What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[KMD7]

7 hours ago, Spy Bee said:

1 bacon

2 sausage

segregation beans

mushrooms

fried egg

sour dough toast

half a small tomato

flat white

£9.50

 

Wank!

 

Big hole in the middle of the plate where black pudding and something made of potato should be. The egg was undercooked with some of the white bit still runny. The sausages were nice, if a bit fatty. The bacon was good, but one fucking rasher? 

 

I won't be rushing back.

 

Anyway, it's lined my stomach before I got to the pub to watch repeats of old test matches whilst it pisses down at Old Trafford!

State of that egg.

 

[Bob]

This mornings breakfast. Took my little girl out for as its her birthday party later.

 

nice little cafe in Wetherby.

 

she had two poached eggs on toast, I had the basic full English with no added extras.

 

£5.95 for mine. Could’ve added black pudding and a second egg, but wasn’t hungry enough so didn’t.

 

all in, mine, hers, a coffee and two orange juices for £11. Happy with that.

 

Sausages were ace. Egg was nice. Two slices of brown toast with butter not in the picture. Arrived uncut, so I sliced into triangles cause I’m middle class.

 

spot on.

[Pureblood]

[Tony Moanero]

58 minutes ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

 

 

[Pureblood]

[KMD7]

1 hour ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

This mornings breakfast. Took my little girl out for as its her birthday party later.

 

nice little cafe in Wetherby.

 

she had two poached eggs on toast, I had the basic full English with no added extras.

 

£5.95 for mine. Could’ve added black pudding and a second egg, but wasn’t hungry enough so didn’t.

 

all in, mine, hers, a coffee and two orange juices for £11. Happy with that.

 

Sausages were ace. Egg was nice. Two slices of brown toast with butter not in the picture. Arrived uncut, so I sliced into triangles cause I’m middle class.

 

spot on.

Perfectly fine that for the price. Everything looks well cooked.

[Pureblood]

The beans are outta control.  If they were a movie they'd be the 80s remake of the The Blob.   There's Kevin Dillon trying to escape on a motorbike.

[General Dryness]

2 hours ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

This mornings breakfast. Took my little girl out for as its her birthday party later.

 

nice little cafe in Wetherby.

 

she had two poached eggs on toast, I had the basic full English with no added extras.

 

£5.95 for mine. Could’ve added black pudding and a second egg, but wasn’t hungry enough so didn’t.

 

all in, mine, hers, a coffee and two orange juices for £11. Happy with that.

 

Sausages were ace. Egg was nice. Two slices of brown toast with butter not in the picture. Arrived uncut, so I sliced into triangles cause I’m middle class.

 

spot on.

Rep from Ardja there. He'd have paid his life savings and his first born son for that.

[Dougie Do'ins]

7 hours ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

This mornings breakfast. Took my little girl out for as its her birthday party later.

 

nice little cafe in Wetherby.

 

she had two poached eggs on toast, I had the basic full English with no added extras.

 

£5.95 for mine. Could’ve added black pudding and a second egg, but wasn’t hungry enough so didn’t.

 

all in, mine, hers, a coffee and two orange juices for £11. Happy with that.

 

Sausages were ace. Egg was nice. Two slices of brown toast with butter not in the picture. Arrived uncut, so I sliced into triangles cause I’m middle class.

 

spot on.

I'd already repped you before for the pic before I read about the butchering of the toast.

 

Fuck all wrong with that brekie though. 

[Fugitive]

7 hours ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

This mornings breakfast. Took my little girl out for as its her birthday party later.

 

nice little cafe in Wetherby.

 

she had two poached eggs on toast, I had the basic full English with no added extras.

 

£5.95 for mine. Could’ve added black pudding and a second egg, but wasn’t hungry enough so didn’t.

 

all in, mine, hers, a coffee and two orange juices for £11. Happy with that.

 

Sausages were ace. Egg was nice. Two slices of brown toast with butter not in the picture. Arrived uncut, so I sliced into triangles cause I’m middle class.

 

spot on.

Fucking hell mate, she may not be yours but don’t take it out on her.

[Tony Moanero]

40 minutes ago, Dougie Do'ins said:

 

Fuck all wrong with that brekie though. 

Apart from you’d have to bin some of the bacon, one of the tomatoes, part of the egg white and a few of the mushrooms.

[Bob]

2 hours ago, Tony Moanero said:

Apart from you’d have to bin some of the bacon, one of the tomatoes, part of the egg white and a few of the mushrooms.

If you were an utter quim.

[Barrington Womble]

19 hours ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

This mornings breakfast. Took my little girl out for as its her birthday party later.

 

nice little cafe in Wetherby.

 

she had two poached eggs on toast, I had the basic full English with no added extras.

 

£5.95 for mine. Could’ve added black pudding and a second egg, but wasn’t hungry enough so didn’t.

