breakfasts. We always used to go there before any kind of ‘lads trip’. Set us up nicely for whatever was to come. 
 

[aRdja]

On 02/09/2021 at 21:56, Strontium Dog™ said:

I don't eat avocado but she loves it and it seems to me there's a pretty narrow window between an unripe avocado with the texture of an apple and the point when it turns into overripe mush.

There are two different types; Hass is mushy, and Shephard is more apple-y.

 

https://www.theguardian.com/food/2019/mar/19/avocad-no-why-does-everyone-hate-the-shepard-avocado

 

 

[an tha]

7 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

There’s a semi famous motel/diner near me. It’s called The Redbeck and features in one of the Red Riding Trilogy novels by David Peace.
 

More locally, it was famous for serving chips with their breakfasts. We always used to go there before any kind of ‘lads trip’. Set us up nicely for whatever was to come. 
 

I am not anti chips on a fry up at all, but for me it is not a breakfast once they are added, its a fry up.

 

I'm awkward/pedantic like that.

 

Nice place - shame about the flag.

[Mudface]

30 minutes ago, an tha said:

Chips on a 'breakfast'......

 

https://www.mylondon.news/news/south-london-news/croydon-cafe-serving-up-londons-21442837.amp

So it's a largish breakfast, with 3000 calories worth of probably shit chips.

[YorkshireRed]

4 minutes ago, an tha said:

I am not anti chips on a fry up at all, but for me it is not a breakfast once they are added, its a fry up.

 

I'm awkward/pedantic like that.

 

Nice place - shame about the flag.

It’s had a facelift since I used to go, probably more than twenty five years. It used to be a proper ‘truck stop’ kind of place. The early hours of the morning were a heady mix of truckers and pissed up fuckers who had (in those days) no where else to go after 2am.

 

Let’s just say the flag probably attracts (or at least doesn’t put off) a good percentage of its clientele. 
 

I’m inclined to agree with you about chips on a breakfast. On the upside, there’s no way you’d be getting a breakfast served in a box in that place and I’d probably avoid asking if they have any avocado. 

[Bjornebye]

Chips on a breakfast? How about a plate of stew on the side? jesus wept 

[YorkshireRed]

14 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Chips on a breakfast? How about a plate of stew on the side? jesus wept 

It’s a tricky one this. Chips? No. Fried potatoes? Yes. 

[Captain Willard]

16 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

It’s a tricky one this. Chips? No. Fried potatoes? Yes. 

They came with beans

I did not speak out becuase I quite like beans.
They came with advacado

i did not speak out becuase I quite like advacado

They came with chips

Enough of this shit, they’ve crossed a fucking line now. 

 

 

[lifetime fan]

23 hours ago, stringvest said:

On weekday mornings my darling wife sorts me out with two poached eggs with chives atop some rostis surrounded by pancetta.  Occasionally she goes mad and scrambles the eggs.

Well in mate. 

[an tha]

1 hour ago, Mudface said:

So it's a largish breakfast, with 3000 calories worth of probably shit chips.

Pretty much

[an tha]

1 hour ago, YorkshireRed said:

It’s had a facelift since I used to go, probably more than twenty five years. It used to be a proper ‘truck stop’ kind of place. The early hours of the morning were a heady mix of truckers and pissed up fuckers who had (in those days) no where else to go after 2am.

 

Let’s just say the flag probably attracts (or at least doesn’t put off) a good percentage of its clientele. 
 

I’m inclined to agree with you about chips on a breakfast. On the upside, there’s no way you’d be getting a breakfast served in a box in that place and I’d probably avoid asking if they have any avocado. 

Bin the flag and it sounds like my kind of place!

[Mook]

21 hours ago, Jarvinja Ilnow said:

Dale Street Kitchen.

 

This disgusting oblong cost £8.50.

 

From left to right, rather than in order of shame:

Anaemic toast.

Two not very tasty but heavily salted eggs.

Salty mushrooms.

Barely cooked tomato.

What must have been a Richmond sausage, given it tasted awful and full of musty grains. I hadn't tasted a Richmond sausage since the 90s.

Black pud was excessively salty.

Hash brown was actually cooked well, but it shouldn't be the centre-piece of a fry-up.

Bacon - needless to say, it was salty.

Beans were rightly contained away from other breakfast items, preventing soggy bean contamination.

 

I had a taste of each item before shoving them to the end of the plate, and then eating a rather expensive hash brown beans on toast combo. At least the toast was warm and the beans avoided the cook's salt dosing regimen.

 

 

Maybe aRdja is right - I hope he isn't - that you need a bank loan to enjoy a decent breakfast.

There's a lot of horrible shit going on here but serving a plate that size with only one sausage?

 

Send some cunt back in time to terminate their fucking Mum.

 

Arsehole.

[Mudface]

58 minutes ago, Mook said:

There's a lot of horrible shit going on here but serving a plate that size with only one sausage?

 

Send some cunt back in time to terminate their fucking Mum.

 

Arsehole.

That fucking 4500 calorie abortion only had two sausages on it. Cockney cunts.

[Paulie Dangerously]

23 hours ago, Jarvinja Ilnow said:

Dale Street Kitchen.

 

This disgusting oblong cost £8.50.

 

From left to right, rather than in order of shame:

Anaemic toast.

Two not very tasty but heavily salted eggs.

Salty mushrooms.

Barely cooked tomato.

What must have been a Richmond sausage, given it tasted awful and full of musty grains. I hadn't tasted a Richmond sausage since the 90s.

Black pud was excessively salty.

Hash brown was actually cooked well, but it shouldn't be the centre-piece of a fry-up.

Bacon - needless to say, it was salty.

Beans were rightly contained away from other breakfast items, preventing soggy bean contamination.

 

I had a taste of each item before shoving them to the end of the plate, and then eating a rather expensive hash brown beans on toast combo. At least the toast was warm and the beans avoided the cook's salt dosing regimen.

 

 

Maybe aRdja is right - I hope he isn't - that you need a bank loan to enjoy a decent breakfast.

Can't believe no-one has mentioned the pitiful portion of brown sauce. I assume its Daddies or some other shite because otherwise they'd have the HP on show. 

2 hours ago, YorkshireRed said:

It’s a tricky one this. Chips? No. Fried potatoes? Yes. 

It's not that tricky. Neither belong. 

1 hour ago, Mook said:

There's a lot of horrible shit going on here but serving a plate that size with only one sausage?

 

Send some cunt back in time to terminate their fucking Mum.

 

Arsehole.

The plate gives me anxiety. It's more like a trough that only an absolute fucking pig would eat out of