What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[Bruce Spanner]

‘What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?’ was the question posed.

 

This, does not, none of it in any way answer that.

 

Horror show.

[lifetime fan]

Is that cigarette ash in the tea? 

[Bruce Spanner]

23 minutes ago, lifetime fan said:

Is that cigarette ash in the tea? 

Would have been a significant improvement if it was.

[Curly]

1 hour ago, Bruce Spanner said:

‘What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?’ was the question posed.

 

This, does not, none of it in any way answer that.

 

Horror show.

That actually looks like a solid effort that you’d get from a chain hotel - like a steady 6 out of 10. What was the main beef with it? The coffee looks good too - is that misleading as well or does it do that cup justice?

[Bob]

1 hour ago, Bruce Spanner said:

‘What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?’ was the question posed.

 

This, does not, none of it in any way answer that.

 

Horror show.

I’m thinking alone the same lines as belarus here. Doesn’t look like the description you give.

 

the eggs look overlooked and there’s no need to serve the beans in a ramekin, but otherwise that looks sound from here.

[Bruce Spanner]

8 minutes ago, belarus said:

That actually looks like a solid effort that you’d get from a chain hotel - like a steady 6 out of 10. What was the main beef with it? The coffee looks good too - is that misleading as well or does it do that cup justice?

 

4 minutes ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

I’m thinking alone the same lines as belarus here. Doesn’t look like the description you give.

 

the eggs look overlooked and there’s no need to serve the beans in a ramekin, but otherwise that looks sound from here.

Bacon half cooked, sausages with so much ‘other’ filling that they’re just essentially entrails with a whole load of salt and pepper in skin, eggs deep fried to the point the slip off the fork, I bounced one of the mushrooms off the floor, either cook the tomato, or don’t, don’t give me this half way house, half hearted bullshit.

 

Ghastly.

 

Coffee was fine.

[Curly]

10 minutes ago, Bruce Spanner said:

 

Bacon half cooked, sausages with so much ‘other’ filling that they’re just essentially entrails with a whole load of salt and pepper in skin, eggs deep fried to the point the slip off the fork, I bounced one of the mushrooms off the floor, either cook the tomato, or don’t, don’t give me this half way house, half hearted bullshit.

 

Ghastly.

 

Coffee was fine.

Yeah, that paints a very familiar picture now to be fair. We’ve all been there.

 

I could actually taste the sausage from that description 

[Elite]

1 hour ago, Bruce Spanner said:

‘What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?’ was the question posed.

 

This, does not, none of it in any way answer that.

 

Horror show.

If McDonalds did a full English, that's exactly what it would look like .

[Bob]

38 minutes ago, Bruce Spanner said:

 

Bacon half cooked, sausages with so much ‘other’ filling that they’re just essentially entrails with a whole load of salt and pepper in skin, eggs deep fried to the point the slip off the fork, I bounced one of the mushrooms off the floor, either cook the tomato, or don’t, don’t give me this half way house, half hearted bullshit.

 

Ghastly.

 

Coffee was fine.

Great passion. You convinced me.

[lifetime fan]

42 minutes ago, Bruce Spanner said:

 

Bacon half cooked, sausages with so much ‘other’ filling that they’re just essentially entrails with a whole load of salt and pepper in skin, eggs deep fried to the point the slip off the fork, I bounced one of the mushrooms off the floor, either cook the tomato, or don’t, don’t give me this half way house, half hearted bullshit.

 

Ghastly.

 

Coffee was fine.

 

You deserved that fucking monstrosity. 

[YorkshireRed]

15 hours ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

Where’s the vid of the fat lad eating his breakfast in a VW camper van in a diner in batley? 
 

anyway, just pretend I’m replying to that...

 

went this morning with my missus and my little girl and, in the fat lad’s words, “it were lovely, that”

 

one significant issue is that on all three of ours (they both had pancakes with bacon and syrup, I had the skillet hash thing fatty had, with added sausages) they barely cooked the bacon.

 

wasn’t such as issue for me cause there was plenty of stuff for it to hide behind and thankfully there was chopped up crispy bacon in the mix of potatoes and cheese anyway, but seriously I was sad for those two.

 

my eggs looked like they still were a bit

jelly on the top at first glance, but they weren’t. Very good eggs in the end, though  I wish I’d asked for over easy as they’d have looked better on arrival of I did.

 

if they’d have cooked the bacon properly, would’ve got a 8/10, but can only give it 5 cause it was so far away from being sufficiently cooked, and you can’t get away with that at all with streaky bacon.

 

 Place was great though. Could easily be tacky and shit, but absolutely wasn’t. Would go again, but will be sure next time to ask specifically for any meat to be cooked.

 

 

Batley you say. What is this place called? I think I know the one you mean but just checking. 
 

Your daughter looks happy and that is the most important thing. 
 

One of the better breakfasts I’ve seen on here in a while. The bacon let’s it down, I’ve had to stop looking at it as it’s beginning to piss me right off. It has no business turning up on that plate in that state. If there was a dress code for breakfast ingredients then this fucker would have been turned away at the door.

[Bob]

5 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

Batley you say. What is this place called? I think I know the one you mean but just checking. 
 

Your daughter looks happy and that is the most important thing. 
 

One of the better breakfasts I’ve seen on here in a while. The bacon let’s it down, I’ve had to stop looking at it as it’s beginning to piss me right off. It has no business turning up on that plate in that state. If there was a dress code for breakfast ingredients then this fucker would have been turned away at the door.

