What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[Bjornebye]

I'd bum his mum. 

[Remmie]

23 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

I'd bum his mum. 

Despite his many failings, this must be a real shot in the arm for him

[Bob]

Called into a cafe in my town that I’ve generally avoided since it took over from the previous failed pretentious coffee place that sat here before it, but this morning I’m hungover, and my missus fancied their pancake stack, so here we are.

 

the menu angered me, with prices such as 2.3 and 3.1 for various coffee options.

 

the brekkie at (£)10(.00) excluding drinks and with only 1 item of many things I’d want 2 of - surprisingly the main being toast - was actually really, very good. All top quality and all very well cooked.

 

the coffee was lovely too.

 

don’t know for sure (cause we haven’t talked about it and the bill hasn’t come yet) but I think she’s paying cause coming here was very much her call, so I’ll overlook the fact it’s going to need a payday loan to pay for it, but judging purely on how happy I am with my breakfast and how much better my day feels now than it did an hour ago, it’s getting 8/10.

 

cunt plate.

 

 

 

RIP to those who have fallen on this Remembrance Day.

[YorkshireRed]

2 minutes ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

she’s paying

I admire the logic from which your optimism stems. We’re here for you when reality sets in. 
 

If we can get past the shrubbery, price, triangular sliced toast and pretentious plate then that’s a half decent breakfast. The eggs and sausage look very nice. 
 

You obviously need at least two more sausages, an additional rasher of bacon and a larger pot of beans to fill you up, but given you are paying I can see why you went small. 

[Bob]

Just now, YorkshireRed said:

I admire the logic from which your optimism stems. We’re here for you when reality sets in. 
 

If we can get past the shrubbery, price, triangular sliced toast and pretentious plate then that’s a half decent breakfast. The eggs and sausage look very nice. 
 

You obviously need at least two more sausages, an additional rasher of bacon and a larger pot of beans to fill you up, but given you are paying I can see why you went small. 

She just paid. £30 for two of us.

[YorkshireRed]

1 minute ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

She just paid. £30 for two of us.

She’s cheating on you. 

[Bjornebye]

1 minute ago, YorkshireRed said:

She’s cheating on you. 

Hahahahaha 

[Bjornebye]

12 minutes ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

Called into a cafe in my town that I’ve generally avoided since it took over from the previous failed pretentious coffee place that sat here before it, but this morning I’m hungover, and my missus fancied their pancake stack, so here we are.

 

the menu angered me, with prices such as 2.3 and 3.1 for various coffee options.

 

the brekkie at (£)10(.00) excluding drinks and with only 1 item of many things I’d want 2 of - surprisingly the main being toast - was actually really, very good. All top quality and all very well cooked.

 

the coffee was lovely too.

 

don’t know for sure (cause we haven’t talked about it and the bill hasn’t come yet) but I think she’s paying cause coming here was very much her call, so I’ll overlook the fact it’s going to need a payday loan to pay for it, but judging purely on how happy I am with my breakfast and how much better my day feels now than it did an hour ago, it’s getting 8/10.

 

cunt plate.

 

 

 

RIP to those who have fallen on this Remembrance Day.

Pro's:

 

Bacon looks lovely

I need to cut into them eggs, very nice

Sausage looks delicious 

Mushroom

The butter doesn't look like it's fresh out the fridge and like a brick

She paid

 

Cons:

 

Toast cut in triangles is as tory as it gets

Not enough bacon and sausage

Someones trimmed their clematis over it

I don't know what that deep fried thing is is it a hash brown? It looks wrong

b*eans obviously you dirty bastard 

The price - robbing twats 

 

2/10 

 

 

 

[Barrington Womble]

50 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

I admire the logic from which your optimism stems. We’re here for you when reality sets in. 
 

If we can get past the shrubbery, price, triangular sliced toast and pretentious plate then that’s a half decent breakfast. The eggs and sausage look very nice. 
 

You obviously need at least two more sausages, an additional rasher of bacon and a larger pot of beans to fill you up, but given you are paying I can see why you went small. 

I think that's a typo in there. Do you mean "half a decent breakfast"?

