What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[aRdja]

4 minutes ago, Elite said:

£16?

 

Robbing bastards, well I suppose it's in their DNA.

Daylight. For 1 sausage, 2 eggs, a piece of toast, maybe 2 slices of jamon but probably just one, and some tomatoes and mushrooms. 

[Bjornebye]

4 minutes ago, aRdja said:

That makes sense. I arrived in the UK a bean hater in 2015, and throughout my full english breakfast journey I ended up liking the thing. I haven’t had it since I moved back though. 

I know your portions were always pretty small for 25 quid or whatever but 1 solitary bean is just taking the piss. 

[Elite]

1 minute ago, Bjornebye said:

I know your portions were always pretty small for 25 quid or whatever but 1 solitary bean is just taking the piss. 

Reminded me of this..

 

 

 

 

[Mudface]

5 minutes ago, Elite said:

Reminded me of this..

 

 

 

 

 

[cloggypop]

5 Dollar Sausage 

[General Dryness]

7 hours ago, aRdja said:

A lot of the cafes serve hipster meals like smashed avocado. Some of them do “big breakfast” but not quite the same, as black pudding is a real niche product here, and no one eats beans. You could try get it made to order but it’d end up being very expensive... Let’s use this very popular cafe not far from where I used to live as a case study.

 

http://www.hobba.com.au/menu

 

First you pick “Specialty free range eggs” from the breakfast menu, and that’ll already cost you $11

 

Then you add the sides;

+$5 for Sausage 

+$7 for Jamon (the closest thing to bacon)

+$6 for Mushrooms and blistered trus tomatoes

So that meal would end up costing you $29 (£16) and it’d probably be tasty but not really proper full english.

Jamon? Sorry mate, are you suggesting that Aussies don't eat bacon? Strewth cobber, chuck me a jamon sanger.

 

I'm calling shenanigans on that. Besides which, bacon is clearly mentioned several times on that menu you linked to.

[aRdja]

28 minutes ago, General Dryness said:

Jamon? Sorry mate, are you suggesting that Aussies don't eat bacon? Strewth cobber, chuck me a jamon sanger.

 

I'm calling shenanigans on that. Besides which, bacon is clearly mentioned several times on that menu you linked to.

Of course they do. This particular cafe doesn’t offer it as a side though, unless I’m blind.

[Anubis]

That menu...

 

Ok, can anyone explain to me what a ‘specialty’ free-range egg is?

[Remmie]

2 minutes ago, Anubis said:

That menu...

 

Ok, can anyone explain to me what a ‘specialty’ free-range egg is?

An extra expensive free range egg? 

[Elite]

3 minutes ago, Anubis said:

That menu...

 

Ok, can anyone explain to me what a ‘specialty’ free-range egg is?

The Hen does a backflip immediately before it lays the egg.

[Anubis]

Another one from that menu is wild granola? What? It’s granola. You don’t hunt it down on the plains of the Serengeti.

[Pidge]

1 hour ago, Anubis said:

That menu...

 

Ok, can anyone explain to me what a ‘specialty’ free-range egg is?

I'm assuming from a specialty breed of chicken, one reared for the quality of the eggs, rather than just yield or tolerance of high volume farming. They should probably say what breed(s) if they really want to do it right, but I guess they know the clientele don't really give a shit.

 

*Not a hipster, just an actual yokel.

 

edit: regarding the other one, not sure. Maybe uses wild oats, rather than a domesticated strain? No idea why that's better, might suggest a non-monocultural farming approach, but doubt that's the case.

[Stouffer]

3 hours ago, Pidge said:

I'm assuming from a specialty breed of chicken, one reared for the quality of the eggs, rather than just yield or tolerance of high volume farming. They should probably say what breed(s) if they really want to do it right, but I guess they know the clientele don't really give a shit.

 

*Not a hipster, just an actual yokel.

 

edit: regarding the other one, not sure. Maybe uses wild oats, rather than a domesticated strain? No idea why that's better, might suggest a non-monocultural farming approach, but doubt that's the case.

I don't understand why anyone would choose to use cheap eggs as the difference in quality is huge.

 

Clarence Court, Cotswold Legbar are about the best commercial eggs I reckon.

[Trumo]

11 minutes ago, Stouffer said:

I don't understand why anyone would choose to use cheap eggs as the difference in quality is huge.

 

They cost fuck all and are easier to source, thus boosting the profitability of each breakfast sold.

[General Dryness]

7 hours ago, aRdja said:

Of course they do. This particular cafe doesn’t offer it as a side though, unless I’m blind.

It's in the sides menu.

 

If you're not sure, go elsewhere. Or just have the jamon.

[aRdja]

15 minutes ago, General Dryness said:

It's in the sides menu.

 

If you're not sure, go elsewhere. Or just have the jamon.

Oh yeah you’re right. Weird grouping.

[Bob]

It’s not perfect, obviously, as there’s no beans, but I’m on the slow carb diet so can’t have the sugar in a can of Heinz.

 

so here goes...

 

bacon, 2.5 scrambled eggs, mushrooms, spinach and avo(cado). Liberal splash of tobacco on top.

 

 

[Total Longo]

I expect a backlash, Bob.

[Bob]

The spinach was awful. No place on a breakfast.

[Total Longo]

Also, why did you splash tobacco on it, you deviant?

[Mudface]

Just now, Total Longo said:

Also, why did you splash tobacco on it, you deviant?

Healthier than smoking it I guess.

[YorkshireRed]

18 minutes ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

It’s not perfect, obviously, as there’s no beans, but I’m on the slow carb diet so can’t have the sugar in a can of Heinz.

 

so here goes...

 

bacon, 2.5 scrambled eggs, mushrooms, spinach and avo(cado). Liberal splash of tobacco on top.

 

 

Thanks for doing your bit to return this thread to it’s former glory.

 

After, what seems like decades, of being exposed to a variety of YouTube videos of non posters breakfasts it’s wonderful to see a photo of something as genuinely horrific as this. 

[KMD7]

30 minutes ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

It’s not perfect, obviously, as there’s no beans, but I’m on the slow carb diet so can’t have the sugar in a can of Heinz.

 

so here goes...

 

bacon, 2.5 scrambled eggs, mushrooms, spinach and avo(cado). Liberal splash of tobacco on top.

 

 

Fucking Hell Bob

[Bruce Spanner]

36 minutes ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

It’s not perfect, obviously, as there’s no beans, but I’m on the slow carb diet so can’t have the sugar in a can of Heinz.

 

so here goes...

 

bacon, 2.5 scrambled eggs, mushrooms, spinach and avo(cado). Liberal splash of tobacco on top.

 

 

Are you a middle aged, borderline alcoholic ‘yummy mummy’ with too much disposable income and severe body dysmorphia? 

 

No?

 

Well then you should be ashamed of yourfuckingself.
 

 

[Champ]

What is the point of spinach?