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What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?


ISeeRed
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Beans with a full English?  

229 members have voted

  1. 1. Beans with a full English?

    • Aye, bean me up, Scotty.
      124
    • Nay, poke your beans up your bum, one at a time.
      73


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36 minutes ago, belarus said:

To be fair, the stuff on the plate looks well cooked and a pot of bean juice is amazing - it’s all about the juice.

 

I hope you turned yourself in to operation yew tree if you ate that brown “toast”.

 

The poachies look great, although could be slightly overdone - was there any ooze?

The eggs were genuinely tremendous. Couldn’t have been better.

 

The pictures toast was sent back. The replacement toast was no better but at least was warm enough to melt the butter second time around.

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7 minutes ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

The eggs were genuinely tremendous. Couldn’t have been better.

 

The pictures toast was sent back. The replacement toast was no better but at least was warm enough to melt the butter second time around.

Nice. Perfect poached eggs are every man’s dream.

 

In terms of the toast, it’s the brown toast element I won’t stand for. It’s out of order and just plain wrong

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4 hours ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

So here goes...

 

went for the “full Yorkshire breakfast”

 

no idea of cost as included and this was a gift for us from my ex.

 

let’s get it out of the way... the beans were a fucking disgrace. My missus had the same and hers were ever so slightly better where you could actually see some beans amongst the juice, but still. Microwaved beans. My head is shaking as I type this.

 

second... the “toast”. Once upon a time before covid the toast would be a serve yourself affair I think. As it is, I’m sat looking at the fraud who’s been given that job and he hasn’t a clue. We send back our first effort (pictured) cause not only was it not toast, but it was stone cold to boot. Second lot arrived modestly warm and still untoasted.

 

If I hadn’t got a view of the affair I’d assume the heat lamp it was sitting under to “keep warm” was the only heat source involved.

 

breakfast itself, good. Bacon was lovely and well cooked, sausage was superb, and the poached eggs were the star of the whole affair.

 

hash browns were fine, mushroom was grand and the tomato was as good as you could ask for.

 

overall, a decent start to the day. Giving me something to whine about makes it almost perfect.

 

5/10

 

 

B76CA647-6D48-4244-9647-FFCA7F7232E3.jpeg

41E470EC-F342-475F-89C5-48858957174A.jpeg

Repped, very thoughtful of your ex, a lovely gift. As for the breakfast, the portion size is a disgrace. One mushroom and half a tomato! At least the little saucepan is handy for lashing the Baked Bastards down the toilet.

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TK's Ratings

 

Hash browns - those look okay, although Remmie would call them "imposters", or something. 6/10

 

Eggs - look fine, definitely the standout item. 8/10

 

Bacon - two rashers appear well done. 7/10

 

Sausage - looks well cooked but only one saus. 6/10

 

Mushroom - bog standard. 4/10

 

Tomato - pointless. 1/10

 

Toast - hahahahaha. 0/10

 

Beans - just fuck off. At least they're safely quarantined. 1/10

 

Overall 6/10. A reasonable effort marred by some superfluous items and shocking toast. 

 

 

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12 hours ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

So here goes...

 

went for the “full Yorkshire breakfast”

 

no idea of cost as included and this was a gift for us from my ex.

 

let’s get it out of the way... the beans were a fucking disgrace. My missus had the same and hers were ever so slightly better where you could actually see some beans amongst the juice, but still. Microwaved beans. My head is shaking as I type this.

 

second... the “toast”. Once upon a time before covid the toast would be a serve yourself affair I think. As it is, I’m sat looking at the fraud who’s been given that job and he hasn’t a clue. We send back our first effort (pictured) cause not only was it not toast, but it was stone cold to boot. Second lot arrived modestly warm and still untoasted.

 

If I hadn’t got a view of the affair I’d assume the heat lamp it was sitting under to “keep warm” was the only heat source involved.

 

breakfast itself, good. Bacon was lovely and well cooked, sausage was superb, and the poached eggs were the star of the whole affair.

 

hash browns were fine, mushroom was grand and the tomato was as good as you could ask for.

 

overall, a decent start to the day. Giving me something to whine about makes it almost perfect.

 

5/10

 

 

B76CA647-6D48-4244-9647-FFCA7F7232E3.jpeg

41E470EC-F342-475F-89C5-48858957174A.jpeg

Yorkshire should get the Nagasaki treatment on the basis of that fucking shambles.

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On 15/06/2021 at 17:59, Bob Spunkmouse said:

Staying at a posh spa hotel near harrogate tonight as a joint 40th present for me and the missus, and looking forward already to posting the breakie in the morning.

