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What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

Beans with a full English?  

213 members have voted

  1. 1. Beans with a full English?

    • Aye, bean me up, Scotty.
      124
    • Nay, poke your beans up your bum, one at a time.
      70


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15 minutes ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

Ha ha. Mrs kurtz has met bob geldoff and said he smelt like an actual tramp. Paula Yates sank in the year leading up to their divorce said he would go months without taking a shower.

Must have been a deep bath.

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23 minutes ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

Ha ha. Mrs kurtz has met bob geldoff and said he smelt like an actual tramp. Paula Yates sank in the year leading up to their divorce said he would go months without taking a shower.

 

It's not only Mondays he didn't like.

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50 minutes ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

Ha ha. Mrs kurtz has met bob geldoff and said he smelt like an actual tramp. Paula Yates sank in the year leading up to their divorce said he would go months without taking a shower.

@Captain Turdseye is Bob Geldof? scenes 

 

shock+collar.gif

 

 

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1 hour ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

Took the kids and Mrs Kurtz to Headingly to watch the cricket and stayed the night in the Malmaison. The ladies in the queue for the night club opposite the hotel are a sight to behold. Anyway, this was breakfast. Eggs and bacon a bit over cooked but not shabby. My boys more than made up for it by taking solid advantage of the free buffet. 

0E05AE58-5048-4595-8DBC-25FBC935F403.jpeg


Supermarket Scampi on a breakfast. 
 

You dirty bastard. 

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4 minutes ago, belarus said:

One of the worst breakfasts I’ve ever had. It can fuck off

4D58156C-2491-4D42-91F9-2AA65CF3A54A.jpeg

The mushrooms look ok and I’m neutral over the hash brown. Everything else should be thrown in the nonces wing of breakfast prison and the plate frisbeed into the chops of whoever cooked it. 

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2 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

The mushrooms look ok and I’m neutral over the hash brown. Everything else should be thrown in the nonces wing of breakfast prison and the plate frisbeed into the chops of whoever cooked it. 

The mushrooms were the worst bit, and that takes some doing with how bad it all was. They were watery and stone cold. I’m honestly fucking fuming. I was dead excited for it too. Had a skinful last night, was buzzing for this and it was fucking shite

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5 minutes ago, belarus said:

The mushrooms were the worst bit, and that takes some doing with how bad it all was. They were watery and stone cold. I’m honestly fucking fuming. I was dead excited for it too. Had a skinful last night, was buzzing for this and it was fucking shite

Given the circumstances, no jury in the land would convict you if you now cook and eat the person who made it. They brought it on themselves, plus a man has to eat. 

  • Upvote 2

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37 minutes ago, belarus said:

One of the worst breakfasts I’ve ever had. It can fuck off

4D58156C-2491-4D42-91F9-2AA65CF3A54A.jpeg

What's in the bowl? 

 

Did you get any toast? Tea? 

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Just now, Trumo said:

 

Fruit. Tinned obviously.

It's pineapple; he's putting pineapple on his breakfast.

  • Upvote 3

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2 minutes ago, TheHowieLama said:

I do like the fact that you appear to have a bacon shark cruising the slimy waters between the beans and the erm, scrambled egg.

 

Bacon Shark do doo do doo do doo

Hahaha - that fucking tune haunts me with having an 18 month old!

 

Honestly not sure I’ll ever get over that this morning. 2.5 hour drive home and I’m still gutted. I was well excited for it and it looked great on the plate and it was horrible. Cold mushrooms, dry cold scrambled egg, a solid mass of turd was the sausage - weird consistency to it, the bacon was rolled up together, so the bits on the outside were cooked, but the piece wrapped into the middle wasn’t cooked. The black pudding was dried out to fuck. The beans, egg and hash brown were ok, but you can’t get them wrong and they are merely supporting cast members anyway. I need something phenomenal for tea to get over it. Might do a roast if I can muster the energy with this hangover. Cunts

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Do you know what, if you take the nonce tokens off that it looks a decent hangover cure. I also like the fact whoever cooked it punched fuck out of it before they served you it. 

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2 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Do you know what, if you take the nonce tokens off that it looks a decent hangover cure. I also like the fact whoever cooked it punched fuck out of it before they served you it. 

Agreed - it looks amazing. It made the disappointment even harder to take

 

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5 hours ago, belarus said:

Agreed - it looks amazing. It made the disappointment even harder to take

 

A hot bath, a Seal album, a few candles and as Turdseye would suggest... two fingers gently slid up the bottom and you'll be fine. 

  • Upvote 2

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1 hour ago, AngryOfTuebrook said:

My kind of place.

 

Screenshot_2021-08-10-09-26-36-86.jpg

Haha.

 

All joking aside, if that’s the marketing picture, imagine the horror presented to you if you went and bought one in person. Jesus.

 

”Chuck me the kitchen roll will you?”

”Why? Have you spilt something?”

”No, no. I just want to remove any moisture from these beans before I serve them”

  • Upvote 1

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