What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[lifetime fan]

The anaemia of the south west on both plates matches the charred saturation to the north east.

 

Yes, horrible.

 

The toast that’s actually done correctly is how it should all be.

[Numero Veinticinco]

That's fucking hideous. 

[Elite]

That looks like Blackpool beach when the tide comes in.

[lifetime fan]

Sausages - not sure they were even cooked in the middle and shit quality.

Bacon - not cooked enough and fat not crispy.

Beans - watery slop.

Tomatoes - watery slop.

Hash browns - says everything when underdone hash browns are the least shit thing on the plate!

Toast - weirdly only done 3/4’s but cold.

 

At least it was tea out the machine and not coffee like some sick cunts!

[Remmie]

At least the toast was on a separate plate so you could consume something edible

[lifetime fan]

At least the toast was on a separate plate so you could consume something edible

 

See comment on toast.

[Numero Veinticinco]

Sausages - not sure they were even cooked in the middle and shit quality.

Bacon - not cooked enough and fat not crispy.

Beans - watery slop.

Tomatoes - watery slop.

Hash browns - says everything when underdone hash browns are the least shit thing on the plate!

Toast - weirdly only done 3/4’s but cold.

 

At least it was tea out the machine and not coffee like some sick cunts!

 

 

Sorry you had to go through that, mate. On top of everything you're going through, you shouldn't have to put up with that shit. Fucking Tory England.

[lifetime fan]

They’d ‘ran out’ of black pudding too.

 

I’d spent 6 fucking hours in a warehouse downstairs full of the fucking stuff!

 

Every little helps my hairy fucking hoop.

[lifetime fan]

Off on the weekend so going to the butchers and I’m going to put that travesty right. I need something to cheer me up!

 

Bought a loaf of shit white sliced bread ready to be a few days old for the fried bread this morning.

[SammyAftershave]

Did Jim fix that for you?

[TheHowieLama]

I literally laughed out loud when I saw Lifey's entry here -- tremendous.

[Rocky Sullivan]

Haven't got any photos to show you but want to recommend the Metro cafe by Hunt's Cross station and the Yew Tree Farm cafe in Halewood for some really nice brekkies. Alright? Sound. 

[Captain Turdseye]

Haven't got any photos to show you but want to recommend the Metro cafe by Hunt's Cross station and the Yew Tree Farm cafe in Halewood for some really nice brekkies. Alright? Sound.

The Metro is boss. Always used to run up there for my dinner when I was working at one of the plants alongside Jaguar.

[Mook]

Haven't got any photos to show you but want to recommend the Metro cafe by Hunt's Cross station and the Yew Tree Farm cafe in Halewood for some really nice brekkies. Alright? Sound. 

 

Have they not thought about changing their name?

 

'Your breakfast will be ready as soon as our chef has stopped raping that seven year old out the back.'

[lifetime fan]

I literally laughed out loud when I saw Lifey's entry here -- tremendous.

 

You wouldn’t laugh after being served that crap after 6 hours hard slog mate.

[Paulie Dangerously]

 

Jesus H Christ

[Numero Veinticinco]

Yeah. First full English soup effort we’ve seen.

[moof]

I think I’m more pissed off about the toast than anything else. Why would they only cook half of it?

[Numero Veinticinco]

I think I’m more pissed off about the toast than anything else. Why would they only cook half of it?

It’s not proper either. It’s clearly done against a super hot gas flame. Very poor. 2/20.

[Paulie Dangerously]

The bean juice under the bacon is enough to make any normal bean eater cringe. 

[TheHowieLama]

Full Turkish Breakfast:

 

 

 

Would

[Numero Veinticinco]

No.

[lifetime fan]

I think I’m more pissed off about the toast than anything else. Why would they only cook half of it?

 

It makes no fucking sense at all.

[Jairzinho]

What are you meant to put the pureed dog shit on?

[TheHowieLama]

What are you meant to put the pureed dog shit on?

 

The leftover beans from the fella eating the English next to you.