What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[Remmie]

De Parys hotel in Bedford.

Full vegetarian breakfast, included with the room price but observed on the menu that it was £8 (£9 for a meat one) otherwise.

Naturally I opted out of having cunt plasma off my plate but ruefully neglected to swap it out with something else.

 

Ingredients:

Toast: Underdone and unbuttered, without even an option of adding butter myself. It was a decent quality sliced brown though.

Eggs: At least the yoke was runny but these were truly the Freddy Krueger editions with all the edges having a thick fried crust which ain't my bag, cooked too quickly in my opinion.

Portobello mushroom: Not bad, maybe a bit too watery

Half a tomato: Passable.

Veggie sausages: I don't mind these sort of sausages generally, they aren't the finest but I can abide them. They don't work with a breakfast though, too crumbly.

Hidden under the sausages was roast pepper, a bizarre but pleasant enough inclusion.

Hash fucking brown: NOT listed as an ingredient in the breakfast, a hugely unwelcome interloper that had no right being there. Gave it to my wife and got another tomato in exchange, she said it was pretty good and not too greasy.

Cup of tea I made myself with some posh teabag, it was very good tea to be fair.

2.75/10 - I've firebombed the place and began torturing the family of the dishwasher who's day off was today.

[Strontium]

I agree that Glamorgan-type sausages don't really belong on a breakfast

I'd eat it all happily, though I feel it needs more legumes.

[TheHowieLama]

There is nothing on that plate I would feed my dog.

 

And he is hungry.

Easily the worst brekkie posted this year.

 

Had one at the pub for the match yesterday will post when I get time.

[Stouffer]

That isn't toast, its bread sans butter.

 

Somehow those veggie "sausages" have died of natural causes. 

[cloggypop]

Call me fussy but sausages of any description shouldn't have green bits. 

[General Dryness]

1 hour ago, cloggypop said:

Call me fussy but sausages of any description shouldn't have green bits. 

And the lord spake, and did sayeth "Hey Moses, you forgot one of these stone things, the one that says 'Thou Shalt Not Include Anything Green On Thine Breakfast'. Oh never mind, it's just common sense that one".

[johnsusername]

Decent fry up at the Tavern yesterday. Swapped the mushroom for extra black pudding. Lovely stuff. 

[TheBitch]

@Remmie

 

Would have been edible with beans. Sadly you’ve opted out for some bizarre reason. 

 

Negged. 

[TheBitch]

5 minutes ago, johnsusername said:

Decent fry up at the Tavern yesterday. Swapped the mushroom for extra black pudding. Lovely stuff. 

No picture. Negged. 

[sir roger]

4 hours ago, cloggypop said:

Call me fussy but sausages of any description shouldn't have green bits. 

I thought it was Groot

[Evelyn Tentions]

On 18/01/2020 at 15:42, viRdjil said:

Sad times.

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2020/jan/18/fry-up-toast-full-breakfast-death-demise?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

 

 

He's from Salford. No more need be said.

[TheBitch]

The Mountain cafe. Aviemore. Scotland. 

 

Probably the most expensive breakfast I’ve ever had apart from one I had in Byron Bay. 

 

Everything was cooked to perfection. Some may have wanted the fat on the bacon to have been a little crisper but I’m not fussy with that.

 

I’m not normally a fan of beef sausages but these were very, very tasty. 

 

The black pudding was an absolute show stopper. It’s Grants of Speyside, and for me is as good and possibly even better than Stornaway which is consistently a people’s favourite. I’ve taken to bagging some up for myself from a butchers the last couple of times I’ve been to Scotland. 

 

The beans were tasty, well cooked and the sauce nicely thickened, as everyone knows they’re a staple part of any good all day breakfast. 

 

The hash brown was tasty, probably even more tasty because I know somewhere on planet earth Remmie will have sensed that hash brown on my plate and a little part of him will have died, for me Clive, you can’t put a price on that. 

