What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

I went veggie once only ate vegetarians, gave up because I was really eating meat.

[Bjornebye]

4 hours ago, an tha said:

Not posted a brekkie in here before....just ordered one and will post it later.

 

Before anyone jumps in i want to make it clear i fucking hate tomatoes with a passion - whether it is the vomit inducing tinned shite or fried and i hate mushrooms too.

 

My order

 

2 Sausage

2 Egg

Bacon

"Bubble"

Fried Slice

Black Pudding

Beans 

 

2 Toast

Tea

 

£9.70

 

Hopefully will be a good maiden breakfast post!

 

2 hours ago, an tha said:

Well here goes.

 

As i said in another post it was better than it looked - it was not great, but it was not bad...

Just did not look all that.

 

Anyway here....

 

Hahahahahahahahaha the fucking kip of that how dare you put a plate like that next to a pair of trainees that boss 

1 hour ago, Tony Moanero said:

I’m strictly a plain white crockery man, but these 70s Pyrex cups are my all-time favourite drinking vessels.

 

 

Fucking hell

51 minutes ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

Lovely home cooked, meat-free brunch here. 

 

2 quorn sausage patties 

6 slices of halloumi "bacon"

Tofu scramble: best one I've made so far

Grilled chestnut mushrooms 

Turkish bread

 

Excuse the dirty tablecloth, I couldn't be arsed changing it before I ate my delicious food. 

 

Haters gonna hate. 

 

Why don't you just go to crosby beach and eat dry sand for free mate? 

 

(It actually doesn't look bad, type of thing my bird eats, she does boss scrambled tofu and no that isn't a euphemism) 

[Paulie Dangerously]

38 minutes ago, Remmie said:

How come you've gone veggie on the cheese and vegan when it's come to the eggs? Not having a go, just bicurious

Can't get the image of thousands of baby chicks going through the blender in the chicken farms after I watched that Dominion documentary. Can't even stomach the thought of going near an egg. Suppose the dairy part had less of an impact. I'm still eating biscuits and that which have egg in. Just don't think I can see me cracking open a chicken period and quaffing it. It's a shame  because I fucking love eggs as well. 

[Captain Willard]

3 hours ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

Can't get the image of thousands of baby chicks going through the blender in the chicken farms after I watched that Dominion documentary. Can't even stomach the thought of going near an egg. Suppose the dairy part had less of an impact. I'm still eating biscuits and that which have egg in. Just don't think I can see me cracking open a chicken period and quaffing it. It's a shame  because I fucking love eggs as well. 

I didn’t eat chicken for years after visiting too many chicken farms. Then I went to India and saw adult women taking a shit in the street and wild pigs eating it fresh and I thought maybe chicken was not so bad after all. 

[Bob]

7 hours ago, an tha said:

Well here goes.

 

As i said in another post it was better than it looked - it was not great, but it was not bad...

Just did not look all that.

 

Anyway here....

 

Bubble and squeak has no place on a breakfast. None at all. Dreadful.

 

sausages look shite too.

[JagSquared]

5 hours ago, Dave D said:

Up the road from me.

Im not comfortable with other forum members actually being real people nearby

I’ve reported you to the authorities, I can’t have another deviant that close either.

[Paulie Dangerously]

39 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

I didn’t eat chicken for years after visiting too many chicken farms. Then I went to India and saw adult women taking a shit in the street and wild pigs eating it fresh and I thought maybe chicken was not so bad after all. 

Finding it hard to wank over this

[Dave D]

24 minutes ago, JagSquared said:

I’ve reported you to the authorities, I can’t have another deviant that close either.

Its like Dr Who Time-Lords meeting- it cant happen 

[Dave D]

4 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

Hahahahahahahahaha the fucking kip of that how dare you put a plate like that next to a pair of trainees that boss 

Fucking hell

Why don't you just go to crosby beach and eat dry sand for free mate? 

 

(It actually doesn't look bad, type of thing my bird eats, she does boss scrambled tofu and no that isn't a euphemism) 

Budgie or Parrot?

[Bjornebye]

44 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

I didn’t eat chicken for years after visiting too many chicken farms. Then I went to India and saw adult women taking a shit in the street and wild pigs eating it fresh and I thought maybe chicken was not so bad after all. 

