What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[Harry's Lad]

My brekkie this morning. 

No tomato because I don't like grilled tomatoes,

No mushrooms because I don't like them either and no black pudding because it's fucking vile.

Two slices of toast cut in half so you can make a sausage and bacon butty out of them, not cut the poncey diagonal way, on a different plate but out of shot and a mug of freshly filtered coffee also out of shot.

The bacon is lightly smoked and the sausages are coarse cut pork and the hash browns are lovely and crispy but soft in the middle. 

By courtesy of my Missus.

Lovely.

 

[Bjornebye]

Ruined with half a plate of devil winnits 

[Numero Veinticinco]

7 minutes ago, Harry's Lad said:

My brekkie this morning. 

No tomato because I don't like grilled tomatoes,

No mushrooms because I don't like them either and no black pudding because it's fucking vile.

Two slices of toast cut in half so you can make a sausage and bacon butty out of them, not cut the poncey diagonal way, on a different plate but out of shot and a mug of freshly filtered coffee also out of shot.

The bacon is lightly smoked and the sausages are coarse cut pork and the hash browns are lovely and crispy but soft in the middle. 

By courtesy of my Missus.

Lovely.

 

I’d have repped you if it wasn’t for the quite uncouth jab at triangle toast. Lovely looking breakfast though. Cooked properly. 

[Harry's Lad]

4 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Ruined with half a plate of devil winnits 

Sorry Mate, pro beaner.

[Harry's Lad]

14 minutes ago, Nummer Neunzehn said:

I’d have repped you if it wasn’t for the quite uncouth jab at triangle toast. Lovely looking breakfast though. Cooked properly. 

Aye, she's a bloody good cook my Missus.

Good job really because I'd ruin a bowl of cornflakes. 

[mgw100]

That breakfast shows that if you get the bacon, sausage and egg right, you can forgive a lot. I mean, the omissions are still heartbreaking, as is the 3 x hash brown, but it remains more that appetising.

[Bjornebye]

48 minutes ago, Harry's Lad said:

Sorry Mate, pro beaner.

Its not me you need to apologise to mate its GOD 

[Numero Veinticinco]

7 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Its not me you need to apologise to mate its GOD 

Negged. No FF on the GF. 

[YorkshireRed]

1 hour ago, Harry's Lad said:

My brekkie this morning. 

No tomato because I don't like grilled tomatoes,

No mushrooms because I don't like them either and no black pudding because it's fucking vile.

Two slices of toast cut in half so you can make a sausage and bacon butty out of them, not cut the poncey diagonal way, on a different plate but out of shot and a mug of freshly filtered coffee also out of shot.

The bacon is lightly smoked and the sausages are coarse cut pork and the hash browns are lovely and crispy but soft in the middle. 

By courtesy of my Missus.

Lovely.

 

Three hash browns and only two sausages is hard to get behind. Seems a peculiar ratio. I suspect there’s a subliminal message message in there somewhere. That moment in every relationship where your partner sees you more as a fluffy potato than processed meat may well be closer than you think. 
 

Other than that, decent breakfast. Well cooked Mrs Harry’s Lad. 

[Bjornebye]

Negged for not actually negging me despite me deserving one there 

[Numero Veinticinco]

Just now, Bjornebye said:

Negged for not actually negging me despite me deserving one there 

I’m tellin’ 

[PestiRed]

1 hour ago, Harry's Lad said:

My brekkie this morning. 

No tomato because I don't like grilled tomatoes,

No mushrooms because I don't like them either and no black pudding because it's fucking vile.

Two slices of toast cut in half so you can make a sausage and bacon butty out of them, not cut the poncey diagonal way, on a different plate but out of shot and a mug of freshly filtered coffee also out of shot.

The bacon is lightly smoked and the sausages are coarse cut pork and the hash browns are lovely and crispy but soft in the middle. 

By courtesy of my Missus.

Lovely.

 

I weep for the future of the human race when I see shit like this

[Harry's Lad]

8 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

Three hash browns and only two sausages is hard to get behind. Seems a peculiar ratio. I suspect there’s a subliminal message message in there somewhere. That moment in every relationship where your partner sees you more as a fluffy potato than processed meat may well be closer than you think. 
 

Other than that, decent breakfast. Well cooked Mrs Harry’s Lad. 

When she asked me how many hash browns, I told her 3 because I'm a fat bastard.

No subliminal message.

[Carvalho Diablo]

On 08/10/2020 at 19:38, lifetime fan said:

Never tried dogs sausage. What’s it like? 

Lifey invoking the Silverlining / Stronts wars of yesteryear.

[Carvalho Diablo]

On 08/10/2020 at 19:38, lifetime fan said:

Never tried dogs sausage. What’s it like? 

Lifey invoking the Silverlining / Stronts wars of yesteryear.

[Anubis]

Plate full of rat pellets in runny tomato sauce.

