What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[General Dryness]

1 hour ago, an tha said:

Echo now scouse articling cafe's/fry ups.

 

Need AoT to get in there for a review.

 

https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/whats-on/food-drink-news/new-liverpool-restaurants-opens-scousest-21061300

That could cause some problems. 

 

"Where you goin for breakfast la?"

"Yer ma"

"You friggin startin?"

[Bjornebye]

4 minutes ago, General Dryness said:

That could cause some problems. 

 

"Where you goin for breakfast la?"

"Yer ma"

"You friggin startin?"

Hahahahahahaha 

[Strontium]

I have a strong idea of how this will be received here, but I present my findings in the interests of science.

 

 

Joro Vegan Eatery, Birkenhead (takeaway). £6.50

 

 

 

Well, look. I enjoyed this. The beans, hash brown and tomato were exactly what you'd expect. The sausages were nice, similar to the Linda McCartney ones. The toast was buttered on the other side (well, not butter, obviously). The spinach/onion/mushroom mix was unusual but fine, and it all tasted good when I stuck it on the toast with everything else. The stuff in the pot is hummus, which has no business being on a breakfast.

[KMD7]

Just now, Strontium Dog™ said:

I have a strong idea of how this will be received here, but I present my findings in the interests of science.

 

 

Joro Vegan Eatery, Birkenhead (takeaway). £6.50

 

 

 

Well, look. I enjoyed this. The beans, hash brown and tomato were exactly what you'd expect. The sausages were nice, similar to the Linda McCartney ones. The toast was buttered on the other side (well, not butter, obviously). The spinach/onion/mushroom mix was unusual but fine, and it all tasted good when I stuck it on the toast with everything else. The stuff in the pot is hummus, which has no business being on a breakfast.

Looks grand that SD. I have tried the Linda McCartney sausages a few times but (to my palate anyway) they are well flavoured but a bit dry. Maybe I'm overdoing them in the oven  Are there any other types you'd recommend? 

[Elite]

2 minutes ago, KMD7 said:

Looks grand that SD. I have tried the Linda McCartney sausages a few times but (to my palate anyway) they are well flavoured but a bit dry. Maybe I'm overdoing them in the oven  Are there any other types you'd recommend? 

It would look grand to a prisoner of war mate, It looks fucking shite to me.

[TheHowieLama]

It is terrible. I have no idea how any of it tastes but just looking at it makes me want to hurl.

Like somebody took a bunch of something and tried to form it into shapes of something else.

 

I love hummus.

 

[Stouffer]

That's like a Pantone colour chart for beige.

[Remmie]

It's spelt Houmous. It's also pronounced that way. 

 

Even for a vegan breakfast half the ingredients shouldn't be there. I've pity repped you Stronts, but you are sailing close to the wind.

[Barrington Womble]

Looks fucking shocking that. I'd sooner not eat. 

[YorkshireRed]

3 hours ago, Strontium Dog™ said:

I have a strong idea of how this will be received here, but I present my findings in the interests of science.

 

 

Joro Vegan Eatery, Birkenhead (takeaway). £6.50

 

 

 

Well, look. I enjoyed this. The beans, hash brown and tomato were exactly what you'd expect. The sausages were nice, similar to the Linda McCartney ones. The toast was buttered on the other side (well, not butter, obviously). The spinach/onion/mushroom mix was unusual but fine, and it all tasted good when I stuck it on the toast with everything else. The stuff in the pot is hummus, which has no business being on a breakfast.

Just got home. Pleasant afternoon. Feeling reasonably good about the world. Saw this. Remembered why as a species we’re doomed. 

[Tony Moanero]

It looks poorly cooked, to me. 

[redinblack]

The last time I was able to go on holiday before covid on the last morning I had a full English, beans were optional but not taken, and I had several glasses of champagne. I think thats as good as it gets.

[Strontium]

8 hours ago, KMD7 said:

Looks grand that SD. I have tried the Linda McCartney sausages a few times but (to my palate anyway) they are well flavoured but a bit dry. Maybe I'm overdoing them in the oven  Are there any other types you'd recommend? 

 

The McCartney sausages are funny ones, sometimes they come out dry and sometimes they're quite juicy.

