What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[Bjornebye]

10 minutes ago, Numero Veinticinco said:

And that keen fucking warr shite. Seriously, who eats quinoa? Birds, that’s who. 

The fuck is warr? 

[TheHowieLama]

And what is it good for?

[Bjornebye]

1 minute ago, TheHowieLama said:

And what is it good for?

Absolutely fuck all 

[Mook]

Say it again y'all.

[Strontium]

11 hours ago, Numero Veinticinco said:

And that keen fucking warr shite. Seriously, who eats quinoa? Birds, that’s who. 

 

No they don't, because in its natural state, the state in which birds would encounter it, quinoa has a bitter coating which puts them right off.

[Numero Veinticinco]

Just now, Sixtimes Dog said:

No they don't, because in its natural state, the state in which birds would encounter it, quinoa has a bitter coating which puts them right off.

Fucking hell. 

 

I meant women. 

[Strontium]

1 minute ago, Numero Veinticinco said:

Fucking hell. 

 

I meant women. 

 

That makes more sense. Continue.

[Barrington Womble]

I am currently sitting in some place called the breakfast club near Bishopsgate in London. I've heard loads of people talk about this being a fine breakfast. I'm not paying, so don't care too much about price, but it looks expensive. This part of London is dead on a weekend and this place is rammed, so i should expect great things as people must be travelling in just for this. Somehow my expectations are not high though. Update to follow. 

[Mudface]

These need to be live streamed.

[Captain Turdseye]

[Barrington Womble]

So 1st of all we'll start on price. £15 for the breakfast plus 2 coffees. Then the cheeky cunts put on a 12.5% service charge. 

 

Onto the breakfast itself. I chose the "full monty" which is what you see, but I took out fungus and they offered me a hash brown in return. It was 1 toast, 2 eggs, 2 bacon, 1 sausage, 1 black pudding, those home fries they have in America, the hash brown, half a tomato and beans. 

 

Quality.... For the bad first ... Not enough butter for the toast. And the toast was brown, for me a fry up has to come with white toast, but it was decent enough. The bacon was nice, but there was loads and loads of that white shite that comes out of bacon. The home fries were not really like ones I've had in the states, they were much drier. They tasted good (a kind of Southern fried seasoning on there), but it was too much and too dry. Onto the good. The sausage and black pudding were fucking great, almost worth coming for that alone. These items are important for me on a breakie. And the beans were suppose to be Heinz, but tasted 10 times better than any Heinz beans I've had before. I can take or leave beans on a breakfast, but if I came back here they'd be a must, maybe even for you bean haters. 

 

Overall I really enjoyed it. If I picked the ingredients I'd double the sausage and black pud and half the home fries. That might get it a 10/10. Oh with some white toast. 

 

All in all, taste 8.5/10, value 6.5/10 (fucking 17 quid?!). I would go back providing like today I wasn't paying.  

[Jose Jones]

Bacon looks dodge, should be two sausages, keep the mushrooms, and a fucking butter sachet? Jesus Christ.

Did the place advertise they were serving Heinz beans? What a piss take.

 

Otherwise looks Ok, ardja price notwithstanding.

[Pureblood]

I can see why Londoners make the journey for this wonderful meal. 

[Karl_b]

1 hour ago, Barry Wom said:

So 1st of all we'll start on price. £15 for the breakfast plus 2 coffees. Then the cheeky cunts put on a 12.5% service charge. 

 

Onto the breakfast itself. I chose the "full monty" which is what you see, but I took out fungus and they offered me a hash brown in return. It was 1 toast, 2 eggs, 2 bacon, 1 sausage, 1 black pudding, those home fries they have in America, the hash brown, half a tomato and beans. 

 

Quality.... For the bad first ... Not enough butter for the toast. And the toast was brown, for me a fry up has to come with white toast, but it was decent enough. The bacon was nice, but there was loads and loads of that white shite that comes out of bacon. The home fries were not really like ones I've had in the states, they were much drier. They tasted good (a kind of Southern fried seasoning on there), but it was too much and too dry. Onto the good. The sausage and black pudding were fucking great, almost worth coming for that alone. These items are important for me on a breakie. And the beans were suppose to be Heinz, but tasted 10 times better than any Heinz beans I've had before. I can take or leave beans on a breakfast, but if I came back here they'd be a must, maybe even for you bean haters. 

 

Overall I really enjoyed it. If I picked the ingredients I'd double the sausage and black pud and half the home fries. That might get it a 10/10. Oh with some white toast. 

 

All in all, taste 8.5/10, value 6.5/10 (fucking 17 quid?!). I would go back providing like today I wasn't paying.  

We went to their cafe in Islington a couple of years ago, pretty much agree with your review but recall better bacon. 

[Mook]

1 hour ago, Barry Wom said:

So 1st of all we'll start on price. £15 for the breakfast plus 2 coffees. Then the cheeky cunts put on a 12.5% service charge. 

 

Onto the breakfast itself. I chose the "full monty" which is what you see, but I took out fungus and they offered me a hash brown in return. It was 1 toast, 2 eggs, 2 bacon, 1 sausage, 1 black pudding, those home fries they have in America, the hash brown, half a tomato and beans. 

