What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[General Dryness]

G has nailed it.

[Alan Sex]

[Guest]

Miss a full English I do. Haven't had one since last year in England.

 

Something like this would be perfect:

 

2-3 rashers of back bacon, grilled.

2 sausages, pork, good quality (I don't like cheap sausages that are like mush in the middle).

Black pudding.

2 fried eggs.

Beans OR grilled tomato. (Can't be both, that's for wrong uns).

Mushrooms.

2-3 pieces of thick white toast.

Orange juice.

Nice pot of tea (something decent, not too weak).

 

I'm going to the Doctors on Wednesday morning for a mid-life check up. Straight after I think I will print this out and hand it over to the chef of the local cafe and see what comes back.

[Carvalho Diablo]

I'm going to the Doctors on Wednesday morning for a mid-life check up. Straight after I think I will print this out and hand it over to the chef of the local cafe and see what comes back.

Finger up the bum, he's gonna check your beans.

[Tony Moanero]

G has nailed it.

Pretty much, but I like beans and tomatoes.

[Guest]

Finger up the bum, he's gonna check your beans.

 

If he finds beans up my bum this will be a definite reason for no beans on a fryup.

[Spy Bee]

I would argue that the real cherry on top of a breakfast is a slice or two of spam!

[Bjornebye]

I would argue that the real cherry on top of a breakfast is a slice or two of spam!

 

I hope you die 

[Chip Butty]

Miss a full English I do. Haven't had one since last year in England.

 

Something like this would be perfect:

 

2-3 rashers of back bacon, grilled.

2 sausages, pork, good quality (I don't like cheap sausages that are like mush in the middle).

Black pudding.

2 fried eggs.

Beans OR grilled tomato. (Can't be both, that's for wrong uns).

Mushrooms.

2-3 pieces of thick white toast.

Orange juice.

Nice pot of tea (something decent, not too weak).

 

Damn fine breakfasting there sir.

 

 

One question - what are people's thoughts on Beef sausages? Most cafe's and that, do pork sausages, but now and again when I cook my own, I use Beef sausages. Generally a thinner sausage but with a different flavour. Thoughts? 

[Lee909]

Fucking spam

You sick fuck

[Tony Moanero]

Spam Fritters are boss.

[Mook]

Spam is for people who rape disabled cats with rusty coat hangers.

[Bjornebye]

The only thing worse than Spam is Corned Beef. My mum made me Corned Beef hash for tea in 1992. It was like the cold war for about 3 years after. 

[Tony Moanero]

Fucking hell. Corned beef and tomato butties are nice, but corned beef hash is immense.

[Lee909]

Corned beef hash is superb.

Unless you are a smash eating twat

[SammyAftershave]

Fucking hell. Corned beef and tomato butties are nice, but corned beef hash is immense.

 

Tony knows.

[Barrington Womble]

I would argue that the real cherry on top of a breakfast is a slice or two of spam!

I love grilled spam. Grilled spam on soft white bread with a little bit of jerk sauce, perfect.

 

Corned beef is boss too. I once made a bolognaise out of corned beef as it was there and I thought, why not. That was a brilliant invention. Not for breakfast though. Although I don't mind in the states getting a bit of corned beef hash on my breakfast.

[Lee909]

[Bjornebye]

Corned Beef Hash is for nonces, tories and bastards 

[Lee909]

What the fucks wrong with this

[General Dryness]

Have to agree with Tony re spam fritters and corned beef hash. Boss scran.

 

Obviously not on a breakfast though.

[SammyAftershave]

Corned Beef Hash is for nonces, tories and bastards 

 

Have you been on the lash again?

[Bjornebye]

No mate I'm just not a nonce, a Tory or a bastard.

[General Dryness]

No mate I'm just not a nonce, a Tory or a bastard.

Two out of three ain't bad.

[Bjornebye]

Fucking cheeky cunt. Your birds fanny has a nickname. Corned beef gash.