What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[Tony Moanero]

16 minutes ago, Fowlers God said:

The bread looks nice. I’ll have a bacon & egg buttie and sausage & tomato buttie. The hash browns and sorry excuse for mushrooms can go in the bin. 

[TheHowieLama]

The bread --- 

 

[Bjornebye]

38 minutes ago, Fowlers God said:

Looks fit that 

[KMD7]

On 20/01/2021 at 11:31, Ezekiel 25:17 said:

Ha ha he was one mad catfish bastard

[mattyq]

1 hour ago, Fowlers God said:

I'd ditch the hash browns, toast the bread and add some black pudding but otherwise sound effort you pirate bearded deviant

[Fowlers God]

It was fresh tiger bread in my defence and was so fucking soft that it felt wrong to toast it. 
 

whoever mentioned beans on that can get in the fucking bin too. Have some self respect- fuck

[Mudface]

13 minutes ago, Fowlers God said:

It was fresh tiger bread in my defence and was so fucking soft that it felt wrong to toast it. 
 

whoever mentioned beans on that can get in the fucking bin too. Have some self respect- fuck

You got a pic once you'd finished cooking it?

[Barrington Womble]

After a skinful of beer last night, I was prepared for needing a fry up this morning. I woke and was obsessed with the idea of scrambled egg. So I knocked this up. 

 

Scrambled egg, black pudding, tomato & pork sausage, old English pork sausage (both from the butcher's), Ulster fry & bacon. 

 

It hit the spot. 

 

 

[Curly]

On 30/01/2021 at 16:01, Fowlers God said:

Not taking the piss in any way here - have you cooked those mushrooms in any way whatsoever? 
 

Also, a pet hate of mine is getting bread or toast that is unevenly buttered. It’s lazy, and leads me to believe that you would adopt this nonchalant and haphazard approach to other similar functions. I imagine your anus is littered with winnets for example.

[Curly]

22 minutes ago, Barrington Womble said:

After a skinful of beer last night, I was prepared for needing a fry up this morning. I woke and was obsessed with the idea of scrambled egg. So I knocked this up. 

 

Scrambled egg, black pudding, tomato & pork sausage, old English pork sausage (both from the butcher's), Ulster fry & bacon. 

 

It hit the spot. 

 

 

Hmmm. Where’s the moisture coming from? The eggs are over scrambled, the black pudding dryer than a camel’s hoof and those weird red sausages look like dog dicks. 
 

To summarise, I hope the spot you refer to it hitting was on the wall after you lashed it.

[Barrington Womble]

8 minutes ago, belarus said:

Hmmm. Where’s the moisture coming from? The eggs are over scrambled, the black pudding dryer than a camel’s hoof and those weird red sausages look like dog dicks. 
 

To summarise, I hope the spot you refer to it hitting was on the wall after you lashed it.

I didn't want to much moisture to be fair, I am a beaner in normal situations, but they were not a flavour I could consider with my hangover. All the moisture I needed came from the 2 cups of tea, glass of orange and litre of water! 

[Curly]

4 minutes ago, Barrington Womble said:

I didn't want to much moisture to be fair, I am a beaner in normal situations, but they were not a flavour I could consider with my hangover. All the moisture I needed came from the 2 cups of tea, glass of orange and litre of water! 

Edit - I tried to make another quip, but that is more than acceptable as a response to be fair. I’ve got a little hangover myself, so can empathise

[s(k)aturation]

Belarus is cooking breakfast for us all - correctly - next weekend after our respective bottles of whiskey the night before.

 

 

[Harry's Lad]

My breakfast this morning cooked by Mrs HL consisted of 3 rashers of very nice bacon, 2 lovely thick meaty pork sausages and a nicely fried egg, let down by there being no beans or hash browns and the toast for the first time ever with a cooked breakfast cut diagonally so I couldn't make a proper butty.

 

This is unacceptable and she has been suitably reprimanded.

[YorkshireRed]

53 minutes ago, Barrington Womble said:

After a skinful of beer last night, I was prepared for needing a fry up this morning. I woke and was obsessed with the idea of scrambled egg. So I knocked this up. 

 

Scrambled egg, black pudding, tomato & pork sausage, old English pork sausage (both from the butcher's), Ulster fry & bacon. 

 

It hit the spot. 

