Bleeding 4skin

[The Party Boy]

Any 1 ever had this?

[The Party Boy]

Any 1 caught it in a zipper

[Stouffer]

Split the banjo once. Didn't break it completely.

 

Oh god the horror.

[cochyn]

Snapped me cheese-string on the job once (Only time I've ever been close to fainting). Doctor gave me a prescription to sort it. The lady behind the counter at the chemists told me not to drive after applying it. I thought "What the fuck I this stuff"! :eek:

Turns out it was eye-ointment. :whistle:

[Spy Bee]

I never split the string (it's made of pure diamond), but split the side of it once. Well actually twice.

 

First time I was too pissed to notice. I was on holiday in Benidorm and I realised when I drunkenly stumbled into the bathroom in the morning and sat down for a piss before I fell down. I made a horrendous scream as the piss hit the pain.

 

Second time I was pissed again. This time I noticed. I just cracked on though cos I was pissed and enjoying having a shag. Sometime later I went top the bog and got back in the bed in the spare room by accident. When I woke up at about 8am, I got back in bed with the bird and (having totally forgotten) started to get a bit amourous. She stopped and said "I can't look at you when I say this", she rolled over and finished "but I bled last night!"

 

"You didn't did you?" I replied, barely able to contain my laughter. She still doesn't know to this day.

 

That's my longest ever TLW post. And it's utterly shit.

[Ian H]

While on holiday.

 

At first I thought it was the wife who had got her dates wrong for rag week, then quickly realised the pool of blood was mine. I thought I was going to die.

 

Happened twice after as well.

[lifetime fan]

Not quite on topic but still funny none the less.

 

A while ago I was taking advantage of the bird, had her handcuffed on her knees making her give me a blowjob and she's pretending she doesn't want to. She keeps saying no and get off me but im making her do it anyway.

 

However when I grabbed her pnoytail to pull her towards my John Thomas I smacked her in the face with my bellend and gave her a bloody nose.

[Stouffer]

A while ago I was taking advantage of the bird, had her handcuffed on her knees making her give me a blowjob and she's pretending she doesn't want to. She keeps saying no and get off me but im making her do it anyway.

 

 

And the award for the kinkiest GFer of the year goes to...

[lifetime fan]

And the award for the kinkiest GFer of the year goes to...

 

I'm shutting up now. :thumbup:

[The-Sir]

Thats called rape you know!

[lifetime fan]

Thats called rape you know!

 

She said no, but she wanted it really.(6)

[Remmie]

he prefers the term surprise sex

[lifetime fan]

he prefers the term surprise sex

 

It was a suprise yeaterday morning when she woke up to find my cock up her shitter. :whistle:

[Guest Jay W]

It was a suprise yeaterday morning when she woke up to find my cock up her shitter. :whistle:

 

F'kinel, is there any time you do it with her consent?

[Spy Bee]

I think Lifetime is a considerate lover. He understands what women really want. They always complain that it's not what they said it's what they meant.

 

Lesson 1 - When they say no, they mean yes.

[Anubis]

Not quite on topic but still funny none the less.

 

A while ago I was taking advantage of the bird, had her handcuffed on her knees making her give me a blowjob and she's pretending she doesn't want to. She keeps saying no and get off me but im making her do it anyway.

 

However when I grabbed her pnoytail to pull her towards my John Thomas I smacked her in the face with my bellend and gave her a bloody nose.

Where did you bury the body?

[Sweeney287]

Not quite on topic but still funny none the less.

 

A while ago I was taking advantage of the bird, had her handcuffed on her knees making her give me a blowjob and she's pretending she doesn't want to. She keeps saying no and get off me but im making her do it anyway.

 

However when I grabbed her pnoytail to pull her towards my John Thomas I smacked her in the face with my bellend and gave her a bloody nose.

 

That was class:thumbsup:

 

Have only ever caught it in my zipper once and it was fucking painful getting it out.

[Malarkey]

Once got booted full force in footy right in the Danglies, had a red blotch on me Helmut Windermeyer for about a week. Worst amount of pain i have ever experienced in ten minutes.