 

The Richmond veggie sausages are quite popular, I think they're okay but some people really love them. I quite like the Cauldron Foods ones, been a while since I had them though.

 

My favourite veggie sausages of all time are the Tivall frankfurters, but I know better than to recommend Israeli companies owned by Nestle on this forum. Oh shi

 

5 hours ago, Remmie said:

It's spelt Houmous. It's also pronounced that way.

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hummus

 

*shrugs*

[Remmie]

3 minutes ago, Strontium Dog™ said:

 

The McCartney sausages are funny ones, sometimes they come out dry and sometimes they're quite juicy.

 

The Richmond veggie sausages are quite popular, I think they're okay but some people really love them. I quite like the Cauldron Foods ones, been a while since I had them though.

 

My favourite veggie sausages of all time are the Tivall frankfurters, but I know better than to recommend Israeli companies owned by Nestle on this forum. Oh shi

 

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hummus

 

*shrugs*

Thanks for the link to an American website and their preferred spelling.

[Strontium]

36 minutes ago, Remmie said:

Thanks for the link to an American website and their preferred spelling.

The word hummus comes from Arabic

 

I mean, you can use the British English spelling if you want, but I'll defer to the Levantine peoples who invented it. Some of them were probably my ancestors.

[Guest]

7 hours ago, Tony Moanero said:

It looks poorly cooked, to me. 

As in burnt?

[Guest]

2 hours ago, Strontium Dog™ said:

 

 

 

I mean, you can use the British English spelling if you want, but I'll defer to the Levantine peoples who invented it. Some of them were probably my ancestors.

Borat Sagdiyev over here.

[Evelyn Tentions]

10 minutes ago, Shooter in the Motor said:

As in burnt?

It should be ,preferably in a crematorium

[Bruce Spanner]

My wife who I love eternally was up slightly before me, which is unusual.

 

I head to the kitchen to find her making breakfest, a version of something called 'Egg Slut' it's an American institution that has a shop in Notting Hill and their breakfasts are the stuff of legend.

 

Anyhows I notice there's no real smell of bacon in the house even though she's cooking bacon, despite the fact that I didn't remember having bacon in the house anyway, but...

 

I bite in and it's tasteless, completley.

 

Turns out she found some bacon in the freezer and defrosted it in the microwave before frying it thereby removing every ounce of taste and ensuring the fat won't render down.

 

I ate it as mine was first, she threw her's sneakily after a couple of mouthfuls.

 

No words have yet been exchanged, but we're both in bad moods now and neither will acknowledge why.

 

A wasted breakfast is truly a thing to anger the gods and sully the positive psychology a Sunday morning well spent brings.

 

Bollocks.

 

NB This is an Egg Slut...

 

[Elite]

6 minutes ago, Bruce Spanner said:

My wife who I love eternally was up slightly before me, which is unusual.

 

I head to the kitchen to find her making breakfest, a version of something called 'Egg Slut' it's an American institution that has a shop in Notting Hill and their breakfasts are the stuff of legend.

 

Anyhows I notice there's no real smell of bacon in the house even though she's cooking bacon, despite the fact that I didn't remember having bacon in the house anyway, but...

 

I bite in and it's tasteless, completley.

 

Turns out she found some bacon in the freezer and defrosted it in the microwave before frying it thereby removing every ounce of taste and ensuring the fat won't render down.

 

I ate it as mine was first, she threw her's sneakily after a couple of mouthfuls.

 

No words have yet been exchanged, but we're both in bad moods now and neither will acknowledge why.

 

A wasted breakfast is truly a thing to anger the gods and sully the positive psychology a Sunday morning well spent brings.

 

Bollocks.

 

NB This is an Egg Slut...

 

Should be called a cream pie with the look they've gone for.

[Curly]

16 hours ago, Strontium Dog™ said:

I have a strong idea of how this will be received here, but I present my findings in the interests of science.

 

 

Joro Vegan Eatery, Birkenhead (takeaway). £6.50

 

 

 

Well, look. I enjoyed this. The beans, hash brown and tomato were exactly what you'd expect. The sausages were nice, similar to the Linda McCartney ones. The toast was buttered on the other side (well, not butter, obviously). The spinach/onion/mushroom mix was unusual but fine, and it all tasted good when I stuck it on the toast with everything else. The stuff in the pot is hummus, which has no business being on a breakfast.

