What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[Bob]

2 hours ago, Ezekiel 25:17 said:

Full English Cyprus €8.99. The toast was as white as anything I've ever seen yet at the same time broke like a cracker, which was a cute touch.

Dear god. If that’s what’s on offer, just eat whatever the locals are eating. It’s not worth it.

[Mudface]

The bread's made out of despair, regret and the terror of the lost. That's why it's so crunchy and fits in so well with the rest of that plate.

[Captain Willard]

7 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

Thats amazing 

The title could be “Stig in search of a dump”

 

That occurred to me at 5 am when I was having yet another nocturnal piss. 

[Captain Willard]

4 hours ago, Mudface said:

The bread's made out of despair, regret and the terror of the lost. That's why it's so crunchy and fits in so well with the rest of that plate.

We should rename the GF that. 

[Bjornebye]

7 hours ago, Ezekiel 25:17 said:

Full English Cyprus €8.99. The toast was as white as anything I've ever seen yet at the same time broke like a cracker, which was a cute touch.

That’s just ….. fucking hell 

[Guest]

8 hours ago, Ezekiel 25:17 said:

Full English Cyprus €8.99. The toast was as white as anything I've ever seen yet at the same time broke like a cracker, which was a cute touch.

What is that red blob on top of the bacon? And why does it look like the knife has already been used, yet the plate is intact?

[Evelyn Tentions]

8 hours ago, Ezekiel 25:17 said:

Full English Cyprus €8.99. The toast was as white as anything I've ever seen yet at the same time broke like a cracker, which was a cute touch.

Week old stale bread, that's why.

They must have weird looking pigs in Cyprus.

[Evelyn Tentions]

18 hours ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

Lovely home cooked, meat-free brunch here. 

 

2 quorn sausage patties 

6 slices of halloumi "bacon"

Tofu scramble: best one I've made so far

Grilled chestnut mushrooms 

Turkish bread

 

Excuse the dirty tablecloth, I couldn't be arsed changing it before I ate my delicious food. 

 

Haters gonna hate. 

 

No hate.

Just pity.

[skend04]

18 hours ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

Lovely home cooked, meat-free brunch here. 

 

2 quorn sausage patties 

6 slices of halloumi "bacon"

Tofu scramble: best one I've made so far

Grilled chestnut mushrooms 

Turkish bread

 

Excuse the dirty tablecloth, I couldn't be arsed changing it before I ate my delicious food. 

 

Haters gonna hate. 

 

It's amazing what you can do with cardboard and a bit of free time. Now, where's the edible stuff?

[Trumo]

I'm just struggling to fathom how all these full English's cost the best part of a tenner yet consist mostly of half a tin of beans. Then I remember the voting habits of the majority of this country and it all makes sense.

[Barrington Womble]

11 hours ago, Ezekiel 25:17 said:

Full English Cyprus €8.99. The toast was as white as anything I've ever seen yet at the same time broke like a cracker, which was a cute touch.

Were you in the Turkish side and that's some type of turkey bacon? 

 

The eggs look alright though.

[Remmie]

I'm off to an all inclusive in Lanzarote tomorrow and heard they do an English breakfast. Will be interesting to see how shite they can be. I'll post a review if so, might have to smuggle a conker through customs. 

[Bjornebye]

I still can’t believe Zeek had the nerve to post that 

[Chip Butty]

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides, by wank breakfasts

by the inequities of shite cooks and the tyranny of awful ingredients.....

[YorkshireRed]

12 hours ago, Ezekiel 25:17 said:

Full English Cyprus €8.99. The toast was as white as anything I've ever seen yet at the same time broke like a cracker, which was a cute touch.

Yesterday morning I gave the Cypriot government a final note stating that unless I heard from them by 11 o'clock that they were prepared to remove the title ‘Full English’ from that breakfast atrocity, a state of war would exist between us. I have to tell you now that no such undertaking has been received, and that consequently I am now at war with Cyprus.

[Mudface]

Just now, YorkshireRed said:

Yesterday morning I gave the Cypriot government a final note stating that unless I heard from them by 11 o'clock that they were prepared to remove the title ‘Full English’ from that breakfast atrocity, a state of war would exist between us. I have to tell you now that no such undertaking has been received, and that consequently I am now at war with Cyprus.

 

[Curly]

£5.95. Just fuck off, the lot of you.

 

 

[Trumo]

Bean juice and tomato juice with a garnish of hash brown and sausage. They might as well have chucked it all in a blender and served it with a straw.

[YorkshireRed]

11 minutes ago, belarus said:

£5.95. Just fuck off, the lot of you.

 

 

I’d rather dip those sausages in the coffee than that tomato shite. 

[Tony Moanero]

47 minutes ago, belarus said:

£5.95. Just fuck off, the lot of you.

 

 

Cunt paper cup.

 

[Tony Moanero]

“If we lash the toast on the same plate as the fry-up, do you think people will notice there’s no black pudding?”

[Ezekiel 25:17]

3 hours ago, Barrington Womble said:

Were you in the Turkish side and that's some type of turkey bacon? 

 

The eggs look alright though.

Ayia Napa,  believe it or not that gaff has got proper boss ratings and reviews.

[Bjornebye]

1 hour ago, belarus said:

£5.95. Just fuck off, the lot of you.

 

 

Fuck me that’s Les Battersbys death row meal 

[Ezekiel 25:17]

6 hours ago, Shooter in the Motor said:

What is that red blob on top of the bacon? And why does it look like the knife has already been used, yet the plate is intact?

Ketchup and I buttered the crackers with it.

[Ezekiel 25:17]

2 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

I still can’t believe Zeek had the nerve to post that 

I'm feeling the love.