What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[General Dryness]

Just now, Lizzie Birdsworths Wrinkled Chopper said:

295 pages in and the best I’ve seen so far is Anny Road’s.

 

Any other memorable breakfasts stood out for the right reasons?

Must be something about big racists and fry ups.

 

I wonder if Tristan Waxey Lemon does a mean breakfast.

[Numero Veinticinco]

3 minutes ago, Lizzie Birdsworths Wrinkled Chopper said:

295 pages in and the best I’ve seen so far is Anny Road’s.

 

Any other memorable breakfasts stood out for the right reasons?

I'm so pissed off his was so good. The only let down for me was that he gave in to the bean dodging minority and put his beans into a fucking ramekin. Otherwise... very decent. 

[General Dryness]

1 minute ago, Numero Veinticinco said:

I'm so pissed off his was so good. The only let down for me was that he gave in to the bean dodging minority and put his beans into a fucking ramekin. Otherwise... very decent. 

For me he lost points for failing to lay his sausages out in the shape of a swastika.

[Captain Turdseye]

Let’s be honest. We’re all critics but we’ll eat any old shite. The truth of the matter is I couldn’t be arsed standing in the kitchen for long enough to cook a breakfast. Making a cup of tea is effort enough. When we have a fry up at ours, I meekly accept scrambled eggs because the kids won’t eat fried and I’m a loving, considerate partner who doesn’t want to force his missus into extra work. She used to microwave the beans until I threatened to end our relationship over it early on and I only demand that she fries eggs when I’m having egg and bacon on toast or a simple egg on. 

[Captain Turdseye]

I could murder a cup of tea right now. 

[Anubis]

23 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

I meekly accept scrambled eggs because the kids won’t eat fried and the people at work are getting suspicious when I tell them that I’ve accidentally walked into yet another door.

 

[Captain Turdseye]

2 minutes ago, Anubis said:

 

 

Ha. The joke’s on you. I haven’t got a job. 

[Bjornebye]

8 hours ago, Gruntfuttock said:

I bet that fucking thing is called your username on the menu. 

 

I'll have the 'Gruntfuttock and a bottle of chilli sauce, I'm getting the needle in an hour" 

[Mudface]

The needle's probably redundant, I'd top myself if that was served to me. Not before taking everyone involved with the abomination down first, mind.

[Dr Nowt]

49 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Let’s be honest. We’re all critics but we’ll eat any old shite. The truth of the matter is I couldn’t be arsed standing in the kitchen for long enough to cook a breakfast. Making a cup of tea is effort enough. When we have a fry up at ours, I meekly accept scrambled eggs because the kids won’t eat fried and I’m a loving, considerate partner who doesn’t want to force his missus into extra work. She used to microwave the beans until I threatened to end our relationship over it early on and I only demand that she fries eggs when I’m having egg and bacon on toast or a simple egg on. 

I prefer poached then scrambled over fried, anyway. Only place I’d choose to have a fried egg is in a bacon and egg roll where it’s instantly food of the gods, otherwise they can pretty much fuck off.

 

[Bob]

Meeting an old school mate for a pint before I headed back north turned into an unplanned big night out last night, and I kipped on my mates sofa. Woke up rough as fuck.

 

weve just been for brekkie at a hipster cafe place in the jewellery quarter in

 

Establishment: Urban Jewellery Quarter, Birmingham.

 

Price: £9.25 plus £3 for coffee.

 

Verdict: just what the doctor ordered. Bloody lovely. Decided not to add black pudding cause I was already spending a tenner on a breakfast and that was an extra £1.25:

 

Fabulous curly sausage, but just standard pork, no Cumberland herby nonsense. Delicious.

 

2 bacon hiding under the sausage. Nicely cooked. A bit strong in their smokiness if I’m being super critical.

 

2 perfectly poached eggs.

 

really nice sourdough toast.

 

tomato was better cooked than it looks.

 

all in all, that’s a bloody strong 9/10 for me.

 

 

[Numero Veinticinco]

Repped for sausage, toast and keys. Negged for ramekin, coffee, raw tomatoes, and testicles. Result = draw. 

[KMD7]

16 minutes ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

Meeting an old school mate for a pint before I headed back north turned into an unplanned big night out last night, and I kipped on my mates sofa. Woke up rough as fuck.

 

weve just been for brekkie at a hipster cafe place in the jewellery quarter in

 

Establishment: Urban Jewellery Quarter, Birmingham.

 

Price: £9.25 plus £3 for coffee.

 

Verdict: just what the doctor ordered. Bloody lovely. Decided not to add black pudding cause I was already spending a tenner on a breakfast and that was an extra £1.25:

 

Fabulous curly sausage, but just standard pork, no Cumberland herby nonsense. Delicious.

 

2 bacon hiding under the sausage. Nicely cooked. A bit strong in their smokiness if I’m being super critical.

 

2 perfectly poached eggs.

 

really nice sourdough toast.

 

tomato was better cooked than it looks.

 

all in all, that’s a bloody strong 9/10 for me.

 

 

Coffee with a full English? 

'Gasps'

[Jairzinho]

Did Lifey do the mushrooms? In an incinerator?

[Numero Veinticinco]

36 minutes ago, Jairzinho said:

Did Lifey do the mushrooms? In an incinerator?

Why ask the same question twice? 

[Jairzinho]

Just now, Numero Veinticinco said:

Why ask the same question twice? 

That's not strictly true. Sometimes he uses a volcano.

[Trumo]

That's a lot of sausage.

 

Said Stig never.

[Numero Veinticinco]

4 minutes ago, Jairzinho said:

That's not strictly true. Sometimes he uses a volcano.

Only because he wanted to try not to burn it. 

[Bjornebye]

50 minutes ago, Trumo said:

That's a lot of sausage.

 

Said Stig never.

Shut it you fucking nipple clamp 

[TheHowieLama]

4 hours ago, Lizzie Birdsworths Wrinkled Chopper said:

295 pages in and the best I’ve seen so far is Anny Road’s.

 

Any other memorable breakfasts stood out for the right reasons?

The one served in a jar and the one on the shovel

[Remmie]

4 hours ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Let’s be honest. We’re all critics but we’ll eat any old shite. The truth of the matter is I couldn’t be arsed standing in the kitchen for long enough to cook a breakfast. Making a cup of tea is effort enough. When we have a fry up at ours, I meekly accept scrambled eggs because the kids won’t eat fried and I’m a loving, considerate partner who doesn’t want to force his missus into extra work. She used to microwave the beans until I threatened to end our relationship over it early on and I only demand that she fries eggs when I’m having egg and bacon on toast or a simple egg on. 

Do you need the number for samaritans mate? 

[Remmie]

12 hours ago, Gruntfuttock said:

I didn't realise they did full English breakfasts for fucking wilderbeasts

[General Dryness]

1 minute ago, Remmie said:

Do you need the number for samaritans mate? 

Could be worse mate, he could live in Milton Keynes as well.

[lifetime fan]

BLT with sriracha sauce this morning. 

 

 

 

[TheHowieLama]

I don't see the T