What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[Ezekiel 25:17]

Thought the GF would appreciate this, not mine unfortunately.

[Bjornebye]

Negged. What a horrible day for this thread. That looks like something   would make on masterchef 

[Curly]

7 hours ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

A late breakfast:

 

Branston beans & sausages with 3 fried eggs, strong cheddar and saracha hot sauce.

 

The plate is for Tony.

 

Have you put beans and egg on buttered bread? Repped for the audacity

[TheHowieLama]

He has used the heel on the bottom left there as well.

 

#nowastekitchen

[Boss]

Recipe for Sheps Breakfast:

 

1. Crack three egg whites into a jug and throw all the yolks in the bin. 

2. Add a Cheesestrings Twister to the egg whites

3. Pour the mixture onto a plate with raised sides, and put it in the microwave for 4 minutes on 100% power

4. While that's cooking, butter four pieces of white bread and place them on the serving plate

5. Open a can of Branston baked beans with sausages in it and pour it on top of the white bread, cold

6. Now take your nuked cheesy egg abomination out of the microwave and put it on top

7. Cover it all in sriracha sauce

 

Bon appetite!

 

[Bjornebye]

1 minute ago, Boss said:

Recipe for Sheps Breakfast:

 

1. Crack three eggs straight into a bin

2. Search high and low for the car keys

3. Put some milk in a bowl and leave it in the street about 25 yards away from your drive

4. While waiting for the neighbours white cat to appear, butter four pieces of white bread and place them on the serving plate

5. Open a can of baked beans with sausages in it and pour it on top of the white bread, cold

6. Now get in the car and drive straight over the cat

7. Into reverse and go back over the fucking thing

8. Scrape it up with a shovel and place it over the cold miserable plate of doom

9. Cover it in Siracha

10. Share neighbours facebook post about their missing cat

11. Type "Kirsty Allsopp in a short skirt" into google images

 

Bon appetite!

 

.

[PestiRed]

19 minutes ago, TheHowieLama said:

He has used the heel on the bottom left there as well.

 

#nowastekitchen

Crust - only the bizarre and paradoxical constituency of posh people and Americans say heel

[tokyojoe]

34 minutes ago, Ezekiel 25:17 said:

Thought the GF would appreciate this, not mine unfortunately.

Negged as well.

 

 

 

Vomits.................

[PestiRed]

3 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

.

 You forgot to finger the cat for added flavour

[Bjornebye]

1 minute ago, PestiRed said:

 You forgot to finger the cat for added flavour

That was my personal google search 

[TheHowieLama]

1 hour ago, PestiRed said:

Crust - only the bizarre and paradoxical constituency of posh people and Americans say heel

No man - every slice has crust on it.

[Carvalho Diablo]

Gonna knock up some breakfast burritos in a bit.

 

Some Uncle Ben's microwaveable egg fried rice, some Bernard Matthews Dinosaur Shapes, lettuce, tomato, grated cheddar, some Cool flavoured Doritos for the crunch, maybe some Doritos salsa and some saracha hot sauce.

 

A couple of those should hit the spot.

[Carvalho Diablo]

Here we go...

[Carvalho Diablo]

Son of a bitch tortillas are too small!

[Carvalho Diablo]

I forgot the bib, the wet wipes and Ali G's ice cream glove.

 

Bugger.

[Bjornebye]

Why did you move the kettle? 

[Carvalho Diablo]

Tasted fantastic.

 

I'm stuffed like a fucking fat pig.

[Strontium]

The processed food obsessives will be all over you for the turkey dinosaurs.

 

Well, they would be if they ever commented on food outside the vegetarian thread.

[TheHowieLama]

1 hour ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

Here we go...

It looks remarkably similar to the last thing you threw up - erm posted.

[Pidge]

19 hours ago, TheHowieLama said:

He has used the heel on the bottom left there as well.

 

#nowastekitchen

You throw the crust away? Like a five year old would?

[TheHowieLama]

4 minutes ago, Pidge said:

You throw the crust away? Like a five year old would?

Exactly - like Tony's ma does when she cuts the crusts off his peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

[Tony Moanero]

6 minutes ago, TheHowieLama said:

Exactly - like Tony's ma does when she cuts the crusts off his peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Haha. For goodness sake, man, it’s jam! You have jelly with ice cream.

 

[PestiRed]

2 hours ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

Here we go...

You’ve got the same life expectancy as Shaun Ryder

[Ezekiel 25:17]

2 hours ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

Tasted fantastic.

 

I'm stuffed like a fucking fat pig.

How many did you have i'm guessing two, they don't look the best, how exactly is it a breakfast burrito ?? Breakfasts Burritos have got fucking sausages and egg pouring out of them.

[Mudface]

2 hours ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

Here we go...

It's no wonder you said you had a B12 deficiency, you've terrified all the vitamins away...