 

The toast (not pictured) was a single solitary slice of something like a Hovis seed sensation. It was probably just shown a toaster and that was it, Lifey would have been fuming, I’d have liked another slice and for it to be a bit more than warm bread but once again I’m not overly arsed.

 

Tea not included £1.90

 

Service was great, the girl serving (not pictured) had a very pert, round bottom, extra point for that. 

 

The ambiance of the place was great and the views on a good day over to the Cairngorm mountains are worth an extra couple of quid on the price. 

 

All in all all I give it 8.9 bitches out of 10. Expensive but great location and real good quality food. 

 

[Remmie]

6 minutes ago, TheBitch said:

The Mountain cafe. Aviemore. Scotland. 

 

Probably the most expensive breakfast I’ve ever had apart from one I had in Byron Bay. 

 

Everything was cooked to perfection. Some may have wanted the fat on the bacon to have been a little crisper but I’m not fussy with that.

 

I’m not normally a fan of beef sausages but these were very, very tasty. 

 

The black pudding was an absolute show stopper. It’s Grants of Speyside, and for me is as good and possibly even better than Stornaway which is consistently a people’s favourite. I’ve taken to bagging some up for myself from a butchers the last couple of times I’ve been to Scotland. 

 

The beans were tasty, well cooked and the sauce nicely thickened, as everyone knows they’re a staple part of any good all day breakfast. 

 

The hash brown was tasty, probably even more tasty because I know somewhere on planet earth Remmie will have sensed that hash brown on my plate and a little part of him will have died, for me Clive, you can’t put a price on that. 

 

The toast (not pictured) was a single solitary slice of something like a Hovis seed sensation. It was probably just shown a toaster and that was it, Lifey would have been fuming, I’d have liked another slice and for it to be a bit more than warm bread but once again I’m not overly arsed.

 

Tea not included £1.90

 

Service was great, the girl serving (not pictured) had a very pert, round bottom, extra point for that. 

 

The ambiance of the place was great and the views on a good day over to the Cairngorm mountains are worth an extra couple of quid on the price. 

 

All in all all I give it 8.9 bitches out of 10. Expensive but great location and real good quality food. 

 

Beans are a far worse hate crime than hash browns. Hash browns are as dull as an accountant named Graham that likes Bowls and plane spotting, whereas beans are the edible version of genocide.

 

Repped for using spite in your breakfast decisions though.

[KMD7]

On ‎20‎/‎01‎/‎2020 at 12:22, Remmie said:

De Parys hotel in Bedford.

Full vegetarian breakfast, included with the room price but observed on the menu that it was £8 (£9 for a meat one) otherwise.

Naturally I opted out of having cunt plasma off my plate but ruefully neglected to swap it out with something else.

 

Ingredients:

Toast: Underdone and unbuttered, without even an option of adding butter myself. It was a decent quality sliced brown though.

Eggs: At least the yoke was runny but these were truly the Freddy Krueger editions with all the edges having a thick fried crust which ain't my bag, cooked too quickly in my opinion.

Portobello mushroom: Not bad, maybe a bit too watery

Half a tomato: Passable.

Veggie sausages: I don't mind these sort of sausages generally, they aren't the finest but I can abide them. They don't work with a breakfast though, too crumbly.

Hidden under the sausages was roast pepper, a bizarre but pleasant enough inclusion.

Hash fucking brown: NOT listed as an ingredient in the breakfast, a hugely unwelcome interloper that had no right being there. Gave it to my wife and got another tomato in exchange, she said it was pretty good and not too greasy.

Cup of tea I made myself with some posh teabag, it was very good tea to be fair.

2.75/10 - I've firebombed the place and began torturing the family of the dishwasher who's day off was today.

Fucking Hell Rem, I mean....Fucking Hell

[Trumo]

41 minutes ago, TheBitch said:

The Mountain cafe. Aviemore. Scotland. 

 

Probably the most expensive breakfast I’ve ever had apart from one I had in Byron Bay. 

 

Everything was cooked to perfection. Some may have wanted the fat on the bacon to have been a little crisper but I’m not fussy with that.

