What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[Ezekiel 25:17]

1 minute ago, Remmie said:

Hash bastards are greasy flavourless dickheads who seem to have gegged in on English breakfasts recently without reprimand. IT'S AN OUTRAGE!

Anything made from potato is good, that's a scientific fact.

[Remmie]

1 minute ago, Ezekiel 25:17 said:

Anything made from potato is good, that's a scientific fact.

Those tater tot things Americans also created are similarly crap. 

[Spy Bee]

2 hours ago, Total Longo said:

I enjoyed this. I enjoyed this a lot.

How is this getting so much love? I'd be fuming if I was presented with this. Just by looking at it I can tell that it is completely insipid. Look at the fucking sausages. Straight Outta Farm Foods! It looks like an artists impression of a breakfast, rather than actual food. I look at it and just think 'cardboard'. No black pudding, no tomatoes, limp bacon, flaccid scrambled eggs, cooked from frozen hash browns. 

 

Mushrooms look alright. 

[Total Longo]

5 minutes ago, Spy Bee said:

How is this getting so much love? I'd be fuming if I was presented with this. Just by looking at it I can tell that it is completely insipid. Look at the fucking sausages. Straight Outta Farm Foods! It looks like an artists impression of a breakfast, rather than actual food. I look at it and just think 'cardboard'. No black pudding, no tomatoes, limp bacon, flaccid scrambled eggs, cooked from frozen hash browns. 

 

Mushrooms look alright. 

I look at you and just think "cardboard".

 

You eat overpriced breakfasts, wrapped in a tortilla, in Wrexham. You are in no position to knock anyone! 

[Bjornebye]

4 minutes ago, Spy Bee said:

How is this getting so much love? I'd be fuming if I was presented with this. Just by looking at it I can tell that it is completely insipid. Look at the fucking sausages. Straight Outta Farm Foods! It looks like an artists impression of a breakfast, rather than actual food. I look at it and just think 'cardboard'. No black pudding, no tomatoes, limp bacon, flaccid scrambled eggs, cooked from frozen hash browns. 

 

Mushrooms look alright. 

Yes but it's got no beans on it so he's not a raging nonce 

[Total Longo]

16 minutes ago, Remmie said:

Hash bastards are greasy flavourless dickheads who seem to have gegged in on English breakfasts recently without reprimand. IT'S AN OUTRAGE!

You are limited anyway given your meat free breakfasts, i would have thought a potato based addition in amongst the nonsense, would be like reaching Valhalla, for a vegetarian.  

[Bruce Spanner]

2 hours ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

This award winning brekky looks phenomenal, but only 1 sausage? Fuck off.

 

I lasted two seconds, the guys a prick.

[Tony Moanero]

16 minutes ago, Remmie said:

Hash bastards are greasy flavourless dickheads who seem to have gegged in on English breakfasts recently without reprimand. IT'S AN OUTRAGE!

An English cooked breakfast that has hash browns instead of tomatoes, makes me sad. I recently saw some Americans on Twitter waxing lyrical about the shitty things, one of them even had the bollocks to claim McDonald’s ones are the best around.

[Tony Moanero]

1 hour ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

Three hash browns is simply too much, and I’d make an argument 3 sausages is too.

Do you order from children’s menus, Bob?

[tokyojoe]

3 hours ago, Total Longo said:

I enjoyed this. I enjoyed this a lot.

Spot on. No fucking beans.

[Ezekiel 25:17]

1 hour ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

Three hash browns is simply too much, and I’d make an argument 3 sausages is too.

 

and you forgot the beans.

 

but, looks grand overall.

Hitler made an argument to kill all Jews, knock yourself out mate.

[Remmie]

47 minutes ago, Total Longo said:

You are limited anyway given your meat free breakfasts, i would have thought a potato based addition in amongst the nonsense, would be like reaching Valhalla, for a vegetarian.  

Exactly, so the inclusion of an incredibly mediocre, flavourless addition becoming more standard means it's very hard to get a veggie breakfast without the shitcunts. Tattie scones were boss when I had a Scotch breakfast, standardise those instead.

[Ezekiel 25:17]

2 minutes ago, Remmie said:

Exactly, so the inclusion of an incredibly mediocre, flavourless addition becoming more standard means it's very hard to get a veggie breakfast without the shitcunts. Tattie scones were boss when I had a Scotch breakfast, standardise those instead.