[DalyanPete]

1 hour ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

Called into a cafe in my town that I’ve generally avoided since it took over from the previous failed pretentious coffee place that sat here before it, but this morning I’m hungover, and my missus fancied their pancake stack, so here we are.

 

the menu angered me, with prices such as 2.3 and 3.1 for various coffee options.

 

the brekkie at (£)10(.00) excluding drinks and with only 1 item of many things I’d want 2 of - surprisingly the main being toast - was actually really, very good. All top quality and all very well cooked.

 

the coffee was lovely too.

 

don’t know for sure (cause we haven’t talked about it and the bill hasn’t come yet) but I think she’s paying cause coming here was very much her call, so I’ll overlook the fact it’s going to need a payday loan to pay for it, but judging purely on how happy I am with my breakfast and how much better my day feels now than it did an hour ago, it’s getting 8/10.

 

cunt plate.

 

 

 

RIP to those who have fallen on this Remembrance Day.

Looks OK, but what the greenery, chefs put it on, we take it off. Cut out the middle man.

Poached eggs too healthy for a fry up.

[Chip Butty]

Style over substance.

 

it’s Latin name would be: Bangus Averagatum. 

 

 

[Stouffer]

Cheeky cunts have put the butter on the plate.

[Tony Moanero]

7 minutes ago, Stouffer said:

Cheeky cunts have put the butter on the plate.

In an attempt to disguise the absence of black pudding.

[Trumo]

Why do all these places have an aversion to cooking bacon properly? On that plate, the edges of the bacon are burnt but the rind looks like it has experienced less heat than a nun on a remote island.

[Tony Moanero]

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, serving toast on the same plate as a cooked breakfast is a cunt’s trick.

[Bob]

16 minutes ago, Trumo said:

Why do all these places have an aversion to cooking bacon properly? On that plate, the edges of the bacon are burnt but the rind looks like it has experienced less heat than a nun on a remote island.

The bacon was sound. The fat on the second rasher was undercooked in one place but wasn’t a problem overall. 

[Remmie]

I like how the eggs look like a pair of bollocks. The beans look like they are trying to gently ween an addict off their disgusting habit by slowly diminishing the portion sizes. 

 

Tremendous mushroom. 

[TheHowieLama]

35 minutes ago, Remmie said:

 

Tremendous mushroom. 

seconded.

[DalyanPete]

3 hours ago, Trumo said:

the rind looks like it has experienced less heat than a nun on a remote island

The best analogies can always be found on here. 

[Total Longo]

19 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

I don't know what that deep fried thing is is it a hash brown? It looks wrong

I think it's just at a weird angle... 

[Bob]

40 minutes ago, Total Longo said:

I think it's just at a weird angle... 

You’re right, it was leant up against the mushroom. I can take or leave a hash brown but for what it’s worth this was a good one. Crispy and not at all greasy.

 

similar trick of the eye with the beans. Looks a small pot but it was tall so perfectly adequate amount of the little beauties.

[Pidge]

Considering premier Inn charge you £9.50 for their breakfast, that's good value. Needs some black pudding and another rasher though.

[Anubis]

Quite decent that, once you’ve fucked the beans off.

[Remmie]

Another hotel breakfast review coming up, this is the courtyard marriott in Edinburgh. I've ordered and am waiting for the vegetarian breakfast, sans beans obviously. The price was bundled in with the hotel cost so not sure what it is on its own. 

 

 

I swapped scrambled for 2 fried eggs

[Remmie]

Pros: Eggs, tattie scone, veggie haggis and Tomato were spot on, not too oily. No idea what they make the haggis from, but it was very smooth. 

 

Cons: Mushrooms didn't taste fried, they were all watery with most of the taste boiled out of them, the veggie sausages were the type with bits of carrot and other vegetable pieces in it and I'm not a huge fan of those. Would have liked another tattie scone. 

 

You may have noticed that there was no toast but that was due to my hungover arse being a bit slow on the uptake as there was a buffet section where you can grab your own. I also got some fresh orange juice and a bean to cup machined Cappuccino. The juice was great, coffee was passable. 

 

I also forgot my keys and conker bringing yet more points off the breakfast. 

 

6.59763339/11