 

I’m not normally a fan of beef sausages but these were very, very tasty. 

 

The black pudding was an absolute show stopper. It’s Grants of Speyside, and for me is as good and possibly even better than Stornaway which is consistently a people’s favourite. I’ve taken to bagging some up for myself from a butchers the last couple of times I’ve been to Scotland. 

 

The beans were tasty, well cooked and the sauce nicely thickened, as everyone knows they’re a staple part of any good all day breakfast. 

 

The hash brown was tasty, probably even more tasty because I know somewhere on planet earth Remmie will have sensed that hash brown on my plate and a little part of him will have died, for me Clive, you can’t put a price on that. 

 

The toast (not pictured) was a single solitary slice of something like a Hovis seed sensation. It was probably just shown a toaster and that was it, Lifey would have been fuming, I’d have liked another slice and for it to be a bit more than warm bread but once again I’m not overly arsed.

 

Tea not included £1.90

 

Service was great, the girl serving (not pictured) had a very pert, round bottom, extra point for that. 

 

The ambiance of the place was great and the views on a good day over to the Cairngorm mountains are worth an extra couple of quid on the price. 

 

All in all all I give it 8.9 bitches out of 10. Expensive but great location and real good quality food. 

 

 

The should be putting beans first in the description because that is a plate of beans with a few added extras.

[johnsusername]

1 hour ago, TheBitch said:

The black pudding was an absolute show stopper.  

 

Quote of the year 2020. 

[General Dryness]

2 hours ago, TheBitch said:

The Mountain cafe. Aviemore. Scotland. 

 

Probably the most expensive breakfast I’ve ever had apart from one I had in Byron Bay. 

 

Everything was cooked to perfection. Some may have wanted the fat on the bacon to have been a little crisper but I’m not fussy with that.

 

I’m not normally a fan of beef sausages but these were very, very tasty. 

 

The black pudding was an absolute show stopper. It’s Grants of Speyside, and for me is as good and possibly even better than Stornaway which is consistently a people’s favourite. I’ve taken to bagging some up for myself from a butchers the last couple of times I’ve been to Scotland. 

 

The beans were tasty, well cooked and the sauce nicely thickened, as everyone knows they’re a staple part of any good all day breakfast. 

 

The hash brown was tasty, probably even more tasty because I know somewhere on planet earth Remmie will have sensed that hash brown on my plate and a little part of him will have died, for me Clive, you can’t put a price on that. 

 

The toast (not pictured) was a single solitary slice of something like a Hovis seed sensation. It was probably just shown a toaster and that was it, Lifey would have been fuming, I’d have liked another slice and for it to be a bit more than warm bread but once again I’m not overly arsed.

 

Tea not included £1.90

 

Service was great, the girl serving (not pictured) had a very pert, round bottom, extra point for that. 

 

The ambiance of the place was great and the views on a good day over to the Cairngorm mountains are worth an extra couple of quid on the price. 

 

All in all all I give it 8.9 bitches out of 10. Expensive but great location and real good quality food. 

 

Negged for eating a hash brown to spite Remmie, whilst simultaneously ignoring my own hatred of the said item.

 

Fuck you, bitch. Fuck you.

[Bjornebye]

2 hours ago, Trumo said:

 

The should be putting beans first in the description because that is a plate of beans with a few added extras.

This. They have sprinkled heroin around the plate as well because only a junkie would eat that. 

[sh#t waffle]

3 hours ago, TheBitch said:

The Mountain cafe. Aviemore. Scotland. 

 

Probably the most expensive breakfast I’ve ever had apart from one I had in Byron Bay. 

 

Everything was cooked to perfection. Some may have wanted the fat on the bacon to have been a little crisper but I’m not fussy with that.

 

I’m not normally a fan of beef sausages but these were very, very tasty. 

 

The black pudding was an absolute show stopper. It’s Grants of Speyside, and for me is as good and possibly even better than Stornaway which is consistently a people’s favourite. I’ve taken to bagging some up for myself from a butchers the last couple of times I’ve been to Scotland. 

