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What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?


ISeeRed
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Beans with a full English?  

229 members have voted

  1. 1. Beans with a full English?

    • Aye, bean me up, Scotty.
      124
    • Nay, poke your beans up your bum, one at a time.
      73


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6 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

Yeah I don't bother with the personal dances, tbh I don't like them much myself but I did have a laugh in there when I went. me and my mate checking our footy bets and watching SSN while my mate did exactly what I just said and kept getting dances off the same girl who he reckons said she'd call him later that night....

This takes me back to when Stig was first on here and used to post about getting blow jobs off women he was managing in an effort to impress the lads. 

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1 minute ago, Jose Jones said:

That was my fault, I accidentally burst them when transferring to the cunt plate.

I have to mention the butter melting issue on the toast, too.  Looks like the toast was left too long before the spread was added.  I can't let it go.

 

But it does look very good overall.  This isn't a negative review.

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1 hour ago, Jose Jones said:

Went round to my mate Ed’s to watch the unmentionable. He was good enough to provide breakfast, not a bad effort.

 

D0224694-9491-4979-ACEA-C1E2A100C9FA.jpeg

Friendly Dragon this Ed ?

1 hour ago, cloggypop said:

This takes me back to when Stig was first on here and used to post about getting blow jobs off women he was managing in an effort to impress the lads. 

I was. You’re only jealous that the last nosh you got was in the bath using your flannel listening to UB40 

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Big Breakfast at Das Bistro, Bali. 

 

Ukranian, Noggie, Belrussian nor British brekkies can hold a candle to this beast. Some of the efforts on this thread make me weep with joy that the UK has fucked off from the EU!

 

2 bratwurst, 6 rashers of Bacon (sent back to crisp up a bit), a haufen Bratkartoffeln, twelvty pan roasted cherry tomatoes and a mound of well cooked fresh mushrooms (none of those canned ones favoured by nonces) and two perfectly fried eggs with runny yolks. As much toasted bread as you can shake a stick at (ignoring the brown bread is for sex offenders jibe, give ya head a wobble) The price...£2.50 with a cappuccino.

 

Ze Germans do it better.

IMG-20210618-WA0005-min (1)-min (1) (1)_2 (1).jpeg

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23 minutes ago, heavyrotation said:

Big Breakfast at Das Bistro, Bali. 

 

Ukranian, Noggie, Belrussian nor British brekkies can hold a candle to this beast. Some of the efforts on this thread make me weep with joy that the UK has fucked off from the EU!

 

2 bratwurst, 6 rashers of Bacon (sent back to crisp up a bit), a haufen Bratkartoffeln, twelvty pan roasted cherry tomatoes and a mound of well cooked fresh mushrooms (none of those canned ones favoured by nonces) and two perfectly fried eggs with runny yolks. As much toasted bread as you can shake a stick at (ignoring the brown bread is for sex offenders jibe, give ya head a wobble) The price...£2.50 with a cappuccino.

 

Ze Germans do it better.

IMG-20210618-WA0005-min (1)-min (1) (1)_2 (1).jpeg

I like how they only cooked half the bacon so you'd die before you noticed that the bread had sat on a radiator for 14 seconds. 

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5 hours ago, heavyrotation said:

Big Breakfast at Das Bistro, Bali. 

 

Ukranian, Noggie, Belrussian nor British brekkies can hold a candle to this beast. Some of the efforts on this thread make me weep with joy that the UK has fucked off from the EU!

 

2 bratwurst, 6 rashers of Bacon (sent back to crisp up a bit), a haufen Bratkartoffeln, twelvty pan roasted cherry tomatoes and a mound of well cooked fresh mushrooms (none of those canned ones favoured by nonces) and two perfectly fried eggs with runny yolks. As much toasted bread as you can shake a stick at (ignoring the brown bread is for sex offenders jibe, give ya head a wobble) The price...£2.50 with a cappuccino.

 

Ze Germans do it better.

IMG-20210618-WA0005-min (1)-min (1) (1)_2 (1).jpeg

Sausages look astoundingly good. The potatoes can do one.

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12 hours ago, Jose Jones said:

Went round to my mate Ed’s to watch the unmentionable. He was good enough to provide breakfast, not a bad effort.

 

D0224694-9491-4979-ACEA-C1E2A100C9FA.jpeg

That should look decent to me, but for some reason I hate it. The important ingredients look good quality and well cooked. Couple of minor flaws elsewhere, but all in all should be well received. Thing is, it’s made me want to make some food and lash my own plate at the wall. It’s the Maya Jama of breakfasts

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8 hours ago, heavyrotation said:

Big Breakfast at Das Bistro, Bali. 

 

Ukranian, Noggie, Belrussian nor British brekkies can hold a candle to this beast. Some of the efforts on this thread make me weep with joy that the UK has fucked off from the EU!

 

2 bratwurst, 6 rashers of Bacon (sent back to crisp up a bit), a haufen Bratkartoffeln, twelvty pan roasted cherry tomatoes and a mound of well cooked fresh mushrooms (none of those canned ones favoured by nonces) and two perfectly fried eggs with runny yolks. As much toasted bread as you can shake a stick at (ignoring the brown bread is for sex offenders jibe, give ya head a wobble) The price...£2.50 with a cappuccino.

 

Ze Germans do it better.

IMG-20210618-WA0005-min (1)-min (1) (1)_2 (1).jpeg

Potatoes. Brown toast. Raw bacon. Green seasoning. Jam.

 

How dare you. How VERY dare you!

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13 hours ago, Jose Jones said:

Went round to my mate Ed’s to watch the unmentionable. He was good enough to provide breakfast, not a bad effort.

 

D0224694-9491-4979-ACEA-C1E2A100C9FA.jpeg

I hate Ed. 
 

This is almost worse than the usual shambles posted on here. At least with those, it’s all shit. No saving graces.

 

The breakfast made by Ed (who I hate) could have been a contender. Sausages look good, the toast a decent effort.


Two black puddings probably indicate an unspoken desire to have you sexually which is sweet, although steer clear of Ed, he’s a cunt. 
 

Serving eggs like that though. A heinous crime. No way I’d be able to eat them as I’d suspect Ed had stuck his penis in them before handing the plate to you. Typical of Ed that. 
 

Hope you told him to fuck off with the water and bring you a second ale instead.

 

Fuck Ed. 

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Nothing to do with breakfasts but does anyone know what happened to the Raoul Moat thread? Can't find it ! Dave better not have deleted it. Me and the missus are babysitting her friends kids this evening at their house so I want something to read. 

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