What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[Dr Nowt]

Having Red Bull on the rocks with your breakfast makes you more or less a bon vivant in this thread.

[Elite]

59 minutes ago, TK421 said:

The drink is full fat Red Bull on ice.

 

I had a massive argument with some cunt who had their nose sticking out of their face mask when I bought it.  Nothing riles me like a dicknose. 

Nothing like Red Bull to calm you down.

[Tony Moanero]

1 hour ago, TK421 said:

The drink is full fat Red Bull on ice.

 

I had a massive argument with some cunt who had their nose sticking out of their face mask when I bought it.  Nothing riles me like a dicknose. 

Red Bull rep. Some years ago, I lost 8 stone on a diet of Red Bull, cucumber maki and Twister lolly ices.

 

With regards to the breakfast, add an extra sausage, plus some tomatoes and mushrooms and I’d be happy.

[Pureblood]

Just now, Tony Moanero said:

Red Bull rep. Some years ago, I lost 8 stone on a diet of Red Bull, cucumber maki and Twister lolly ices.

Cucumber is my kryptonite.  I can't eat anything that has touched a sliced cucumber. 

[Tony Moanero]

1 minute ago, TK421 said:

Cucumber is my kryptonite.  I can't eat anything that has touched a sliced cucumber. 

It repeats on me something rotten.

[Pureblood]

Just now, Tony Moanero said:

It repeats on me something rotten.

Yep, it's with me for hours afterwards. The devil's courgette. 

[Bjornebye]

They're having a go at cucumbers now... this fucking thread 

[Jairzinho]

The sausage looks like it was given to Mook to cook but he got distracted.

[Elite]

9 minutes ago, Tony Moanero said:

Red Bull rep. Some years ago, I lost 8 stone on a diet of Red Bull, cucumber maki and Twister lolly ices.

 

With regards to the breakfast, add an extra sausage, plus some tomatoes and mushrooms and I’d be happy.

 

 

 

[Strontium]

8 minutes ago, TK421 said:

Cucumber is my kryptonite.  I can't eat anything that has touched a sliced cucumber. 

 

I am 100% with you on this. Vile stuff. Even if you remove it you can still taste it. But tell people and most of the time you are met with bemusement.

[Bjornebye]

Just now, Jairzinho said:

The sausage looks like it was given to Mook to cook but he got distracted.

Mate he could sit on the table and the whole thing wouldn't be seen until dispatches 

[TheHowieLama]

1 hour ago, TheHowieLama said:

I hope that is a glass of straight Jameson because otherwise none of that is up to snuff.

 

The toast - is rye?

 

Also, you are not supposed to stand the sausage on its end to cook it. that leaves the rest of it raw.

 

 

 

1 hour ago, Numero Veinticinco said:

I'm pretty sure you're suppose to put the sausages on the side when you cook it, not stand it on end. HTH.

 

1 hour ago, Numero Veinticinco said:

But that isn't consistent with the requirements of my joke, TK. Jokes first, reality second. 

 

First jokes first. Good one.

[Jairzinho]

1 minute ago, Bjornebye said:

Mate he could sit on the table and the whole thing wouldn't be seen until dispatches 

[Pureblood]

8 minutes ago, Strontium Dog™ said:

 

I am 100% with you on this. Vile stuff. Even if you remove it you can still taste it. But tell people and most of the time you are met with bemusement.

This is the start of anti-'cumber movement.

 

If they're 96% water then the other 4% is Satan's septic arse snot. 

[Numero Veinticinco]

1 minute ago, TheHowieLama said:

 

 

 

First jokes first. Good one.

Oh, day-um. That's on me. Sorry, full credit to you. Do I need to pay royalties? 

[TheHowieLama]

4 minutes ago, Numero Veinticinco said:

Oh, day-um. That's on me. Sorry, full credit to you. Do I need to pay royalties? 

No man - the highest form of flattery is sarcasm. S'all good.

[YorkshireRed]

Sliced cucumber atop some quality cheese as part of a sandwich based snack is a tasty state of affairs. 

[Remmie]

The cucumbers you buy in Britain are flavourless bloated dickheads. In Ukraine they are about the size of a carrot, nobbly as fuck and packed with flavour and obviously therefore far superior. 

[Tony Moanero]

Gherkins > ordinary cucumbers 

[TheHowieLama]

12 minutes ago, Remmie said:

The cucumbers you buy in Britain are flavourless bloated dickheads. In Ukraine they are about the size of a carrot, nobbly as fuck and packed with flavour and obviously therefore far superior. 

Is this a euphemism or TMI?

[Bjornebye]

12 minutes ago, Remmie said:

The cucumbers you buy in Britain are flavourless bloated dickheads. In Ukraine they are about the size of a carrot, nobbly as fuck and packed with flavour and obviously therefore far superior. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Evelyn Tentions]

1 hour ago, TheHowieLama said:

I hope that is a glass of straight Jameson because otherwise none of that is up to snuff.

 

The toast - is rye?

 

Also, you are not supposed to stand the sausage on its end to cook it. that leaves the rest of it raw.

 

 

I don't know if it belongs here or on The World of a Woman thread.

I was at a  BBQ cook it yourself place with a Vietnamese lady recently. The range of foods was amazing. Big problem was cooking the sausages,she was catching them before they disappeared between the bars. Showing her to lay them across the grill was a real watching the lights go on moment

[Carvalho Diablo]

18 minutes ago, Tony Moanero said:

Gherkins > ordinary cucumbers 

And neither belong within a million miles of a breakfast.

[TheHowieLama]

7 minutes ago, Evelyn Tentions said:

I don't know if it belongs here or on The World of a Woman thread.

I was at a  BBQ cook it yourself place with a Vietnamese lady recently. The range of foods was amazing. Big problem was cooking the sausages,she was catching them before they disappeared between the bars. Showing her to lay them across the grill was a real watching the lights go on moment

I think it was Bumcunt on here awhile back who tried to have a family barb and could not figure out the same. 

Either that or Kurtz. One of the Colonels.

[Evelyn Tentions]

1 minute ago, TheHowieLama said:

I think it was Bumcunt on here awhile back who tried to have a family barb and could not figure out the same. 

Either that or Kurtz. One of the Colonels.

Yes,  I commented on it at time. It seems to be a common problem. That may be the reason so many Australians have a plate rather than a grill. Which just converts the BBQ into a giant frying pan