 

The beans were tasty, well cooked and the sauce nicely thickened, as everyone knows they’re a staple part of any good all day breakfast. 

 

The hash brown was tasty, probably even more tasty because I know somewhere on planet earth Remmie will have sensed that hash brown on my plate and a little part of him will have died, for me Clive, you can’t put a price on that. 

 

The toast (not pictured) was a single solitary slice of something like a Hovis seed sensation. It was probably just shown a toaster and that was it, Lifey would have been fuming, I’d have liked another slice and for it to be a bit more than warm bread but once again I’m not overly arsed.

 

Tea not included £1.90

 

Service was great, the girl serving (not pictured) had a very pert, round bottom, extra point for that. 

 

The ambiance of the place was great and the views on a good day over to the Cairngorm mountains are worth an extra couple of quid on the price. 

 

All in all all I give it 8.9 bitches out of 10. Expensive but great location and real good quality food. 

 

Looks very decent, though beef sausages completely suck. 

[General Dryness]

1 minute ago, sh#t waffle said:

Looks very decent, though beef sausages completely suck. 

Yeah, that's another thing. Pork sausages on a breakfast. I'd neg the fucker again if I could.

[cloggypop]

12 quid for eggy bread with a load of fruity shite it doesn't need. Fucking cheeky gets. 

[TheBitch]

37 minutes ago, General Dryness said:

Negged for eating a hash brown to spite Remmie, whilst simultaneously ignoring my own hatred of the said item.

 

Fuck you, bitch. Fuck you.

I was actually gonna mention you in it too but kept it to Remoir. 

[Tony Moanero]

3 hours ago, TheBitch said:

 

Everything served on top of beans! Farmfoods frozen hash brown. Half an undercooked tomato, one crispy fried egg, a single slice of toast and just the one slice of black pudding. How many rashers of bacon? £11.90! Robbing bastards!

[aRdja]

3 hours ago, TheBitch said:

The Mountain cafe. Aviemore. Scotland. 

 

Probably the most expensive breakfast I’ve ever had apart from one I had in Byron Bay. 

 

Everything was cooked to perfection. Some may have wanted the fat on the bacon to have been a little crisper but I’m not fussy with that.

 

I’m not normally a fan of beef sausages but these were very, very tasty. 

 

The black pudding was an absolute show stopper. It’s Grants of Speyside, and for me is as good and possibly even better than Stornaway which is consistently a people’s favourite. I’ve taken to bagging some up for myself from a butchers the last couple of times I’ve been to Scotland. 

 

The beans were tasty, well cooked and the sauce nicely thickened, as everyone knows they’re a staple part of any good all day breakfast. 

 

The hash brown was tasty, probably even more tasty because I know somewhere on planet earth Remmie will have sensed that hash brown on my plate and a little part of him will have died, for me Clive, you can’t put a price on that. 

 

The toast (not pictured) was a single solitary slice of something like a Hovis seed sensation. It was probably just shown a toaster and that was it, Lifey would have been fuming, I’d have liked another slice and for it to be a bit more than warm bread but once again I’m not overly arsed.

 

Tea not included £1.90

 

Service was great, the girl serving (not pictured) had a very pert, round bottom, extra point for that. 

 

The ambiance of the place was great and the views on a good day over to the Cairngorm mountains are worth an extra couple of quid on the price. 

 

All in all all I give it 8.9 bitches out of 10. Expensive but great location and real good quality food. 

 

Could you have added Haggis out of interest?

[aRdja]

3 hours ago, TheBitch said:

The black pudding was an absolute show stopper. It’s Grants of Speyside, and for me is as good and possibly even better than Stornaway which is consistently a people’s favourite. I’ve taken to bagging some up for myself from a butchers the last couple of times I’ve been to Scotland. 

I prefer my black pudding oaty as opposed to cakey (hate morcilla), hence my fav black pudding make is Clonakilty of County Cork. Lovely stuff.