 

Quality.... For the bad first ... Not enough butter for the toast. And the toast was brown, for me a fry up has to come with white toast, but it was decent enough. The bacon was nice, but there was loads and loads of that white shite that comes out of bacon. The home fries were not really like ones I've had in the states, they were much drier. They tasted good (a kind of Southern fried seasoning on there), but it was too much and too dry. Onto the good. The sausage and black pudding were fucking great, almost worth coming for that alone. These items are important for me on a breakie. And the beans were suppose to be Heinz, but tasted 10 times better than any Heinz beans I've had before. I can take or leave beans on a breakfast, but if I came back here they'd be a must, maybe even for you bean haters. 

 

Overall I really enjoyed it. If I picked the ingredients I'd double the sausage and black pud and half the home fries. That might get it a 10/10. Oh with some white toast. 

 

All in all, taste 8.5/10, value 6.5/10 (fucking 17 quid?!). I would go back providing like today I wasn't paying.  

Repped for getting rid of the fungus.

[Pureblood]

9 minutes ago, Karl_b said:

We went to their cafe in Islington a couple of years ago, pretty much agree with your review but recall better bacon. 

OMG it's a chain?  I hate them.

[Chip Butty]

To embrace the thread title - roast fucking potatoes do not, will not, shall not and can not, form any part of a cooked breakfast and be considered and constitute, anything more than a cockney slag morning after the night before, jiz sponge gargle bag.  

[Tony Moanero]

Never heard of home fries. They look like roast potatoes. I love potatoes but don’t eat them for breakfast.

[Barrington Womble]

31 minutes ago, Tony Moanero said:

Never heard of home fries. They look like roast potatoes. I love potatoes but don’t eat them for breakfast.

I think in America, it's potatoes and onions cooked in a frying pan for hours. These were like roast potatoes, but not as good. 

 

https://www.thekitchn.com/how-to-make-diner-style-home-fries-230152

[Barrington Womble]

1 hour ago, Karl_b said:

We went to their cafe in Islington a couple of years ago, pretty much agree with your review but recall better bacon. 

I didn't realise they were a chain, this was the only one I knew about. 

58 minutes ago, TK421 said:

OMG it's a chain?  I hate them.

It didn't feel much like a chain, just a typical London hipster type of place. Way too many beards and tattoos. 

[Pureblood]

1 minute ago, Barry Wom said:

I didn't realise they were a chain, this was the only one I knew about. 

It didn't feel much like a chain, just a typical London hipster type of place. Way too many beards and tattoos. 

They have 11 cafes and 5 cocktail bars in the South East according to their website.

 

https://thebreakfastclubcafes.com

 

[Fugitive]

2 hours ago, Barry Wom said:

So 1st of all we'll start on price. £15 for the breakfast plus 2 coffees. Then the cheeky cunts put on a 12.5% service charge. 

 

Onto the breakfast itself. I chose the "full monty" which is what you see, but I took out fungus and they offered me a hash brown in return. It was 1 toast, 2 eggs, 2 bacon, 1 sausage, 1 black pudding, those home fries they have in America, the hash brown, half a tomato and beans. 

 

Quality.... For the bad first ... Not enough butter for the toast. And the toast was brown, for me a fry up has to come with white toast, but it was decent enough. The bacon was nice, but there was loads and loads of that white shite that comes out of bacon. The home fries were not really like ones I've had in the states, they were much drier. They tasted good (a kind of Southern fried seasoning on there), but it was too much and too dry. Onto the good. The sausage and black pudding were fucking great, almost worth coming for that alone. These items are important for me on a breakie. And the beans were suppose to be Heinz, but tasted 10 times better than any Heinz beans I've had before. I can take or leave beans on a breakfast, but if I came back here they'd be a must, maybe even for you bean haters. 

 

Overall I really enjoyed it. If I picked the ingredients I'd double the sausage and black pud and half the home fries. That might get it a 10/10. Oh with some white toast. 

 

All in all, taste 8.5/10, value 6.5/10 (fucking 17 quid?!). I would go back providing like today I wasn't paying.  

Roast potatoes, cold bread, raw bacon, one sausage, beans.... £17!!!

 

They obviously thought you were a dickhead when you walked in.

 

I hope you hanging about outside until they close so you can twats the cheeky cunts.

[Barrington Womble]

1 hour ago, Fugitive said:

Roast potatoes, cold bread, raw bacon, one sausage, beans.... £17!!!

 

They obviously thought you were a dickhead when you walked in.

 

I hope you hanging about outside until they close so you can twats the cheeky cunts.

The picture is weird for the toast as it even looks white bread, but it was toasted well. The one sausage was a gutter. Although I'd sooner one of them than 2 chippy style sausage you get in a lot of greasy spoons. The beans were fucking winners to be fair. 

[Tony Moanero]

1 hour ago, Barry Wom said:

The picture is weird for the toast as it even looks white bread, but it was toasted well. The one sausage was a gutter. Although I'd sooner one of them than 2 chippy style sausage you get in a lot of greasy spoons. The beans were fucking winners to be fair. 

Repped for the sausage comment, but should have negged beans one.

[Red Phoenix]

Current fave : quorn sausages, beans, mushrooms and a slice of toast. Add mayo as well.

 

I'm sure that's going to go down well in here, had it earlier though for the first time in a while and really enjoyed it.