Right…

 

Hummus? Fuck sake - it doesn’t even look like a nice hummus you perv. I don’t care if you wanted it or not. You posted the picture 

 

Spinach? On a breakfast? Dear God

Beans I applaud, but why have they pressed those ones between two pieces of kitchen roll before putting them on the plate?

 

Well there it is - a seeded fucking batch. Uncooked at that. Bad enough you’d think, but then we are told it is buttered….wait for it….face down!! 
 

The hash browns look dead soggy and greasy. I’m an absolute stone wall cunt, but even I don’t deserve to look at them

 

Sausages and tomato look fairly decent

 

2 out of 10. Consider yourself on a very strong warning. Seeded fucking batch. Have you ever?

[Elite]

2 minutes ago, belarus said:

Right…

 

Hummus? Fuck sake - it doesn’t even look like a nice hummus you perv. I don’t care if you wanted it or not. You posted the picture 

 

Spinach? On a breakfast? Dear God

Beans I applaud, but why have they pressed those ones between two pieces of kitchen roll before putting them on the plate?

 

Well there it is - a seeded fucking batch. Uncooked at that. Bad enough you’d think, but then we are told it is buttered….wait for it….face down!! 
 

The hash browns look dead soggy and greasy. I’m an absolute stone wall cunt, but even I don’t deserve to look at them

 

Sausages and tomato look fairly decent

 

2 out of 10. Consider yourself on a very strong warning. Seeded fucking batch. Have you ever?

I like seeded bread for sandwiches but you're right, it has absolutely no place on a cooked breakfast.

[skend04]

16 hours ago, Strontium Dog™ said:

I have a strong idea of how this will be received here, but I present my findings in the interests of science.

 

 

Joro Vegan Eatery, Birkenhead (takeaway). £6.50

 

 

 

Well, look. I enjoyed this. The beans, hash brown and tomato were exactly what you'd expect. The sausages were nice, similar to the Linda McCartney ones. The toast was buttered on the other side (well, not butter, obviously). The spinach/onion/mushroom mix was unusual but fine, and it all tasted good when I stuck it on the toast with everything else. The stuff in the pot is hummus, which has no business being on a breakfast.

If Tracy Emin created art about breakfast, this would be it. From filthy beds to some bits of "food" thrown into non-recyclable polystyrene. 

[YorkshireRed]

33 minutes ago, Bruce Spanner said:

My wife who I love eternally was up slightly before me, which is unusual.

 

I head to the kitchen to find her making breakfest, a version of something called 'Egg Slut' it's an American institution that has a shop in Notting Hill and their breakfasts are the stuff of legend.

 

Anyhows I notice there's no real smell of bacon in the house even though she's cooking bacon, despite the fact that I didn't remember having bacon in the house anyway, but...

 

I bite in and it's tasteless, completley.

 

Turns out she found some bacon in the freezer and defrosted it in the microwave before frying it thereby removing every ounce of taste and ensuring the fat won't render down.

 

I ate it as mine was first, she threw her's sneakily after a couple of mouthfuls.

 

No words have yet been exchanged, but we're both in bad moods now and neither will acknowledge why.

 

A wasted breakfast is truly a thing to anger the gods and sully the positive psychology a Sunday morning well spent brings.

 

Bollocks.

 

NB This is an Egg Slut...

 

A cheating spouse can be forgiven. One who serves up tasteless bacon can’t be. 
 

Despite what we may have been told. Love cannot conquer all. 

[Bjornebye]

17 hours ago, Strontium Dog™ said:

I have a strong idea of how this will be received here, but I present my findings in the interests of science.

 

 

Joro Vegan Eatery, Birkenhead (takeaway). £6.50

 

 

 

Well, look. I enjoyed this. The beans, hash brown and tomato were exactly what you'd expect. The sausages were nice, similar to the Linda McCartney ones. The toast was buttered on the other side (well, not butter, obviously). The spinach/onion/mushroom mix was unusual but fine, and it all tasted good when I stuck it on the toast with everything else. The stuff in the pot is hummus, which has no business being on a breakfast.

Repped for having the nerve to post it. 
 

Reported to social services, the nspcc, prevent, trading standards and the CIA for deviancy