What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[Captain Willard]

On 14/07/2022 at 13:39, lifetime fan said:

Eastgate Brasserie Tavistock. 
 

All high quality local meat ingredients. The sausages were amazing, the bacon was good quality but the fat needed to be more crispy, black pudding beautiful, eggs - well I didn’t eat them but they were cooked on too high a heat, mushrooms looked like they’d been chopped up by Stevie Wonder and looked like they needed a bit

more cooking, tomatoes were good but I’d like them more well done, beans were fucking volcanic and obviously done in the microwave, toast was a lovely farmhouse bloomer thick cut. 
 

Solid breakfast that with just a few small tweaks could have been excellent. 
 

Biggest fucking issue was the cost! 
 

£10.50 for the West Country breakfast. 
£1.50 extra each for black pudding and hash browns. 
£1.95 for a pot of tea. 
 

£15.45 for a breakfast with tea is obscene even if top quality ingredients. 
 

 

Looks lovely but the cut of that toast though. Very fucking annoying. 

[Evelyn Tentions]

9 hours ago, Captain Willard said:

Looks lovely but the cut of that toast though. Very fucking annoying. 

We have a toast cut on the diagonal deviant amongst us. Triangles cannot be used to make bacon butties or sausage sarnies properly. Chip butties made with triangles are a crime against the natural order of things.

The things they do down South, saints preserve us.

[Captain Willard]

9 hours ago, Evelyn Tentions said:

We have a toast cut on the diagonal deviant amongst us. Triangles cannot be used to make bacon butties or sausage sarnies properly. Chip butties made with triangles are a crime against the natural order of things.

The things they do down South, saints preserve us.

Yes but that toast is not cut evenly, it’s about 2/3rd across the vertical. That’s what’s annoying. 

[Carvalho Diablo]

Who cuts toast?

[Bjornebye]

52 minutes ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

Who cuts toast?

You out a pea puree and jam on yours 

[Bjornebye]

I've seen it so you have to 

 

 

 

 

[Elite]

38 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

I've seen it so you have to 

 

 

 

 

Don't actually mind a bit of spam but peas has no place.

[Mudface]

 

 

[TheHowieLama]

54 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

I've seen it so you have to 

 

 

 

 

And now it cannot be unseen,

 

Thanks - prick.

[Bjornebye]

Just now, TheHowieLama said:

And now it cannot be unseen,

 

Thanks - prick.

I'm half sorry. 

[lifetime fan]

On 16/07/2022 at 13:22, Captain Willard said:

Yes but that toast is not cut evenly, it’s about 2/3rd across the vertical. That’s what’s annoying. 

No. It was cut in half. 
 

One half is then overhanging and covering part of the second half. 

[YorkshireRed]

Premier Inn, Ansty. Near Coventry. 
 

£9.99 all you can eat but I got it as part of a meal deal so it’s a bit cheaper. My canninesses knows no bounds.

 

The 154 year old chap who served me was very nice. I like the way he whistles while he works. This a man who enjoys his opportunity to provide a working man his morning beans.

 

7/10

 

 

[Pidge]

Guessing he was whistling the song from Kill Bill when he served up that shite.

[DalyanPete]

18 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

Premier Inn, Ansty. Near Coventry. 
 

£9.99 all you can eat but I got it as part of a meal deal so it’s a bit cheaper. My canninesses knows no bounds.

 

The 154 year old chap who served me was very nice. I like the way he whistles while he works. This a man who enjoys his opportunity to provide a working man his morning beans.

 

7/10

 

 

It just screams Premier inn. Consistent shite, no personality.

[KMD7]

29 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

Premier Inn, Ansty. Near Coventry. 
 

£9.99 all you can eat but I got it as part of a meal deal so it’s a bit cheaper. My canninesses knows no bounds.

 

The 154 year old chap who served me was very nice. I like the way he whistles while he works. This a man who enjoys his opportunity to provide a working man his morning beans.

 

7/10

 

 

Everything looks well cooked. I'd happily eat that. 

[Bobby Hundreds]

Never knew mushrooms on a breakfast was a thing or if I did I wiped my memory of it. 

 

I'm a believer in people obviously having different tastes we should accept that! what's the big deal.. but mushrooms on a breakfast frankly fucking disgusts me.

 

These days someone makes a traditional meal throws something irregular on it, takes a picture and gets their highest clicks. Humanity you're a shit show.

[Fugitive]

1 hour ago, Bobby Hundreds said:

Never knew mushrooms on a breakfast was a thing or if I did I wiped my memory of it. 

 

I'm a believer in people obviously having different tastes we should accept that! what's the big deal.. but mushrooms on a breakfast frankly fucking disgusts me.

 

These days someone makes a traditional meal throws something irregular on it, takes a picture and gets their highest clicks. Humanity you're a shit show.

Mushrooms have always been on a fry up. 

[Mook]

Mushrooms are absolutely fucking rancid.

 

What next, athletes foot on a Sunday Roast?

[Bjornebye]

If you look at that plate and the worst thing you can find to moan about is the mushrooms then it should be a straight to jail outcome. It’s how they snared Huntley in the end. 

[Dave D]

3 hours ago, YorkshireRed said:

Premier Inn, Ansty. Near Coventry. 
 

£9.99 all you can eat but I got it as part of a meal deal so it’s a bit cheaper. My canninesses knows no bounds.

 

The 154 year old chap who served me was very nice. I like the way he whistles while he works. This a man who enjoys his opportunity to provide a working man his morning beans.

 

7/10

 

 

7/10 is exceptionally generous.

 

Its looks perfectly fine but there has to be more than 3 levels of improvement on that showing   

[Strontium]

1 hour ago, Dave D said:

7/10 is exceptionally generous.

 

Its looks perfectly fine but there has to be more than 3 levels of improvement on that showing   

 

I like to think of breakfast rankings being on a sort of logarithmic scale, like earthquakes. So an 8 is ten times better than a 7.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

5 hours ago, YorkshireRed said:

Premier Inn, Ansty. Near Coventry. 
 

£9.99 all you can eat but I got it as part of a meal deal so it’s a bit cheaper. My canninesses knows no bounds.

 

The 154 year old chap who served me was very nice. I like the way he whistles while he works. This a man who enjoys his opportunity to provide a working man his morning beans.

 

7/10

 

 

It's basically a bowl of beans with a few other things added.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

4 hours ago, KMD7 said:

Everything looks well cooked. I'd happily eat that. 

I'd say the toast, black pudding and tomatoes are somewhat underdone.

[Anubis]

Eggs and bacon look ok but the rest of the breakfast kills the whole thing.

[Captain Willard]

7 hours ago, YorkshireRed said:

Premier Inn, Ansty. Near Coventry. 
 

£9.99 all you can eat but I got it as part of a meal deal so it’s a bit cheaper. My canninesses knows no bounds.

 

The 154 year old chap who served me was very nice. I like the way he whistles while he works. This a man who enjoys his opportunity to provide a working man his morning beans.

 

7/10

 

 

Looks nice apart from the beans. If it was all you can eat I’d have pushed it and gone for an extra sausage and toast. 6/10. Lose 2 for beans, 1 for no black pudding and 1 for not being assertive enough with the old bloke serving. You could have got an elusive 10 but you fucked it up. Only yourself to blame.