What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

1 hour ago, moof said:

 

Where are the beans?

[Numero Veinticinco]

This whole thing has jumped the shark. It’s the same tired shit over and over. 

 

BeanZzzzz

[Fugitive]

5 minutes ago, Numero Veinticinco said:

This whole thing has jumped the shark. It’s the same tired shit over and over. 

 

BeanZzzzz

I agree, just admit that beans are for cunts and we can all move on.

[Numero Veinticinco]

2 minutes ago, Fugitive said:

I agree, just admit that beans are for cunts and we can all move on.

Okay. Beans are for cunts. 

[KMD7]

Just saw this monstrosity posted on twitter

[SammyAftershave]

Hell's teeth! What the fuck is it? Or is it actually 'Hell's teeth'?

[KMD7]

Just now, SammyAftershave said:

Hell's teeth! What the fuck is it? Or is it actually 'Hell's teeth'?

I think it's AIDS in breakfast form

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

It’s gastroenteritis on a plate.

[Bjornebye]

6 hours ago, Karl_b said:

I'm giving a presentation to a small farm/education charity this morning and I've been excited all week about getting here early for a full English. It hasn't disappointed. All the pork products are raised and made on site:

 

Two thick, smoked slices of proper fucking bacon.

Three proper fucking sausages, meaty and perfectly cooked.

Delicious, moist black pudding.

Two eggs (slightly undercooked on top, the only slight disappointment but still edible).

Beans, mushrooms, toast, keys.

 

£10.50 including coffee (fuck off NV).

 

9/10.

 

Tomato sauce in a tin? -1

The egg/eggs look nice +1

Mushrooms, well done for ordering them but there aren't enough. 0

Bacon looks undercooked, not enough of it although it is smoked. 0

I am not a fan of the sausage situation at all. Either the chef was hungry or you have started it before taking a pic for the GF. The one on the right looks nice actually. 0

That toast is fucking shite. -1

Tomato is under-grilled. -1

The black pudding looks fit +2

Beans -10

Keys in the picture -5

 

-15 fuck off. 

[Bjornebye]

5 hours ago, Carradona said:

If anyone is ever in the beautiful seaside town of Rathmullan in County Donegal (Ireland), get yourselves to Belles Kitchen. I'll even join you.

Toast looks quite which and I like that in my toast. Its in a rack though which is all sorts of fuck off. 0

Butter sachets, I bet they were fucking ice cold as well. The butter needs spreading as soon as the toast is ready. -2

Assume thats soda bread on the left, it looks nice +1

The eggs look great +2

Like the look of the black pudding +1

And the white pudding +1

Sausages look 'ok' 0

Nice amount of bacon but it looks like its been cooked on Dai's griddle. 0

The place is shite -1

No bean cunts +5

 

7/10. 

[Bjornebye]

2 hours ago, moof said:

 

[Bjornebye]

2 hours ago, Fugitive said:

How many kids do you have locked in your shed?

A bean for each of them 

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

9 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Toast looks quite which and I like that in my toast. Its in a rack though which is all sorts of fuck off. 0

Butter sachets, I bet they were fucking ice cold as well. The butter needs spreading as soon as the toast is ready. -2

Assume thats soda bread on the left, it looks nice +1

The eggs look great +2

Like the look of the black pudding +1

And the white pudding +1

Sausages look 'ok' 0

Nice amount of bacon but it looks like its been cooked on Dai's griddle. 0

The place is shite -1

No bean cunts +5

 

7/10. 

An Irish brekkie Stig and you only gave it a 7? Surprised you never cranked it up to 11 you old romantic. Locks a flowin in the beans......or lack of.

[Bjornebye]

4 minutes ago, VERBAL DIARRHEA said:

An Irish brekkie Stig and you only gave it a 7? Surprised you never cranked it up to 11 you old romantic. Locks a flowin in the beans......or lack of.

I know. 

[Guest]

1 hour ago, VERBAL DIARRHEA said:

Where are the beans?

Are they under the beans? 

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

Just now, Shooter in the Motor said:

Are they under the beans? 

Probably.

[Barrington Womble]

7 hours ago, Karl_b said:

I'm giving a presentation to a small farm/education charity this morning and I've been excited all week about getting here early for a full English. It hasn't disappointed. All the pork products are raised and made on site:

 

Two thick, smoked slices of proper fucking bacon.

Three proper fucking sausages, meaty and perfectly cooked.

Delicious, moist black pudding.

Two eggs (slightly undercooked on top, the only slight disappointment but still edible).

Beans, mushrooms, toast, keys.

 

£10.50 including coffee (fuck off NV).

 

9/10.

 

And is this a meal available to the general public? If so, how do I get one? 

[Tony Moanero]

2 hours ago, Numero Veinticinco said:

This whole thing has jumped the shark. It’s the same tired shit over and over. 

 

BeanZzzzz

The same could be said for much of the GF. Politics, etc. aside, which I don’t bother with, most of the threads are just harmless, lighthearted fun. Of course, there’s lots of repetition, the same in-jokes, etc., but it provides a distraction from the daily grind of life and I enjoy it. 

[Carradona]

1 hour ago, Bjornebye said:

Toast looks quite which and I like that in my toast. Its in a rack though which is all sorts of fuck off. 0

Butter sachets, I bet they were fucking ice cold as well. The butter needs spreading as soon as the toast is ready. -2

Assume thats soda bread on the left, it looks nice +1

The eggs look great +2

Like the look of the black pudding +1

And the white pudding +1

Sausages look 'ok' 0

Nice amount of bacon but it looks like its been cooked on Dai's griddle. 0

The place is shite -1

No bean cunts +5

 

7/10. 

It's not soda bread, it's potato bread which is 100 times tastier. 

[Numero Veinticinco]

2 minutes ago, Tony Moanero said:

The same could be said for much of the GF. Politics, etc. aside, which I don’t bother with, most of the threads are just harmless, lighthearted fun. Of course, there’s lots of repetition, the same in-jokes, etc., but it provides a distraction from the daily grind of life and I enjoy it. 

Good for you, mate. I'm not knocking anybody else's enjoyment. I've just had enough of this beans bullshit. And to be honest, most of the repetitive stuff on here. We get stuck in a cycle of negging daft things, saying the same joke, bean=peado. There's a shelf life for jokes and we're way past it on this. It's just not that fun to read on here anymore. I'm part of that, of course. It's just that it's becoming a fucking grind to bother with any of this at the moment. 

 

But whatever, if you enjoy it then more power to you.

[Bjornebye]

14 minutes ago, Tony Moanero said:

The same could be said for much of the GF. Politics, etc. aside, which I don’t bother with, most of the threads are just harmless, lighthearted fun. Of course, there’s lots of repetition, the same in-jokes, etc., but it provides a distraction from the daily grind of life and I enjoy it. 

Fuck off Code. 

[Fugitive]

The beans are making him depressed.

 

Proof that they are utter bastards.

[Mook]

2 hours ago, Carradona said:

It's not soda bread, it's potato bread which is 100 times tastier. 

This bread is a disgrace.

[Karl_b]

13 hours ago, Barry Wom said:

And is this a meal available to the general public? If so, how do I get one? 

Yes, yes it is. Get yourself down to the cafe at Whirlow Hall Farm.

[Jarvinja Ilnow]

17 hours ago, KMD7 said:

Just saw this monstrosity posted on twitter

 

The cook wants a word.