What's a tattie scone, is it a potato cake ?? if not do you like them ??

[Remmie]

8 minutes ago, Ezekiel 25:17 said:

What's a tattie scone, is it a potato cake ?? if not do you like them ??

Potato Scone though not sure if there is a distinction between the 2. I guess I have grilled potato cakes (and yes I liked them) whereas the scones were fried.

[Mudface]

You've only had too much sausage when your stomach ruptures.

 

(fnar)

[Ezekiel 25:17]

9 minutes ago, Remmie said:

Potato Scone though not sure if there is a distinction between the 2. I guess I have grilled potato cakes (and yes I liked them) whereas the scones were fried.

They sound the same and yeah they rule, I need an absolute vat of butter on them though.

[Pidge]

11 minutes ago, Mudface said:

You've only had too much sausage when your stomach ruptures.

 

(fnar)

Okay, Mr Hands.

[Mudface]

1 minute ago, Pidge said:

Okay, Mr Hands.

He dead now.

[Total Longo]

18 minutes ago, Ezekiel 25:17 said:

They sound the same and yeah they rule, I need an absolute vat of butter on them though.

The potato cakes quite literally need to be floating in a sea of melted butter. 

[Bob]

1 hour ago, Tony Moanero said:

Do you order from children’s menus, Bob?

Don’t get me wrong, Tone, I love a sausage, and if I was having them for my dinner with mashed potatoes, peas and onion gravy I’d be looking at 3 as a minimum, most likely 4, but on a brekkie with all the other goodness going on, just give me two.

 

it’s not a “hill I’m going to die on”, but that brekkie is better with fewer hash browns, for sure, and in my opinion if you swapped out the third sausage for some beans and a tomato life would be better.

[Total Longo]

Just now, Bob Spunkmouse said:

Don’t get me wrong, Tone, I love a sausage

 

[Bjornebye]

1 minute ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

Don’t get me wrong, Tone, I love a sausage, and if I was having them for my dinner with mashed potatoes, peas and onion gravy I’d be looking at 3 as a minimum, most likely 4, but on a brekkie with all the other goodness going on, just give me two.

 

it’s not a “hill I’m going to die on”, but that brekkie is better with fewer hash browns, for sure, and in my opinion if you swapped out the third sausage for some beans and a tomato life would be better.

 

 

[Ezekiel 25:17]

3 minutes ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

Don’t get me wrong, Tone, I love a sausage, and if I was having them for my dinner with mashed potatoes, peas and onion gravy I’d be looking at 3 as a minimum, most likely 4, but on a brekkie with all the other goodness going on, just give me two.

 

it’s not a “hill I’m going to die on”, but that brekkie is better with fewer hash browns, for sure, and in my opinion if you swapped out the third sausage for some beans and a tomato life would be better.

I BET YOU DO SPUNKMOUSE YOU DIRTY OLD BOLLOCKS. I BET YOU FUCKING DO.

[JagSquared]

On 15/11/2021 at 10:26, Remmie said:

Pros: Eggs, tattie scone, veggie haggis and Tomato were spot on, not too oily. No idea what they make the haggis from, but it was very smooth. 

 

Cons: Mushrooms didn't taste fried, they were all watery with most of the taste boiled out of them, the veggie sausages were the type with bits of carrot and other vegetable pieces in it and I'm not a huge fan of those. Would have liked another tattie scone. 

 

You may have noticed that there was no toast but that was due to my hungover arse being a bit slow on the uptake as there was a buffet section where you can grab your own. I also got some fresh orange juice and a bean to cup machined Cappuccino. The juice was great, coffee was passable. 

 

I also forgot my keys and conker bringing yet more points off the breakfast. 

 

6.59763339/11

Still trying to fathom how someone unclogged a toilet and put the turds on your plate and called them “sausages” vegetarian or not.

[JagSquared]

Rise in central Bournemouth, it’s a gym with a cafe. Menu only listed scrabbled eggs which wouldn’t have been my preference. The mushrooms were undercooked I added a sausage (average) and they also added avocado meant for my missus on my plate so that got palmed off to her sharpish. Tomato - good, bacon - good (could have done with a tiny bit more colour), beans were “Smokey” but pretty nice. I’d have liked more toast. 
 

it’s expensive £13 with the extra sausage and no drinks. 6.5/10