The diner is Jem’s Pit Stop, easy to find just down on the left after the junction where the subway is as you drive down from IKEA 

[YorkshireRed]

Just now, Bob Spunkmouse said:

The diner is Jem’s Pit Stop, easy to find just down on the left after the junction where the subway is as you drive down from IKEA 

Cheers, I know it. I thought that was the one you meant. We walk the dog at Oakwell Hall occasionally and pass it on our way too and from. I’ve always meant to give it a try, I will now. 

[Bob]

9 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

Cheers, I know it. I thought that was the one you meant. We walk the dog at Oakwell Hall occasionally and pass it on our way too and from. I’ve always meant to give it a try, I will now. 

Looks like a good spot. Has a space for a comedy night too, and the main food menu sounded good.

 

bacon aside, really impressed with the place.

[Bruce Spanner]

3 hours ago, Bruce Spanner said:

‘What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?’ was the question posed.

 

This, does not, none of it in any way answer that.

 

Horror show.

Take two, and much better...

 

 

 

And yes, yes that is a mimosa, because I’m a classy bitch.

[Curly]

Got inspired by this thread so ordered a late breakfast. 
 

£6.80 all in - one of everything. I’d already eaten so was just after the taste really.

 

There was bacon, but when I opened the box it stood up, walked itself over to the oven and got in to introduce itself to its first ever interaction with heat.

 

First bite on the sausage yielded a lump of hard gristle. Straight to the dog that went.

 

Once the bacon was done it complemented the rest to being average - 6/10. The sausage was fucking filth though and was a 0.5 as a stand-alone, so that takes the score to 4/10. The bacon was raw, so another point off.

 

3/10. Fuming. Weekend ruined 

[Bjornebye]

3 hours ago, Bruce Spanner said:

‘What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?’ was the question posed.

 

This, does not, none of it in any way answer that.

 

Horror show.

Why ruin it with beans you fucking heathen and them eggs look like Sonia Jackson’s tits 

5 minutes ago, Bruce Spanner said:

Take two, and much better...

 

 

 

And yes, yes that is a mimosa, because I’m a classy bitch.

Hahahahahahahahaha 

2 minutes ago, belarus said:

Got inspired by this thread so ordered a late breakfast. 
 

£6.80 all in - one of everything. If already eaten so was just after the taste really.

 

There was bacon, but when I opened the box it stood up, walked itself over to the oven and got in to introduce itself to its first ever interaction with heat.

 

First bite on the sausage yielded a lump of hard gristle. Straight to the dog that went.

 

Once the bacon was done it complemented the rest to being average - 6/10. The sausage was fucking filth though and was a 0.5 as a stand-alone, so that takes the score to 4/10. The bacon was raw, so another point off.

 

3/10. Fuming. Weekend ruined 

You dirty cunt 

[Trumo]

16 hours ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

I couldn’t remember but my missus reckons smoked. Think that’s the only cooking it got along the way though.

 

the happy girl got happier later too. Only reason we went there was her footy team was playing out that way later on. They won 10-0 and she scored her first ever goal.

 

 

The Echo will be writing an article about she can save us millions.

[YorkshireRed]

1 hour ago, belarus said:

Weekend ruined 

I’m afraid it will take far longer than the weekend to get over that atrocity. You’re in for some hard yards so try not to do them all alone. Reach out and get the help you need. 

[Curly]

Just now, YorkshireRed said:

I’m afraid it will take far longer than the weekend to get over that atrocity. You’re in for some hard yards so try not to do them all alone. Reach out and get the help you need. 

That gristle...

[Bob]

1 hour ago, belarus said:

Got inspired by this thread so ordered a late breakfast. 
 

£6.80 all in - one of everything. I’d already eaten so was just after the taste really.

 

There was bacon, but when I opened the box it stood up, walked itself over to the oven and got in to introduce itself to its first ever interaction with heat.

 

First bite on the sausage yielded a lump of hard gristle. Straight to the dog that went.

 

Once the bacon was done it complemented the rest to being average - 6/10. The sausage was fucking filth though and was a 0.5 as a stand-alone, so that takes the score to 4/10. The bacon was raw, so another point off.

 

3/10. Fuming. Weekend ruined 

That’s as bad as anything I remember seeing on here. The airport breakfast in South Africa someone posted (or I dreamt) would maybe be it’s only challenger.

 

it would have to be the best bit of bacon in the world (after you cooked it) for tge average score of the rest to be dragged anywhere near the 6/10 you gave it. 
 

that’s remarkably bad, and on a bank holiday weekend too. I’m gutted for you.

[Bob]

1 hour ago, Bruce Spanner said:

Take two, and much better...

 

 

 

And yes, yes that is a mimosa, because I’m a classy bitch.

Go on then, what have you got, how much, where? 
 

looks nice but I’d like the details.

[Bruce Spanner]

4 minutes ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

Go on then, what have you got, how much, where? 
 

looks nice but I’d like the details.

Steak and Eggs, with a sweet potato rosti.

 

Evelyns, Manchester. £13, from memory.

 

Glorious stuff. 

[Bjornebye]

@belarus the tension is too much mate, what are you in for? 

[Evelyn Tentions]

6 hours ago, lifetime fan said:

Is that cigarette ash in the tea? 

Looks more like fungal growth