What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[PestiRed]

5 minutes ago, Jairzinho said:

Weren't you put off by the child's fingers?

no, as mentioned they tasted German so I figured they were fair game

[Jairzinho]

Yeah. When in Rhine.

[cloggypop]

The Rhine flows down to here and I can't buy a decent breakfast either. Looks a decent effort considering. 

[Trumo]

Even more alarming than the extortionate prices of these breakfasts is the feeling that the cook has either given up on life, or is an ex-felon stuck in a demeaning job as a short order cook, but secretly itching for some action and the chance of one last big payday like the guy in Heat.

[Evelyn Tentions]

Nowt wrong with kippers for breakfast especially with fresh bread and good quality butter. At least no cunt tries slathering them with fucking beans

[YorkshireRed]

1 hour ago, PestiRed said:

Right, get your negs ready.

 

A little pre-amble. A french breakfast/brunch place has opened over the road from me and we’ve been going at the weekend for the last few weeks. It’s posh and a little over-priced. They do an amazing eggs benedict, American pancake and salty waffini. You can’t get an English breakfast in Hungary - the ingredients simply don’t exist- however it was on the menu so I though I’d try it out, mainly to post here

 

 

 

It cost £12 which is roughly 2-3 times I would normally pay for a breakfast here. As well as the plate of food, it cam with a freshly squeezed orange juice, a choice of tea or coffee (including cappuccinos, lattes etc) and a basket of sliced baguette (good bread made in-house but clearly not toast).
 

The eggs and bacon were perfect. The sausage was obviously not British (closer to a Stuttgart) and far too small but I was half-expecting to be given a frankfurter so not a complete disaster. The black pudding was actually a German blutwurst - nice but not black pudding. I don’t know what the tiny hash brown type thing was about. Mushrooms and tomatoes were cooked well. No idea what the green stuff was there for, it wasn’t mentioned on the menu.

 

If I’d been served this in England I would be upset and rate it about 4/10. In Hungary it rates as a great attempt and gets 8/10

 

just as a side-note, beans were offered but I declined because I’m not a scruffy bastard

Hope you had a pint of Palinka with it! Needed to get over the embarrassment of having cocktail sausages, bean sprouts and mashed hash brown for breakfast. 

 

To provide balance, the eggs look good. Black pudding a bit small but reasonable. Bacon is always shit in Eastern Europe but this looks ok.
 

C+ out of 10.  
 

 

[cloggypop]

You dirty get. 

[Jairzinho]

Is that ham?

[mgw100]

I like my black pudding cooked

[Mudface]

What did it look like after you'd cooked it?

 

That would give me a hangover, or at least food poisoning.

[TheHowieLama]

Was just about to rip Pesti's offering  then Blurtz shows up with a Boiled  Breakfast.

 

Sheesh.

[Bruce Spanner]

21 minutes ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

Here is today’s hangover effort. Do you worst. 

The worst has already been done, the rest is purely academic.

 

Fuck, that looks bad. 
 

This is what they’ll serve up at the re-education camps post Brexit.

[Numero Veinticinco]

17 minutes ago, Jairzinho said:

Is that ham?

Nah, I think those are eggs. 
 

Edit: Oh, you mean the boiled bacon. 

[Mudface]

Did you microwave that bacon, Kurtz? I've already called the police, but that would tip it over into a crime against humanity.

[YorkshireRed]

28 minutes ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

Here is today’s hangover effort. Do you worst. 

I was in quite a good mood. Heading out in a bit for some afternoon drinks in the sun. Popped in here to kill a few minutes before I need to leave. Saw this. Day ruined.

 

Tory cunt.  

[Mudface]

Please stop quoting the post, I've just realised he's put red sauce on it, the filthy cunt.

[Tony Moanero]

1 hour ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

Here is today’s hangover effort. Do you worst. 

Did you cook that on an A La Cart Kitchen?

 

[cloggypop]

I'd rather see the Pet Shop Boys after party than that. 

[mgw100]

I'd rather be the Pet Shop Boys after party than that. 

[Anubis]

Black pudding looks overcooked but black pudding can be deceptive, even when cooked well, so I’ll let that pass.

 

But the bacon looks like it was wafted at a radiator from across the room for ten seconds each side, and tomato sauce, man, tomato sauce...

 

At least there are no beans.

[Bjornebye]

2 hours ago, PestiRed said:

Right, get your negs ready.

 

A little pre-amble. A french breakfast/brunch place has opened over the road from me and we’ve been going at the weekend for the last few weeks. It’s posh and a little over-priced. They do an amazing eggs benedict, American pancake and salty waffini. You can’t get an English breakfast in Hungary - the ingredients simply don’t exist- however it was on the menu so I though I’d try it out, mainly to post here

 

I’ll mark you up for it being in Hungary and also no beans. It’s far from the worst effort in here and I suppose it was nice of the chef to have a shit on it before they served it to you. What’s with the gold all over the plate and mug? Posh cunt. 5/10

1 hour ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

Here is today’s hangover effort. Do you worst. 

Guck me Terry Waite got better breakfasts than that. This is the ‘what constitutes the Perfect COOKED breakfast thread’ you scruffy twat. I assume you just ate the beans out of the tin 

[TheHowieLama]

#hungryinhungary

[Elite]

1 hour ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

Here is today’s hangover effort. Do you worst. 

It's that bad, even the sausage has killed itself.

[mattyq]

1 hour ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

Here is today’s hangover effort. Do you worst. 

That looks genuinely disgusting

And then you notice the ketchup

[Paulie Dangerously]

3 hours ago, PestiRed said:

Right, get your negs ready.

 

A little pre-amble. A french breakfast/brunch place has opened over the road from me and we’ve been going at the weekend for the last few weeks. It’s posh and a little over-priced. They do an amazing eggs benedict, American pancake and salty waffini. You can’t get an English breakfast in Hungary - the ingredients simply don’t exist- however it was on the menu so I though I’d try it out, mainly to post here

 

 

 

It cost £12 which is roughly 2-3 times I would normally pay for a breakfast here. As well as the plate of food, it cam with a freshly squeezed orange juice, a choice of tea or coffee (including cappuccinos, lattes etc) and a basket of sliced baguette (good bread made in-house but clearly not toast).
 

The eggs and bacon were perfect. The sausage was obviously not British (closer to a Stuttgart) and far too small but I was half-expecting to be given a frankfurter so not a complete disaster. The black pudding was actually a German blutwurst - nice but not black pudding. I don’t know what the tiny hash brown type thing was about. Mushrooms and tomatoes were cooked well. No idea what the green stuff was there for, it wasn’t mentioned on the menu.

 

If I’d been served this in England I would be upset and rate it about 4/10. In Hungary it rates as a great attempt and gets 8/10

 

just as a side-note, beans were offered but I declined because I’m not a scruffy bastard

Negged for salad. Was that mug designed for one of Jeremy Beadle's hands?