 

currently sat drinking in the garden near the roof terrace spa with not another soul around us, having tried a bit of golf (dreadfully) in the sunshine earlier, dinner in an hour, then maybe more spa action too, but it’s breakfast I’m looking forward to already.

If I ever stay at a spa or hotel, which isn't often, i'm always fucking tanked and hungover to death the next morning so can't enjoy the breakfast, it's a right pisser.

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On 16/06/2021 at 09:36, Bob Spunkmouse said:

So here goes...

 

went for the “full Yorkshire breakfast”

 

no idea of cost as included and this was a gift for us from my ex.

 

let’s get it out of the way... the beans were a fucking disgrace. My missus had the same and hers were ever so slightly better where you could actually see some beans amongst the juice, but still. Microwaved beans. My head is shaking as I type this.

 

second... the “toast”. Once upon a time before covid the toast would be a serve yourself affair I think. As it is, I’m sat looking at the fraud who’s been given that job and he hasn’t a clue. We send back our first effort (pictured) cause not only was it not toast, but it was stone cold to boot. Second lot arrived modestly warm and still untoasted.

 

If I hadn’t got a view of the affair I’d assume the heat lamp it was sitting under to “keep warm” was the only heat source involved.

 

breakfast itself, good. Bacon was lovely and well cooked, sausage was superb, and the poached eggs were the star of the whole affair.

 

hash browns were fine, mushroom was grand and the tomato was as good as you could ask for.

 

overall, a decent start to the day. Giving me something to whine about makes it almost perfect.

 

5/10

 

 

B76CA647-6D48-4244-9647-FFCA7F7232E3.jpeg

41E470EC-F342-475F-89C5-48858957174A.jpeg

What makes me laugh about this is it looks ten times better than you've described, which is almost always the opposite on here. Remember when  Lifetime fan posted that breakfast he'd stolen from the Towering inferno and talked it up ??,

 

I'm joking,

 

of course you remember it,

 

it was the best day in this great threads history.

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4 minutes ago, TK421 said:

My-brunch-by-TK421.jpg

 

I made myself some brunch.  You may critique, comment and neg at will.

 

My keys are the ones with Darth Vader on them who has "BAD DARK SIDE MUTHAFUCKA" inscribed upon him. 

Looks like you washed brunch down with a glass of urine. Whatever works I suppose.

 

I’ll let others comment on the horror show that is toast without butter. 
 

I was going to leave it there, but then I noticed the sausage. Was it used to clean out an ashtray before being added to the plate?

 

Mark off for being the kind of person who calls any meal ‘brunch’

 

6/10.

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1 minute ago, YorkshireRed said:

I was going to leave it there, but then I noticed the sausage. Was it used to clean out an ashtray before being added to the plate?

The black specks are ground pepper.  

 

You can try, but you can not denigrate this culinary masterpiece.

 

Real tasty.

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12 minutes ago, TK421 said:

My-brunch-by-TK421.jpg

 

I made myself some brunch.  You may critique, comment and neg at will.

 

My keys are the ones with Darth Vader on them who has "BAD DARK SIDE MUTHAFUCKA" inscribed upon him. 

Proof that insistently wearing a mask can save your life.

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13 minutes ago, TK421 said:

My-brunch-by-TK421.jpg

 

I made myself some brunch.  You may critique, comment and neg at will.

 

My keys are the ones with Darth Vader on them who has "BAD DARK SIDE MUTHAFUCKA" inscribed upon him. 

I'm pretty sure you're suppose to put the sausages on the side when you cook it, not stand it on end. HTH.

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2 minutes ago, Numero Veinticinco said:

I'm pretty sure you're suppose to put the sausages on the side when you cook it, not stand it on end. HTH.

It's just because it was near the edge of the pan - everything on the plate was cooked in the same pan.  It's actually an evenly cooked sausage and was "real tasty".  

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Just now, TK421 said:

It's just because it was near the edge of the pan - everything on the plate was cooked in the same pan.  It's actually an evenly cooked sausage and was "real tasty".  

But that isn't consistent with the requirements of my joke, TK. Jokes first, reality second. 

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24 minutes ago, TK421 said:

My-brunch-by-TK421.jpg

 

I made myself some brunch.  You may critique, comment and neg at will.

 

My keys are the ones with Darth Vader on them who has "BAD DARK SIDE MUTHAFUCKA" inscribed upon him. 

Forgetting the toast that would be lovely if you doubled the portions of the egg and bacon. Vodka Red Bull? Go TK Go 

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