What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[Numero Veinticinco]

8 minutes ago, HatTrickRick said:

It's, umm... different

Beans or no beans. Declare your team. 

[HatTrickRick]

Waiting on your breakfast --

 

 

"Promising to post a breakfast if another fella does one, then not doing it"

Pro Beaner behavior #798

 

Analogous to not coming through on a Secret Santa

[Oh Buoy]

Someone needs to go through this thread and list all the soft blerts who haven't posted their breakfast. 

Have a feeling prime gimp #1 is going to be NV. 

[mattyq]

I am shocked, shocked by the feedback

The black pudding was a revelation. The butcher said it was from a new supplier and had a slight aniseedy taste to it - he was right it was fucking amazing.

At the end of the day if you're used to cheap processed shite and sugary gloop aka beans then the first sight of high quality, locally sourced produce(black pud exc) is going to confound and even frighten some people. Such is the hard, thankless task us breakfast innovators have taken upon ourselves

[Guest]

I almost took a photo of my fry-up today but I was far too impatient to eat it. It was very nice. No beans.

[Numero Veinticinco]

25 minutes ago, Seasons said:

Someone needs to go through this thread and list all the soft blerts who haven't posted their breakfast. 

Have a feeling prime gimp #1 is going to be NV. 

I was one of the first to ever post a picture actually. Those who have spring onion on there breakfast shouldn’t throw stones. 

[Pidge]

1 hour ago, Seasons said:

Eggs are a joke. Cherry toms are great, bonus point for having 4 of the lovely fuckers, bacon can fuck right off, as can the weirdly cut black puddling. Toast is shitely done. Blue plates are for bitter cunts and gobshites who can't make breakfasts. 

 

4/10. 

Eggs looked good, one flipped but we all make mistakes, yoke intact which is the main thing.  Black pudding is blood, fat and oatmeal mushed together (delicious) - who gives a fuck how it's cut?  It's not toast, it's fried bread and don't you ever tell bacon to fuck off.  Not even as a joke.

I give this review of a breakfast 1/10.

[Lee909]

streaky bacons makes a good cold snack though to be fair

Cook it crisp though

[Oh Buoy]

11 minutes ago, Numero Veinticinco said:

I was one of the first to ever post a picture actually. Those who have spring onion on there breakfast shouldn’t throw stones. 

Some would say my additions to this thread are revolutionary. 

[Tony Moanero]

2 minutes ago, Lee909 said:

streaky bacons makes a good cold snack though to be fair

Cook it crisp though

Might as well just have a packet of Smiths Bacon Fries.

[Numero Veinticinco]

Just now, Seasons said:

Some would say my additions to this thread are revolutionary. 

That someone is you. Most would say revolting. 

[Oh Buoy]

1 minute ago, Numero Veinticinco said:

That someone is you. Most would say revolting. 

Just oozing jealousy here. 

Oozing. 

[Remmie]

53 minutes ago, HatTrickRick said:

Waiting on your breakfast --

 

 

"Promising to post a breakfast if another fella does one, then not doing it"

Pro Beaner behavior #798

 

Analogous to not coming through on a Secret Santa

Best noob ever

[Lee909]

2 minutes ago, Tony Moanero said:

Might as well just have a packet of Smiths Bacon Fries.

 

Not if you don't want the carbs not to fuck your blood sugar levels up

[Remmie]

2 hours ago, mattyq said:

I've got some cracking sausages but I thought I'd make toad in the hole later on in the week so missed them out

Normally I'd do a load of mushies but forgot to buy them the other day and couldn't be arsed to go back down to the shops.

Black pud was Stornoway, crisp on the outside fluffy inside. 3 rashers of streaky and 1 of back, all smoked, of course

Bread fried and both eggs with soft runny yolks one over easy. HP, lots of

Pot of tea and a tall glass of juice... everything bought from local butchers, £10 for 2 large breakfasts

As always I can only critique the veggie elements. No beans or hash brown is a terrific start and the fried bread looks great. Eggs look overcooked and the tomatoes not at all. Why have you perched it on the edge of the table and where's the tea, keys, conker? 

[Pidge]

Actually, fringe of the egg there does look a touch ropey to be fair.  Make it 2/10, Buoy.

[Oh Buoy]

15 minutes ago, Pidge said:

Actually, fringe of the egg there does look a touch ropey to be fair.  Make it 2/10, Buoy.

You can't add a point on for noticing that the eggs are shite. 

A firm 0/10 from Pidge there making this the worst scoring breakfast posted on here. 

[KMD7]

28 minutes ago, Remmie said:

Why have you perched it on the edge of the table? 

Looks like the plate moved itself to the edge in an attempt to rid itself of the contents from it. 

[SammyAftershave]

There appears to have been an outbreak of conker-less Scientology in this thread.

[Numero Veinticinco]

On 8/26/2014 at 6:42 PM, Guest Numero Veinticinco said:

That'll do me, pig

 

My breakfast from 2014. 

Toast is perfect, egg is the best this thread has seen, bacon is great, sausages look well cooked but average quality. Beans are a disgrace as they are undercooked. Hash brown was homemade and looks a bit shit. No black pudding or mushrooms because I don’t like them, that’ll piss a few off. Could do better, but very edible. 

7/10

[Numero Veinticinco]

.

[HatTrickRick]

14 minutes ago, Numero Veinticinco said:

My breakfast from 2014. 

Toast is perfect, egg is the best this thread has seen, bacon is great, sausages look well cooked but average quality. Beans are a disgrace as they are undercooked. Hash brown was homemade and looks a bit shit. No black pudding or mushrooms because I don’t like them, that’ll piss a few off. Could do better, but very edible. 

7/10

Should have left well enough alone pal -- a single egg ( a      single       egg)

- flick some of the grease on it FFS -- far from perfect, in fact a tad underdone.

What is under the egg and toast top left ???     -- sketchy.

 

So now we move to the hash brown, homemade and shit -- this is your stuff innit? There is ALOT of green showing through the brown there. Green. So....

Bacon looks microwaved.

The only true statement in that post, and it is signature worthy, is:

Beans are a disgrace 

 

 

 

 

 

5/10

[Numero Veinticinco]

So, who were you before? Oh, and your posting styling is as atrocious as your opinion on beans. Green? Are your eyes as fucked as your English?

[Numero Veinticinco]

I’m going for Dennis Tooth. 

[HatTrickRick]

That is frozen hash brown mix with chopped green bell peppers in it and you can't handle the Tooth.