What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[Nunavut Patrick]

3 hours ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

I’m seriously hungover, so forgive me eating it on my lap like and animal, while I listen to Prof Brian Cox tell me about how amaaaazing planets are.

 

My other half made me this.

 

Obviously, she has fucked the egg beyond belief, but otherwise, terrific.

 

 

Amazing how she presented the egg as a pizza slice. Black pudding looks ace. Beans need containment. 

[Guest Pistonbroke]

If you like beans then they are best on the plate, Ramekins are for fucking baking shit in like Soufflee. You didn't have portions served separately in a Ramekin back in the day, unless you were a weirdo.  

[Pureblood]

If that breakfast was a woman she'd have a cracking set of tits (sausages), a perfectly formed juicy cunt (bacon), nice proportionally sized ears (black pud/'shrooms) and a fine head of hair (toast).  Unfortunately she'd be fucking ugly (egg) and have a fat, shitty, wrecked-beyond-use arse covered in external haemorrhoids (beans).  

 

6/10

[Bob]

6 minutes ago, Pistonbroke said:

If you like beans then they are best on the plate, Ramekins are for fucking baking shit in like Soufflee. You didn't have portions served separately in a Ramekin back in the day, unless you were a weirdo.  

Couldn’t be truer.

[Bob]

2 minutes ago, TK421 said:

If that breakfast was a woman she'd have a cracking set of tits (sausages), a perfectly formed juicy cunt (bacon), nice proportionally sized ears (black pud/'shrooms) and a fine head of hair (toast).  Unfortunately she'd be fucking ugly (egg) and have a fat, shitty, wrecked-beyond-use arse covered in external haemorrhoids (beans).  

 

6/10

Can that woman you’ve described cook a decent fried egg?

[Pureblood]

I have my doubts, Bob.

[Chip Butty]

Was it the egg that took the chip out of the plate?

[Guest Pistonbroke]

22 minutes ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

Couldn’t be truer.

Yeah, imagine saying to your mother back in the 60's and 70's. 'Hey Mother, where's my Ramekin for the beans.' She'd have twisted your ear, thrown the plate in the bin and docked your pocket money. 

[Remmie]

12 minutes ago, Pistonbroke said:

Yeah, imagine saying to your mother back in the 60's and 70's. 'Hey Mother, where's my Ramekin for the beans.' She'd have twisted your ear, thrown the plate in the bin and docked your pocket money. 

But that would be nothing to do with the Ramekins, it'd be purely for being a bean wielding shithouse

[Guest Pistonbroke]

26 minutes ago, Remmie said:

But that would be nothing to do with the Ramekins, it'd be purely for being a bean wielding shithouse

Nah, beans are fine on a fry up or in a Sheppard's Pie. Not too keen on having them by themselves on toast though. 

[Pureblood]

9 minutes ago, Pistonbroke said:

Nah, beans are fine... in a Sheppard's Pie.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Believe me, I've been doing it since the 90's. All about personal preferences though, for me beans are fine. I had to chuckle when a certain firm advertised it as their great idea not that long ago. 

[Pureblood]

12 minutes ago, Pistonbroke said:

Believe me, I've been doing it since the 90's. All about personal preferences though, for me beans are fine. I had to chuckle when a certain firm advertised it as their great idea not that long ago. 

I have a zero tolerance policy on mixing bean sauce with mince.  

[Guest Pistonbroke]

1 minute ago, TK421 said:

I have a zero tolerance policy on mixing bean sauce with mince.  

I like it, adds to the taste. Especially when you use those smoked BBQ beans. 

[TheHowieLama]

Herein lies the problem -- the kid fiddlers have made everyone think beans are baked out of a can.

 

They are not -- hummus, black beans and rice, chili, re-fried, falafel -- all are proper use (and type) of beans and piss on baked from a very high place.

 

[Guest Pistonbroke]

4 minutes ago, TheHowieLama said:

Herein lies the problem -- the kid fiddlers have made everyone think beans are baked out of a can.

 

They are not -- hummus, black beans and rice, chili, re-fried, falafel -- all are proper use (and type) of beans and piss on baked from a very high place.

 

 

I often make my own beans, not exactly hard. Canned beans are fine if you are looking for convenience, if you want taste then make your own. 

[Evelyn Tentions]

2 hours ago, Pistonbroke said:

If you like beans then they are best on the plate, Ramekins are for fucking baking shit in like Soufflee. You didn't have portions served separately in a Ramekin back in the day, unless you were a weirdo.  

Back in the day the fucking things stayed in the tin.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

1 minute ago, Evelyn Tentions said:

Back in the day the fucking things stayed in the tin.

Also true, the days where canned food wasn't really used that much as people had more time to cook with fresh ingredients. Plus having a Garden/allotment full of the stuff was the norm up North. 

[Tony Moanero]

1 hour ago, Pistonbroke said:

Nah, beans are fine in a Sheppard's Pie.

 

[Fugitive]

Beans on or in anything is fucking scum.

 

I bet you wear Lonsdale and eat spam out the tin for a posh dinner.

[aRdja]

Venue: Balans Soho Society, Soho

Price: £11 + £2 + £1.50 = £14.50

1 x Cumberland Sausage

3 x Bacon

2 x Eggs (over easy)

1 X Roast tomato

2 X Shrooms

Roast spuds

3 x Thin slices of black pudding (+£2)

Beans (+£1.50)

1 x toast

 

Verdict: Real good, real tasty plate. Definitely not the best value for money, but I enjoyed it.

 

[Tony Moanero]

7 minutes ago, viRdjil said:

Venue: Balans Soho Society, Soho

Price: £11 + £2 + £1.50 = £14.50

1 x Cumberland Sausage

3 x Bacon

2 x Eggs (over easy)

1 X Roast tomato

2 X Shrooms

Roast spuds

3 x Thin slices of black pudding (+£2)

Beans (+£1.50)

1 x toast

 

Verdict: Real good, real tasty plate. Definitely not the best value for money, but I enjoyed it.

 

Has to be one of the worse plates of food you’ve posted in this thread.

[mattyq]

£14.50?!

Were the sausages made out of gold or shit from the arse of the Golden Goose?

 

 

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Looks poor, especially at that price. Plus beans in a fucking separate bowl now. 

[aRdja]

16 minutes ago, mattyq said:

£14.50?!

Were the sausages made out of gold or shit from the arse of the Golden Goose?

 

 

Cumberland.