What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[General Dryness]

3 hours ago, viRdjil said:

Venue: Earlston House, Paignton

Price: n/a, included.

Ingredients: See below. I went Regular on Saturday and Small with black pudding on Sunday.

Verdict: Very good. Very different to those I posted last weekend; less sleek more hearty and rustic. Real thick juicy sausage, greasy and crispy bacon, homemade hash brown. I really enjoyed it both times. Worth staying there for the fry-up alone.

 

AIDS on a plate. Never mind included, I'd be asking for a discount on my room bill for this shit show.

[General Dryness]

Just noticed the note about fish at the bottom of the menu. What cunt has fish for breakfast? Unless its kippers in which case they should specify. 

[polymerpunkah]

33 minutes ago, Elite said:

To be fair they do have a choice of portion sizes, which means you can have twice the shit on your plate if you feel so inclined.

Yes, sometimes less is more.

[Pureblood]

5 hours ago, viRdjil said:

Venue: Earlston House, Paignton

Price: n/a, included.

Ingredients: See below. I went Regular on Saturday and Small with black pudding on Sunday.

Verdict: Very good. Very different to those I posted last weekend; less sleek more hearty and rustic. Real thick juicy sausage, greasy and crispy bacon, homemade hash brown. I really enjoyed it both times. Worth staying there for the fry-up alone.

 

Save Ferris.

[Bjornebye]

1 hour ago, General Dryness said:

Just noticed the note about fish at the bottom of the menu. What cunt has fish for breakfast? Unless its kippers in which case they should specify. 

Yeah I noticed that. Judging by the plate they are probably frozen prawns that they mix in with the beans. 

[Pureblood]

The beans on Sunday's breakfast are a damning indictment on the state of this country. 

[Oh Buoy]

As the Designated Egg Champion of TLW, I am disgusted at those eggs. 

[aRdja]

The eggs were done to my request. Just how I like them.

[Fugitive]

19 minutes ago, viRdjil said:

The eggs were done to my request. Just how I like them.

“How would you like your eggs done?”

“as fucking shit as is humanly possible”

 

[Bjornebye]

1 hour ago, viRdjil said:

The eggs were done to my request. Just how I like them.

Stabbed ? 

[Jairzinho]

It looks like they asked how you wanted the eggs and sausage and then did it the other way round.

 

 

[El Rojo]

18 hours ago, viRdjil said:

 Real thick juicy sausage

Post reported.

[Captain Turdseye]

I’m on a proper mad one, having it fucking large at Flamingo Land at the moment. Saw a sea lion show and some talking parrots yesterday. Mental. Should have seen me living my best life on the Runaway Mine Train as well. I’m mad, me. 

 

Got a table booked at their diner thing for tomorrow morning where I’ll be sampling the ‘Full American.’ I reckon it’s got 3/10 or 4/10 potential but I will be in a rush to beat the queue for the monorail. Watch this space. 

[General Dryness]

2 hours ago, viRdjil said:

The eggs were done to my request. Just how I like them.

"How would you like your eggs done?"

"Just however Jimmy Savile had his."

[Elite]

1 minute ago, General Dryness said:

"How would you like your eggs done?"

"Just however Jimmy Savile fucked his."

 

[General Dryness]

32 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

I’m on a proper mad one, having it fucking large at Flamingo Land at the moment. Saw a sea lion show and some talking parrots yesterday. Mental. Should have seen me living my best life on the Runaway Mine Train as well. I’m mad, me. 

 

Got a table booked at their diner thing for tomorrow morning where I’ll be sampling the ‘Full American.’ I reckon it’s got 3/10 or 4/10 potential but I will be in a rush to beat the queue for the monorail. Watch this space. 

Full American? Fucking hell, along with streaky bacon and scrambled egg with veg in it, I bet it'll have really poor quality steak on it. And little roast potatoes, but they'll call them "jimmy joe jimbob homefries" or something equally shit.

 

I'd advise you to put a bog roll in the fridge before you go out. And don't make any sudden movements before your arse is on the bog seat.

[Elite]

Full American is probably stir fried sugar.

[Dougie Do'ins]

Tough crowd in here lately. Bit like most of what I was served up on Sunday.

[Bjornebye]

30 minutes ago, Dougie Do'ins said:

Tough crowd in here lately. Bit like most of what I was served up on Sunday.

Its taking its toll to be fair. Blame aRdja 

[Bob]

If all those ingredients were cooked properly, it would be a belter.

 

those eggs though? Christ.

 

everything else looks under done to me, especially the sausage and mushrooms.

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

On 19/08/2019 at 20:56, General Dryness said:

AIDS on a plate. Never mind included, I'd be asking for a discount on my room bill for this shit show.

I would get both of those ‘ breakfasts ‘ on two rounds of bread. Us blue collar men require bulk.

[Captain Turdseye]

The Diner, Flamingo Land. 

£7.95

’The Full American’

 

2, erm, Cumberland sausages 

2, erm, Danish bacon 

Fried egg

Mushrooms

Beans

Hash brown bites

1 piece of toast

1 mini American flag on a cocktail stick

 

 

The flag, the frozen hash browns and the waiter with the pretend accent are presumably what makes this breakfast an American. A cup of the finest US Yorkshire tea cost an extra £2.25.  

 

The sausages and bacon were alright and worthy of a point each. Unfortunately they were also the only thing on the plate that was hot. The other ingredients weren’t the worst in the world but they get no points because they were all either lukewarm or stone cold. And that’s the bottom line. 

 

2/10. 

[Bjornebye]

Is that bean juice on the Orange Juice glass? 

 

Never heard of invisible tea before 

 

Half cooked toast with hard butter you have to speared yourself 

 

They look like Maccies chicken nuggets not hash browns

 

The egg is rightly trying to make a run for it 

 

Have they wiped their arse with the bacon?

 

Yes after dropping off them two turds in the middle

 

The mushrooms look depressed but who wouldn't when two shits are sat on you

 

Bean aids. 

 

And that fucking flag. If you served that to an american he would throw it at you. 

 

I hope the flamingos attack you. 

 

 

[Spy Bee]

22 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

 

 

 

 

Trump's efforts to claim the Danish fucked up again I see!

[TheHowieLama]

Wait -- are you in America?