What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[Oh Buoy]

Depressing, really. 

 

When your bread takes up the entire plate and you result in putting a spoon full of bea...

 

What the fuck is a conker doing on the table you fucking ming? 

[Numero Veinticinco]

Depressing, really.

 

When your bread takes up the entire plate and you result in putting a spoon full of bea...

 

What the fuck is a conker doing on the table you fucking ming?

Clearly warding off spiders.

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

Depressing, really.

 

When your bread takes up the entire plate and you result in putting a spoon full of bea...

 

What the fuck is a conker doing on the table you fucking ming?

At least he eats meat, you leaf eating fuck

[Anny Road]

Fair play for at least posting a picture. More than most do.

[Oh Buoy]

At least he eats meat, you leaf eating fuck

You're right, the whole plates needs more green and less murder.

[General Dryness]

Well that cunt cracko will think twice before paying his subs.

 

Dave doesn't mind taking money from deviants, obviously. But there's a fucking limit.

[DJLJ]

Tablecloths full stop unless you’re in a restaurant and they’re changed for every customer

Really? The times it has saved our table from our 4 and 7 year olds with the crayons and colours and whatever else. No way would I *NOT* have a tablecloth on.

[Champ]

Really? The times it has saved our table from our 4 and 7 year olds with the crayons and colours and whatever else. No way would I *NOT* have a tablecloth on.

Ah, tablecloth as table protection rather than decoration?

I hadn’t thought of that. I was thinking about them gathering crumbs and food stains

[Oh Buoy]

Anyone using a tablecloth and isn't at an Italian restaurant or a wedding needs to reevaluate their direction in life.

 

Protection from crayons isn't an excuse.

[Carvalho Diablo]

Clearly some deranged perverts in this thread and roaming wild throughout the forum. Serial killers with AIDS and green shit, scorch marks and underaged captives.

[Captain Turdseye]

I’m crying laughing at the conker on the table.

[General Dryness]

I’m crying laughing at the conker on the table.

There fucking is as well, you observant twat.

 

Scenes.

[Atticus Finch]

After the duck egg fiasco I might just get away with this, harbour breakfast this morning in a cafe in Lossiemouth, replaces bacon & sausage with fresh smoked haddock, came with Stornaway black pudding, grilled tomatoes and mushrooms, poached eggs instead of fried, tea and toast included for just over £9, no beans though. For the record it was amazing,  the smoked fish made up for the lack of bacon...come on let’s have it....

[El Rojo]

Jesus Christ. 

[Remmie]

No beans or hash browns good

Uncooked tomatoes, bread and poached eggs bad. 

Mushrooms look a tad underdone also. 

A lack of eating utensils suggests you just pushed your face into it

[Fugitive]

7 minutes ago, Atticus Finch said:

After the duck egg fiasco I might just get away with this, harbour breakfast this morning in a cafe in Lossiemouth, replaces bacon & sausage with fresh smoked haddock, came with Stornaway black pudding, grilled tomatoes and mushrooms, poached eggs instead of fried, tea and toast included for just over £9, no beans though. For the record it was amazing,  the smoked fish made up for the lack of bacon...come on let’s have it....

People are just taking the piss now. Replaced bacon and sausage with haddock... fucking hell.

[Carradona]

Fish on a fry up, you cunt.

[Numero Veinticinco]

19 minutes ago, Atticus Finch said:

grilled tomatoes

Grilled? 

[Carvalho Diablo]

33 minutes ago, Atticus Finch said:

After the duck egg fiasco I might just get away with this, harbour breakfast this morning in a cafe in Lossiemouth, replaces bacon & sausage with fresh smoked haddock, came with Stornaway black pudding, grilled tomatoes and mushrooms, poached eggs instead of fried, tea and toast included for just over £9, no beans though. For the record it was amazing,  the smoked fish made up for the lack of bacon...come on let’s have it....

So, my first action on the brand new site was to neg this fool.

Worse than Hitler.

[Tony Moanero]

Poached eggs and black pudding look ok. Tomato and mushrooms are woefully undercooked. The fish looks nice, just not for breakfast. Sachets of sauce are a disgrace. I bet you dunked the toast in your brew, you animal.

[Oh Buoy]

Up there with one of the most disgusting things ever posted. 

[Captain Turdseye]

[General Dryness]

What did they grill the tomatoes under,  a fucking lightbulb?

Fish on a breakfast. I hope you get forced to go on tour with Mumford and sons as their fuck toy, you cunt.

[Oh Buoy]

1 minute ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Would. 

[Chip Butty]

1 hour ago, Atticus Finch said:

After the duck egg fiasco I might just get away with this, harbour breakfast this morning in a cafe in Lossiemouth, replaces bacon & sausage with fresh smoked haddock, came with Stornaway black pudding, grilled tomatoes and mushrooms, poached eggs instead of fried, tea and toast included for just over £9, no beans though. For the record it was amazing,  the smoked fish made up for the lack of bacon...come on let’s have it....

Bar the Black pudding and the queg cut on the toast, thats a damn fine breakfast. Extra point for the robust and hearty use of butter on the toast. Toms could of had a bit more aggro with the grill and the Tea looks epic, no milk is the way to go. 

I was in Durham last week and had a lemon kipper for breakfast and it was divine. A smoked fish is the way to start a day. If i can master the art of putting a picture on this god forsaken website, I will post it, one day. 

 

8 fishy fumbs up, out of 10