What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[Numero Veinticinco]

24 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Dave, Its happening again. 

I’ve already informed the authorities. He is going in the register. 

[Mudface]

46 minutes ago, aRdja said:

You and me both mudface.

Good man. It also means the lovely bean juice doesn't get contaminated with egg filth.

 

(Too far?)

[Fugitive]

3 hours ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

First time I’ve actually cooked a brekkie in a while, and I guess it’s more of a brunch given the time, but...

 

 

You fucking twat.

[Fugitive]

Making a fried egg is easy. A small amount of butter in a pan on low heat, add eggs when it’s hot and then cover with a lid. The steam helps cook the egg evenly and it won’t burn.

[cloggypop]

Can't believe we've got a load of egg flippers on here. 

[Anny Road]

2 hours ago, Fugitive said:

Making a fried egg is easy. A small amount of butter in a pan on low heat, add eggs when it’s hot and then cover with a lid. The steam helps cook the egg evenly and it won’t burn.

Butter on its own wont work. If if browns it goes bitter. Bit of oil as well  works.

[Guest]

6 hours ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

First time I’ve actually cooked a brekkie in a while, and I guess it’s more of a brunch given the time, but...

 

 

To cook it and serve it up once is bad enough, but to serve it up on two different plates is just plan wrong. Is that really avocado on a pitta bread with eggs, bacon, beans and tomato?

[Fugitive]

37 minutes ago, Anny Road said:

Butter on its own wont work. If if browns it goes bitter. Bit of oil as well  works.

I’ve not made a shit egg in ages just using butter.

[Bob]

34 minutes ago, Shooter in the Motor said:

Is that really avocado on a pitta bread with eggs, bacon, beans and tomato?

No. It’s avocado on a tortilla wrap, with eggs, bacon, beans, tomatoes, mushrooms and tobacco sauce.

 

dont sell it short.

 

and it was bloody lovely.

[Anny Road]

1 minute ago, Fugitive said:

I’ve not made a shit egg in ages just using butter.

Try the same with a table spoon of oil. See what you think.

[Fugitive]

3 minutes ago, Anny Road said:

Try the same with a table spoon of oil. See what you think.

I will give it a go.

[Oh Buoy]

3 hours ago, Fugitive said:

Making a fried egg is easy. A small amount of butter in a pan on low heat, add eggs when it’s hot and then cover with a lid. The steam helps cook the egg evenly and it won’t burn.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Fugitive]

12 minutes ago, Seasons said:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I think the enriched uranium that you added slightly fucked it.

[Guest]

24 minutes ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

No. It’s avocado on a tortilla wrap, with eggs, bacon, beans, tomatoes, mushrooms and tobacco sauce.

 

dont sell it short.

 

and it was bloody lovely.

Mushrooms? Where are they? Tobacco sauce? Did you roll it up in the tortilla and smoke it?

[Jairzinho]

The last few pages of food almost certainly break international law.

[Guest]

14 minutes ago, Jairzinho said:

The last few pages of food almost certainly break international law.

This is the part that saves the makers from prosecution as it's questionable that it falls under this category.

[SammyAftershave]

6 hours ago, Seasons said:

Fucking hell, where do you even begin with this?

Crucifixion?

[Barrington Womble]

6 hours ago, Seasons said:

Fucking hell, where do you even begin with this?

You could start with a neg. Can't believe I was the 1st to neg it!

[Vincent Vega]

11 hours ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

First time I’ve actually cooked a brekkie in a while, and I guess it’s more of a brunch given the time, but...

 

 

 

 

[Pureblood]

11 hours ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

First time I’ve actually cooked a brekkie in a while, and I guess it’s more of a brunch given the time, but...

 

 

You should change your name to Bob Cuntbreakfast.

[TheHowieLama]

3 hours ago, Barry Wom said:

You could start with a neg. Can't believe I was the 1st to neg it!

Incredibly bad form -- no one who posts a brekkie should get negged, it is the threads lifeblood -- they should get ripped to shreds - not negged.

 

 

[Karl_b]

On 11/10/2018 at 10:37 AM, Karl_b said:

I'm giving a presentation to a small farm/education charity this morning and I've been excited all week about getting here early for a full English. It hasn't disappointed. All the pork products are raised and made on site:

 

Two thick, smoked slices of proper fucking bacon.

Three proper fucking sausages, meaty and perfectly cooked.

Delicious, moist black pudding.

Two eggs (slightly undercooked on top, the only slight disappointment but still edible).

Beans, mushrooms, toast, keys.

 

£10.50 including coffee (fuck off NV).

 

9/10.

 

I went back for another go yesterday.

 

The above still applies, 9/10. A few minor differences - the sausages were cooked a little better this time, the eggs done separately (rather than 2 to a pan) and the mushrooms seasoned better (pretty much perfectly).

 

 

[skend04]

18 hours ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

First time I’ve actually cooked a brekkie in a while, and I guess it’s more of a brunch given the time, but...

 

 

So what is this? A deconstructed guacamole? I'm sure it says breakfast in the thread title. Even Mexicans would rail at this nonsense.

[Remmie]

7 hours ago, TK421 said:

You should change your name to Bob Cuntbreakfast.

Cuntbreakfast Spunkmouse? 

[Karl_b]

Bob's breakfast just doesn't know what it is. I'm all for an alternative to a fry-up but at least think about what it's supposed to be!

 

At the risk of being too hipster, avocado on good, ideally sourdough, toast with a couple of poachies (proper fucken runny) and plenty of salt and pepper is great. Adding bacon is also great (the saltiness works perfectly with avocado) but beans, fried eggs and tortillas? Not for me, Clive.