What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[Mook]

22 minutes ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

We were out of red sauce, and when I come downstairs this morning with my bacon and egg sandwich almost ready, I saw her messing about with sauces, and just don’t even know what she was thinking. 

salad cream and brown sauce on a bacon and egg sandwich. I’m shaking my head again now thinking about it.

 

I've just vomited a curly wurly I had in 1986.

[Trumo]

31 minutes ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

We were out of red sauce, and when I come downstairs this morning with my bacon and egg sandwich almost ready, I saw her messing about with sauces, and just don’t even know what she was thinking. 

salad cream and brown sauce on a bacon and egg sandwich. I’m shaking my head again now thinking about it.

 

 

Fried egg treated like a liberal journalist by the ruling Saudi regime that.

[TheHowieLama]

On 12/10/2021 at 09:15, TheHowieLama said:

Sometimes it is easier to figure out a problem like this by identifying what doesn't constitute the perfect cooked breakfast.

 

Thanks for your help here @Bob Spunkmouse

^^^^

[Barrington Womble]

On 15/10/2021 at 11:57, lifetime fan said:

 

Sausages - cheap, only just up from a chippy sausage and deep fried. No taste whatsoever. 
 

Bacon - was like happy shopper wafer thin ham with loads of raw fat and a few black line drawn on it with a felt tip pen. 
 

Bread - was cold and shit. 
 

Beans - ok, but only lukewarm. 
 

Hash browns - meh. 

Mush & eggs - tossed them on to me ol fellas plate. He said the mushroom was cold but the eggs could have been alright if they were served two hours ago when they were actually cooked. 
 

1/10. 
 

And that’s only because I had a pint with it. 
 

Fucking Brexit breakfast that pile of shite. 
 

Wetherspoons breakfasts are that bad, sticking the hash browns on the toast is about the only edible thing. They even fuck up the eggs somehow, they're disgusting. And the bacon is never cooked. 

On 12/10/2021 at 14:19, Tony Moanero said:

Sadly, the cunt plate is easily the best thing on the table.

The plate looks like it's from a doll's house. There's not even enough room for 2 eggs! 

[lifetime fan]

19 minutes ago, Barrington Womble said:

And the bacon is never cooked. 

The bacon was fucking vile. 

[Barrington Womble]

31 minutes ago, lifetime fan said:

The bacon was fucking vile. 

Its quite a miracle what they do to a breakfast. How is bacon ever vile? Yet they somehow do it. The sausages somehow look ok when you cut them and then they're like the shittest chippy sausage ever when you taste them. Eggs, fuck me - I love eggs. It can make me a bit fussy as I don't like low quality ones, but their eggs are as bad as anything you can find anywhere. You'd have to guess they're growing it in some test tubes in the kitchen. 

[Strontium]

On 15/10/2021 at 11:41, YorkshireRed said:

I’ve seen Christians slaughtered at the Colosseum in Rome that were left in a more appetising state than this.  

 

Glad-he-ate-it and not me.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

9 hours ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

We were out of red sauce, and when I come downstairs this morning with my bacon and egg sandwich almost ready, I saw her messing about with sauces, and just don’t even know what she was thinking. 

salad cream and brown sauce on a bacon and egg sandwich. I’m shaking my head again now thinking about it.

 

https://vardags.com/l/london/divorce-lawyer/?gclid=CjwKCAjw8KmLBhB8EiwAQbqNoF1EiI9hWUz5RlQI0EZppCE8dqQQPZJOrtSp_rSm0M75bGqrD7BslhoCFPMQAvD_BwE

 

[Curly]

16 hours ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

We were out of red sauce, and when I come downstairs this morning with my bacon and egg sandwich almost ready, I saw her messing about with sauces, and just don’t even know what she was thinking. 

salad cream and brown sauce on a bacon and egg sandwich. I’m shaking my head again now thinking about it.

 

 

[Bjornebye]

17 hours ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

We were out of red sauce, and when I come downstairs this morning with my bacon and egg sandwich almost ready, I saw her messing about with sauces, and just don’t even know what she was thinking. 

salad cream and brown sauce on a bacon and egg sandwich. I’m shaking my head again now thinking about it.

 

I assume she’s now homeless 

[Em City]

My mate worked in a Wetherspoon's for a while and told me everything on the food menu bar one or two items are prepared by Chef Microwave.

[Curly]

Cooked our lad his first proper breakfast this morning. Might have missed the window of hunger and alertness due to him getting up at 5.30 today, so might not go as well as I hoped!

 

This is the grown up version…

 

[Bjornebye]

 

 

[DalyanPete]

Some serious egg cooking issues in this thread.

[Curly]

28 minutes ago, DalyanPete said:

Some serious egg cooking issues in this thread.

Yeah - I did fuck that one egg up, but the others were perfect. Perfect!

[Curly]

30 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

 

 

Hahaha

[DalyanPete]

26 minutes ago, Belarus said:

Yeah - I did fuck that one egg up, but the others were perfect. Perfect!

Aah, but I may not have been discussing your breakfast. Kudos for bringing up your lad correctly though.

I did it for my Grandson's when they last visited and was told, "grandad, we could live on this"

 

[Curly]

5 minutes ago, DalyanPete said:

Aah, but I may not have been discussing your breakfast. Kudos for bringing up your lad correctly though.

I did it for my Grandson's when they last visited and was told, "grandad, we could live on this"

 

Haha - that’s a great reaction. My lad cried and wanted to get out the chair and was then up in bed asleep about 3 minutes later, so it went to the mutt instead.

 

It’s this thread mate - it makes me sensitive and paranoid. It is therapeutic though in bringing me back down to earth whenever I get ahead of myself. It’s made me ultra defensive and I love it. I’d fight to the death for my eggs now

[YorkshireRed]

I see you’re instilling the proper values into your young man early doors. 
 

Beans belong on a breakfast. 
 

Your nominations for ‘parent of the year’ and ‘beaner of the year’ are in. 
 

It’s not all good news though. The police are on their way to arrest you for crimes against eggs. 

[DalyanPete]

5 minutes ago, Belarus said:

sensitive and paranoid

A brave man who posts on this thread.

[DalyanPete]

2 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

Beans belong on a breakfast

Yep, I'm in.

[Bjornebye]

19 minutes ago, Belarus said:

Haha - that’s a great reaction. My lad cried and wanted to get out the chair and was then up in bed asleep about 3 minutes later, so it went to the mutt instead.

 

It’s this thread mate - it makes me sensitive and paranoid. It is therapeutic though in bringing me back down to earth whenever I get ahead of myself. It’s made me ultra defensive and I love it. I’d fight to the death for my eggs now

Your eggs look like they had a fight to the death mate

 

Oh and...

 

 

 

[Curly]

22 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Your eggs look like they had a fight to the death mate

 

Oh and...

 

 

 

Hahaha

[tokyojoe]

2 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

 

 

Beat me to it!

[PestiRed]

1 hour ago, Belarus said:

Haha - that’s a great reaction. My lad cried and wanted to get out the chair and was then up in bed asleep about 3 minutes later, so it went to the mutt instead.

 

It’s this thread mate - it makes me sensitive and paranoid. It is therapeutic though in bringing me back down to earth whenever I get ahead of myself. It’s made me ultra defensive and I love it. I’d fight to the death for my eggs now

The lesson here is not to give your kid the good egg

 

(or beans, obviously)