 

 

In my limited experience, partaking in the consumption of a “skinful of beer” leaves one with a mouth like a piece of rusty corrugated iron the next morning. As has been mentioned earlier, the lack of moisture in this ‘effort’ will do nothing to help with this. You fail to mention what you will be washing this down with so I can now only assume that you are close to death with dehydration. Some might say this is the least you deserve, not me obviously.

 

I’ve no time for those tomato and pork sausages. Smacks of someone struggling with defining ‘who they are’, ‘why are they here’, ‘what’s the point of it all. I’m not saying I have the answers to those questions but it definitely isn’t ‘tomato and pork sausages.

 

The normal persons sausages looks nice. 
 

Fuck off with the no beans attitude. You don’t strike me as a socially inadequate buffoon, but the lack of beans makes me wonder if I’ve got you all wrong. 
 

Edit: I note that you addressed the lack of moisture point as I was reviewing your breakfast. Too little, too late. 

[Curly]

5 minutes ago, skaro said:

Belarus is cooking breakfast for us all - correctly - next weekend after our respective bottles of whiskey the night before.

 

 

I fucking will. Just you wait.

[Curly]

5 minutes ago, Harry's Lad said:

My breakfast this morning cooked by Mrs HL consisted of 3 rashers of very nice bacon, 2 lovely thick meaty pork sausages and a nicely fried egg, let down by there being no beans or hash browns and the toast for the first time ever with a cooked breakfast cut diagonally so I couldn't make a proper butty.

 

This is unacceptable and she has been suitably reprimanded.

I’ve repped this for a couple of reasons:

 

1 - taking the effort to write a description in the absence of a picture

 

2 - even without a picture it still looks better than Stig’s effort

[Barrington Womble]

3 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

In my limited experience, partaking in the consumption of a “skinful of beer” leaves one with a mouth like a piece of rusty corrugated iron the next morning. As has been mentioned earlier, the lack of moisture in this ‘effort’ will do nothing to help with this. You fail to mention what you will be washing this down with so I can now only assume that you are close to death with dehydration. Some might say this is the least you deserve, not me obviously.

 

I’ve no time for those tomato and pork sausages. Smacks of someone struggling with defining ‘who they are’, ‘why are they her’, ‘what’s the point of it all. I’m not saying I have the answers to those questions but it definitely isn’t ‘tomato and pork sausages.

 

The normal persons sausages looks nice. 
 

Fuck off with the no beans attitude. You don’t strike me as a socially inadequate buffoon, but the lack of beans makes me wonder if I’ve got you all wrong. 

As I mentioned in another post, I am very much a pro-beaner, but they wouldn't have been working for me today. You are so wrong about the tomato and pork sausage. They are brilliant. 

[Tony Moanero]

3 minutes ago, Barrington Womble said:

As I mentioned in another post, I am very much a pro-beaner, but they wouldn't have been working for me today. You are so wrong about the tomato and pork sausage. They are brilliant. 

I’d rather have my sausage and tomato separate. 

[Barrington Womble]

2 minutes ago, Tony Moanero said:

I’d rather have my sausage and tomato separate. 

That's the kind of thinking of that would mean beans aren't invented. 

[Tony Moanero]

1 minute ago, Barrington Womble said:

That's the kind of thinking of that would mean beans aren't invented. 

I wish!

[Bjornebye]

4 hours ago, belarus said:

I’ve repped this for a couple of reasons:

 

1 - taking the effort to write a description in the absence of a picture

 

2 - even without a picture it still looks better than Stig’s effort

If you go back through the thread I actually had the best breakfast ever posted on here. No not the one with the fish. 

[Bjornebye]

5 hours ago, Barrington Womble said:

After a skinful of beer last night, I was prepared for needing a fry up this morning. I woke and was obsessed with the idea of scrambled egg. So I knocked this up. 

 

Scrambled egg, black pudding, tomato & pork sausage, old English pork sausage (both from the butcher's), Ulster fry & bacon. 

 

It hit the spot. 

 

 

I'd smash that everywhere. When you said hit the spot you meant the G Spot and it was the second sausage in from the left. 

I fully get it. 

[Bjornebye]

6 minutes ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

You do have the answer literally on your doorstep, it’s coke, lesbians and magicians. 

Exactly. Whereas you've got biddies, OAP's and widows underneath yours. 

[TheHowieLama]

1 hour ago, Bjornebye said:

I'd smash that everywhere. When you said hit the spot you meant the G Spot and it was the second sausage in from the left. 

I fully get it.