What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[Barrington Womble]

22 minutes ago, Stouffer said:

Plenty of pepper on the eggs, just the way I like it.

I'd have preferred more but it was hard work getting that much on!

[Curly]

9 hours ago, lifetime fan said:

Reckon I can do worse than Kurtz. 
 

Had to make the bird a ‘slimming world fry up’ this morning. 
 

 

 

How did she manage to get the beans so dry? Did she put them between some kitchen roll before putting them on the plate, as if she had been rinsing lettuce? Or maybe tipped them in her mouth, sucked the sauce off and spat them out? Either way, shame on her and you both. 

[Curly]

2 hours ago, The Gaul said:

Disappointed this morning. I was having breakfast in town before a day out to watch tonight's CL final. So we were hoping to try somewhere new, we ended up in sharaz through lack of decent choice. It was shite. Raw bacon, too many beans, biscuit style back pudding. The only good thing I'd say is the sausages were at their normal standard. My mate had a vegetarian breakfast that came with bacon! Haha. 3/10 for me. It used to be one of the best in town. 

Fucking hell - do you want any eggs with your pepper?

 

That bacon looks fucking shite. Like that chewy fat that gets stuck in between your teeth. 
 

I like beans, but that’s too many.

 

I like hash browns, but not on a proper breakfast. 
 

Why have they put a raw tomato on a cooked breakfast?

 

Can you post the picture of the plate after you lashed it on the floor and tipped the table?

[Bjornebye]

2 hours ago, The Gaul said:

Disappointed this morning. I was having breakfast in town before a day out to watch tonight's CL final. So we were hoping to try somewhere new, we ended up in sharaz through lack of decent choice. It was shite. Raw bacon, too many beans, biscuit style back pudding. The only good thing I'd say is the sausages were at their normal standard. My mate had a vegetarian breakfast that came with bacon! Haha. 3/10 for me. It used to be one of the best in town. 

I hope you smashed the place up 

[Trumo]

Mpupu sad.

[Tony Moanero]

That plate is a disgrace, it’s like a massive ashtray.

[Mudface]

2 minutes ago, Tony Moanero said:

That plate is a disgrace, it’s like a massive littertray.

.

[TheBitch]

The black pudding though. Look how thin it is.

[Bjornebye]

When did everyone just stop cooking their bacon? 

 

Thats not a euphemism 

[Stouffer]

Woodland Cafe at Santon Bridge just down the road from mine.

 

£9.95 including tea/coffee/juice and a shit ton of toast.

 

Bewley's Cumberland sausage which is very good, the black pudding was ace too but the bacon was a bit undercooked. 

 

On the beans can NCND if they were eaten.

 

Ratings as follows.

 

Rupert aka Crackers McKnackers 7/10

Frank aka Ronnie Hotdogs 10/10

Mrs Stouffer aka Tits McPudding 8/10

Me 7/10. 

 

[TheHowieLama]

One egg?

 

One Sausage?

 

Didn't they have anything that wasn't off the childrens menu?

[Bjornebye]

it’s not the worst looking thing ever apart from them beans. The toast not being already buttered is the main reason to blow the place up here. 

[YorkshireRed]

10 minutes ago, Stouffer said:

Woodland Cafe at Santon Bridge just down the road from mine.

 

£9.95 including tea/coffee/juice and a shit ton of toast.

 

Bewley's Cumberland sausage which is very good, the black pudding was ace too but the bacon was a bit undercooked. 

 

On the beans can NCND if they were eaten.

 

Ratings as follows.

 

Rupert aka Crackers McKnackers 7/10

Frank aka Ronnie Hotdogs 10/10

Mrs Stouffer aka Tits McPudding 8/10

Me 7/10. 

 

There’s a lot to admire in this photo. Nothing on the breakfast plate obviously but still...

[cloggypop]

Too triangular. 

[Bjornebye]

2 minutes ago, cloggypop said:

Too triangular. 

It’s so pretentious isn’t it. Bourgeois fucking beauts. 

[Tony Moanero]

38 minutes ago, Stouffer said:

 

Bacon, sausage and black pudding look pretty good. Nice egg, too. Tomato is undercooked and the mushrooms look greasy. Far too little of everything, though. I’d have two order two breakfasts and that would be an eye-watering £20!

[Numero Veinticinco]

That toast looks great. The tomato should be part of a salad not a cooked breakfast on account of it not seeing any fucking heat. Not sure why somebody spunked on the bacon. Egg looks good. 

[cloggypop]

The toast doesn't look great, it looks dry, unbuttered and triangular. 

[Ezekiel 25:17]

The white shit you get on bacon is when it's cheap ass bacon and pumped with shit.

[Elite]

Not the best breakfast but it looks edible, which makes it better than the majority posted on this thread.

[Numero Veinticinco]

1 minute ago, cloggypop said:

The toast doesn't look great, it looks dry, unbuttered and triangular. 

Wow. What a criticism that is. It looks dry? It looks fucking dry!? Bloody hell. Oh how we long for wet toast. It's almost as if the entire fucking process of toasting something is done with the intention of drying it out. As for unbuttered... well, yes. That's what happens before buttering toast. That's what the butter is for. They don't put it on because they don't want soggy toast. Don't get me started on the fucking oiks who want to start some sort of class war over cutting toast down the middle. 

 

Genuinely the worst post you've ever made. You're welcome to your soggy toast rectangles. 

 

 

[Strontium]

Soggy Toast Rectangles is the experimental acid jazz trio we never knew we needed.

 

People are far too harsh with their breakfast criticisms these days. That's a perfectly acceptable plate.

[TheHowieLama]

French toast is lovely and moist

[cloggypop]

Numerous is obviously such a centrist snob that he doesn't put bits of brekkie in his toast and fold then eat it. Fucking triangles. 

[cloggypop]

1 minute ago, TheHowieLama said:

French toast is lovely and moist

It's eggy bread you blert.