How old was she? 

[Guest]

6 hours ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

Lovely home cooked, meat-free brunch here. 

 

2 quorn sausage patties 

6 slices of halloumi "bacon"

Tofu scramble: best one I've made so far

Grilled chestnut mushrooms 

Turkish bread

 

Excuse the dirty tablecloth, I couldn't be arsed changing it before I ate my delicious food. 

 

Haters gonna hate. 

 

[Captain Willard]

1 hour ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

Finding it hard to wank over this

Ask @Bjornebye

[Captain Willard]

59 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

How old was she? 

We’re talking a lot of people using the outdoors to have a nice public shit. In the rural countryside, it’s a common site in the mornings. 

[Elite]

11 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

We’re talking a lot of people using the outdoors to have a nice public shit. In the rural countryside, it’s a common shite in the mornings. 

 

[Bjornebye]

15 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

We’re talking a lot of people using the outdoors to have a nice public shit. In the rural countryside, it’s a common site in the mornings. 

I just wondered if she's still alive or not 

[Jairzinho]

15 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

We’re talking a lot of people using the outdoors to have a nice public shit. In the rural countryside, it’s a common site in the mornings. 

Not too uncommon in Sevilla. 

 

The funniest occasion being a woman curling one out near Plaza de España in front of a bus load of appalled Japanese tourists. 

[Captain Willard]

Just now, Bjornebye said:

I just wondered if she's still alive or not 

You should pitch that as a channel 5 series. Here is the pitch, “Watch as Anika Rice helps Stig to find a traveller kid who took a shit on a tiled floor of a derelict house sometime in the 1970s”.  I’d watch it. 

[Bruce Spanner]

10 hours ago, an tha said:

Well here goes.

 

As i said in another post it was better than it looked - it was not great, but it was not bad...

Just did not look all that.

 

Anyway here....

 

Fuck off.

 

8 hours ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

Lovely home cooked, meat-free brunch here. 

 

2 quorn sausage patties 

6 slices of halloumi "bacon"

Tofu scramble: best one I've made so far

Grilled chestnut mushrooms 

Turkish bread

 

Excuse the dirty tablecloth, I couldn't be arsed changing it before I ate my delicious food. 

 

Haters gonna hate. 

 

 

When he ^ comes back from fucking off, off ya pop.

 

Fucking disgrace, tha pair a ya.

[Bjornebye]

1 hour ago, Captain Willard said:

You should pitch that as a channel 5 series. Here is the pitch, “Watch as Anika Rice helps Stig to find a traveller kid who took a shit on a tiled floor of a derelict house sometime in the 1970s”.  I’d watch it. 

Thats amazing 

[Ezekiel 25:17]

Full English Cyprus €8.99. The toast was as white as anything I've ever seen yet at the same time broke like a cracker, which was a cute touch.

[Captain Willard]

1 minute ago, Ezekiel 25:17 said:

Full English Cyprus €8.99. The toast was as white as anything I've ever seen yet at the same time broke like a cracker, which was a cute touch.

No black pudding or kidneys. Far too many beans completely dominating the plate. Basically beans on toast with an egg on the side. 

[Ezekiel 25:17]

4 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

No black pudding or kidneys. Far too many beans completely dominating the plate. Basically beans on toast with an egg on the side. 

Rarely see black pudding abroad, I wish I'd filmed me cutting the crunch bread, it was quite something.

[cloggypop]

1 hour ago, Ezekiel 25:17 said:

Full English Cyprus €8.99. The toast was as white as anything I've ever seen yet at the same time broke like a cracker, which was a cute touch.

Why is your, erm, bacon fucking rectangular?

[JagSquared]

5 hours ago, Dave D said:

Its like Dr Who Time-Lords meeting- it cant happen 

There can only be one highlander.

[JagSquared]

1 hour ago, Ezekiel 25:17 said:

Full English Cyprus €8.99. The toast was as white as anything I've ever seen yet at the same time broke like a cracker, which was a cute touch.

Those sausages look to have a meat content of about 12% and oil saturation of 73%. Bacon looks like someone stuck a wham bar on a griddle too. 
 

and some had the temerity to mock my breakfast.