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What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

Beans with a full English?  

213 members have voted

  1. 1. Beans with a full English?

    • Aye, bean me up, Scotty.
      124
    • Nay, poke your beans up your bum, one at a time.
      70


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1 hour ago, belarus said:

Well there it is - a seeded fucking batch. Uncooked at that. Bad enough you’d think, but then we are told it is buttered….wait for it….face down!!

Not enough is being made of this. Why in the name of fuck would you ‘butter’ bread and then place it face down?

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14 minutes ago, DJLJ said:

Not enough is being made of this. Why in the name of fuck would you ‘butter’ bread and then place it face down?

That whole 'breakfast' is so far away from being a 'breakfast', the bread is a million miles away from the unspoken villain. 

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19 hours ago, Strontium Dog™ said:

I have a strong idea of how this will be received here, but I present my findings in the interests of science.

 

 

Joro Vegan Eatery, Birkenhead (takeaway). £6.50

 

joro.jpg

 

 

Well, look. I enjoyed this. The beans, hash brown and tomato were exactly what you'd expect. The sausages were nice, similar to the Linda McCartney ones. The toast was buttered on the other side (well, not butter, obviously). The spinach/onion/mushroom mix was unusual but fine, and it all tasted good when I stuck it on the toast with everything else. The stuff in the pot is hummus, which has no business being on a breakfast.

I pity the fool.

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3 minutes ago, Remmie said:

Vegan breakfast with toast that has been "buttered"? A swindle is afoot dear Watson

Don't they have vegan butter in Milton Keynes yet? 

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2 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Don't they have vegan butter in Milton Keynes yet? 

Might taste like pumpkin pie but I wouldn't know, 'cause I won't eat the filthy motherfuckers

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4 minutes ago, Remmie said:

Might taste like pumpkin pie but I wouldn't know, 'cause I won't eat the filthy motherfuckers

Haha. Its nice 

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I just wanted to quote Samuel L Jackson, I probably would try it, I get annoyed at people who won't try stuff. 

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6 hours ago, Remmie said:

I just wanted to quote Samuel L Jackson, I probably would try it, I get annoyed at people who won't try stuff. 

Does it turn you into a mushroom cloud laying motherfucker, motherfucker? Are you the guns of the navarone?

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28 minutes ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

 

He did better than I thought he would - probably got through £15 worth of that. 
 

No chance I’d order that between 5 people abs share it either. Fucking toast and sausages getting double dipped? With my mrs and my lad, but that’s the extent of who I’d share with off the same plate. Anyone else can fuck off.

 

And no bacon? Disgraceful that

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1 minute ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

The sheer amount of toast alone would see me off.

Agreed - 10 slices I could do in one go like. I reckon I have even done that before to be honest. I’m not even boasting, just telling it like it is. I can’t stand it when cunts boast and lie. It gets right on my 10 inch cock

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2 minutes ago, belarus said:

Agreed - 10 slices I could do in one go like. I reckon I have even done that before to be honest. I’m not even boasting, just telling it like it is. I can’t stand it when cunts boast and lie. It gets right on my 10 inch cock

If I ate 10 slices of toast I wouldn't shit for a week. That challenge above is fuck all as well in the competitive eating world, they'd eat that as a snack.

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1 minute ago, Elite said:

If I ate 10 slices of toast I wouldn't shit for a week. That challenge above is fuck all as well in the competitive eating world, they'd eat that as a snack.

How long do you reckon Matt stonie does that in? I’m saying 10 minutes. Max

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2 minutes ago, belarus said:

How long do you reckon Matt stonie does that in? I’m saying 10 minutes. Max

Just googled him, probably not long. He's a proper scrawny fucker as well.

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7 minutes ago, Elite said:

Just googled him, probably not long. He's a proper scrawny fucker as well.

He’s an absolute anomaly mate. Great YouTube rabbit hole to go down to be fair. You’ll be starving though watching him

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Just now, belarus said:

He’s an absolute anomaly mate. Great YouTube rabbit hole to go down to be fair. You’ll be starving though watching him

I'll have a look. It's oddly fascinating watching people eat ridiculous amounts of food in one go.

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20 minutes ago, Elite said:

I'll have a look. It's oddly fascinating watching people eat ridiculous amounts of food in one go.

Yeah, I agree mate. This is where I started with these vids - good jump off point. I had a go at this too thinking I could eat one in under a minute. I was wrong.

 

 

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2 hours ago, Elite said:

No idea how people can manage to eat all that. I'd struggle to eat 1/10th of it.

When flicking through the channels the other night I saw man v food for the 1st time. I was aware of the show and maybe seen 5 mins here and there, but some of the food they eat in there is insane. I can eat plenty, but I don't really get the attraction of eating like that. 

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4 minutes ago, Barrington Womble said:

When flicking through the channels the other night I saw man v food for the 1st time. I was aware of the show and maybe seen 5 mins here and there, but some of the food they eat in there is insane. I can eat plenty, but I don't really get the attraction of eating like that. 

I went to a diner in Vegas with an all you can eat challenge and it all looked very low quality and dripping in grease. I wasn't interested anyway as there were no vegetarian options. I've heard that there is a lot of focus on huge portions of low quality meat throughout the States and it works. 

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10 minutes ago, Remmie said:

I went to a diner in Vegas with an all you can eat challenge and it all looked very low quality and dripping in grease. I wasn't interested anyway as there were no vegetarian options. I've heard that there is a lot of focus on huge portions of low quality meat throughout the States and it works. 

“Bring me all the kale that you have” 

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