 

all in, mine, hers, a coffee and two orange juices for £11. Happy with that.

 

Sausages were ace. Egg was nice. Two slices of brown toast with butter not in the picture. Arrived uncut, so I sliced into triangles cause I’m middle class.

 

spot on.

That looks a cracker for the price. I'm not a tinned tomato or fungus person, but you can't argue with the value. The food looks well cooked, the sausages look real and not crappy chippy type, the beans look pan cooked and not microwaved so the juice stays too thin. 

[Pidge]

Skipping black pudding's a disgraceful decision, but it look good, especially at the reasonable price.  Only real negative is the tinned tomatoes (although not keen on mushrooms either).

[Captain Turdseye]

9 minutes ago, Barry Wom said:

the beans look pan cooked and not microwaved so the juice stays too thin. 

 

I’m gonna have to disagree with this. I’m a firm pro-beaner, just like everyone with an IQ higher than Dwight Yorke’s illegitimate children, but you can still see a bit of bean juice there. Well cooked beans should be one gloopy entity. Say no to loose juice. 

[Pidge]

You need a little juice to mix up with the egg yolk.

 

*Waits for Remmie*

[Barrington Womble]

1 hour ago, Captain Turdseye said:

 

I’m gonna have to disagree with this. I’m a firm pro-beaner, just like everyone with an IQ higher than Dwight Yorke’s illegitimate children, but you can still see a bit of bean juice there. Well cooked beans should be one gloopy entity. Say no to loose juice. 

I thought they looked alright. 

 

I cooked a mini breakfast this morning and had HP beans for the 1st time in probably decades. They were really nice. I'm sticking with them I think. 

[skend04]

21 hours ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

This mornings breakfast. Took my little girl out for as its her birthday party later.

 

nice little cafe in Wetherby.

 

she had two poached eggs on toast, I had the basic full English with no added extras.

 

£5.95 for mine. Could’ve added black pudding and a second egg, but wasn’t hungry enough so didn’t.

 

all in, mine, hers, a coffee and two orange juices for £11. Happy with that.

 

Sausages were ace. Egg was nice. Two slices of brown toast with butter not in the picture. Arrived uncut, so I sliced into triangles cause I’m middle class.

 

spot on.

Get rid of the placenta and the mushrooms and that's a decent effort. 

[Pureblood]

5 minutes ago, Barry Wom said:

I thought they looked alright. 

 

I cooked a mini breakfast this morning and had HP beans for the 1st time in probably decades. They were really nice. I'm sticking with them I think. 

My real life mate is a big a pro-beaner and is massively into his Heinz.  When we lived together as students I used to always argue that they were practically indistinguishable from HP, but he wasn't having it.  I said he would never be able to tell the difference and the baked bean challenge was born.

 

Using scientific methods the challenge was set up.  I cooked three plates of beans on toast for him simultaneously using Heinz, HP and a popular supermarket's own brand.  I'm not naming the supermarket, they can fuck off.  My mate was blindfolded as the challenge commenced.  Nowt kinky, like, just so that he couldn't identify the beans visually.  He ruled out the supermarket beans straight away - the sauce was a dead giveaway.  But when it came to HP vs Heinz he took a good minute or so to make his choice.  In the end, to my dismay, he identified the Heinz beans correctly but it was close.  It was one of the greatest days of the late 90s.

[Dougie Do'ins]

1 hour ago, skend04 said:

Get rid of the placenta and the mushrooms and that's a decent effort. 

Just to be clear. We're now entering the realms of no eggs on a fry up ?

[Pureblood]

6 minutes ago, Dougie Do'ins said:

Just to be clear. We're now entering the realms of no eggs on a fry up ?

Tinned tomatoes.  They're a disgwace.  

[Remmie]

5 hours ago, Pidge said:

You need a little juice to mix up with the egg yolk.

 

*Waits for Remmie*

 

[Remmie]

This thread has turned into the confessions of war criminals. 

 

You bean sympathisers need electronic bracelets and tastebud transplants. Sick, warped freaks. 

[TheHowieLama]

Baz is way off base -- microwaves do not remove moisture as well as a skillet.

[Bjornebye]

On 07/09/2019 at 13:29, Bob Spunkmouse said:

This mornings breakfast. Took my little girl out for as its her birthday party later.

 

nice little cafe in Wetherby.

 

she had two poached eggs on toast, I had the basic full English with no added extras.

 

£5.95 for mine. Could’ve added black pudding and a second egg, but wasn’t hungry enough so didn’t.

 

all in, mine, hers, a coffee and two orange juices for £11. Happy with that.

 

Sausages were ace. Egg was nice. Two slices of brown toast with butter not in the picture. Arrived uncut, so I sliced into triangles cause I’m middle class.

 

spot on.

Can we all put the kids down and get back to actually cooking bacon for fuck sake 

 

That there is fucking horrendous. Is that gravy next to the orange juice? Stab yourself.