[TheHowieLama]

4 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

Negged for not actually negging me despite me deserving one there 

Repped for the reverse neg beg.

[Bjornebye]

8 minutes ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

The full English in the Premier Inn is £8.99 and the kids eat free so it’s basically £3 each. We are treating ourselves to 1 night a week in a hotel because we don’t have a bathroom whilst this fucking building work carries on interminably. 

Wait till the lawsuit comes through 

[Mudface]

29 minutes ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

The full English in the Premier Inn is £8.99 and the kids eat free so it’s basically £3 each. We are treating ourselves to 1 night a week in a hotel because we don’t have a bathroom whilst this fucking building work carries on interminably. 

I think I'd rather stay at home and shit in a bucket than have to endure a weekly Premier Inn breakfast.

[Evelyn Tentions]

7 hours ago, Harry's Lad said:

My brekkie this morning. 

No tomato because I don't like grilled tomatoes,

No mushrooms because I don't like them either and no black pudding because it's fucking vile.

Two slices of toast cut in half so you can make a sausage and bacon butty out of them, not cut the poncey diagonal way, on a different plate but out of shot and a mug of freshly filtered coffee also out of shot.

The bacon is lightly smoked and the sausages are coarse cut pork and the hash browns are lovely and crispy but soft in the middle. 

By courtesy of my Missus.

Lovely.

 

Beans and hash browns.

No tomato, mushrooms or the greatest omission of all, no black pudding.

Closer to a full American than a full English

[Curly]

On 08/10/2020 at 11:24, Karl_b said:

Yesterday's effort was from Tilly's of Castelon, in the Peak District.

 

All pork products were sourced form a local farm:

 

2 x superb quality sausages (one hiding under the egg)

2 x well cooked, thick, smoked bacon

1 x perfectly cooked fried egg

1 x moist, delicious black pudding

Well grilled tomato

Mushrooms - good (hidden under the egg)

Beans - superb, naturally

Toast - cut in to triangles, pre-buttered

It also came with potatoes (again under the egg) which had obviously been fried in the bacon fat, I wouldn't choose them but they were tasty

 

A little on the expensive side - £14 (an extra £1 for the black pudding, £1 extra for a sasuage for dog, plus coffee and an orange juice) but absolutely excellent quality.

 

9/10, as good a fry-up as I've had in a long, long time.

 

Oh, good lord! That looks the bee’s knees that mate. Event the green shite gets a pass

[Curly]

9 hours ago, Harry's Lad said:

My brekkie this morning. 

No tomato because I don't like grilled tomatoes,

No mushrooms because I don't like them either and no black pudding because it's fucking vile.

Two slices of toast cut in half so you can make a sausage and bacon butty out of them, not cut the poncey diagonal way, on a different plate but out of shot and a mug of freshly filtered coffee also out of shot.

The bacon is lightly smoked and the sausages are coarse cut pork and the hash browns are lovely and crispy but soft in the middle. 

By courtesy of my Missus.

Lovely.

 

It looks like I’d enjoy it at the time, but the 3 shite oven hash browns would leave me feeling horrible after it. 
 

It’s not a breakfast either - it’s a quick dinner or last minute tea.

[Tony Moanero]

9 hours ago, Harry's Lad said:

My brekkie this morning. 

No tomato because I don't like grilled tomatoes,

No mushrooms because I don't like them either and no black pudding because it's fucking vile.

Two slices of toast cut in half so you can make a sausage and bacon butty out of them, not cut the poncey diagonal way, on a different plate but out of shot and a mug of freshly filtered coffee also out of shot.

The bacon is lightly smoked and the sausages are coarse cut pork and the hash browns are lovely and crispy but soft in the middle. 

By courtesy of my Missus.

Lovely.

 

Four slices of bread and butter, please. I’m having a sausage butty and a bacon and egg butty. You can throw the beans and hashbrowns in the bin.

[Barrington Womble]

2 hours ago, Mudface said:

I think I'd rather stay at home and shit in a bucket than have to endure a weekly Premier Inn breakfast.

Doesn't that depend on the premier Inn because they don't always cook it depends on who they're attached to? I've had some terrible breakfasts at premier inns, but I've had some half decent ones too, strangely mostly when it's been a buffet. 

[Remmie]

12 hours ago, Harry's Lad said:

My brekkie this morning. 

No tomato because I don't like grilled tomatoes,

No mushrooms because I don't like them either and no black pudding because it's fucking vile.

Two slices of toast cut in half so you can make a sausage and bacon butty out of them, not cut the poncey diagonal way, on a different plate but out of shot and a mug of freshly filtered coffee also out of shot.

The bacon is lightly smoked and the sausages are coarse cut pork and the hash browns are lovely and crispy but soft in the middle. 

By courtesy of my Missus.

Lovely.

 

Did she really need to deep fry the eggs. Hash browns and 3 tins of beans is a cunt's trick. 

 

Most upsetting though is the lack of keys, conker, toast and tea in shot.