whats was the worst bird you ever ploughed like

[fowler9]

have to admit i did a shocker last night

 

was like Eilleen Grimshaw but twice the size and with brown hair

 

still when your as ugly as me every holes a goal

[Nomad]

Pic or it never happend :sick:

[dirty_sanchez]

If there's one thing that I've learnt from having sex with girls who are not as toned or attractive as one might like, it's that looks are not always a good yardstick of sexual ability.

[Fowlers God]

See an earlier post when i admitted to shagging the portugeezer (not literally)

[Steve Holt]

I had this really fat bird once. I'm a tubster myself but she was proper fat. And she was shit. She didn't know what to do with a cock. She gave me a blowjob for about 25 minutes and I never felt anything like close to cumming. Then we got down to it and she liked to be on top. It was one of the most uncomfortable experiences of my life.

[arteviste]

Thing is, Eileen Grimshaw is actually rather plough-able, in a secretly pervy neighbour sort of way.

 

Well, i would anyway.

 

[The 5th Benitel]

I was once had sex with a massive bird on a balcony. She put a towel down as if that was going to have any kind of cushioning effect. As soon as she straddled me she completely cut off the blood flow to my legs and i had to tell her to get off immediately. It was once of the strangest and most horrible types of pain i've ever felt in my life. My mate, who was about 5 foot away i the ajoining room heard all this and was pissing himself laughing while taking pictures of her mate. I then apparently asked her to lick my plums while i wanked myself off in order to get it over with quickly although i dont remember that. We then robbed their breakfasts and left.

 

I miss being young.

[hamstrung]

Your mother.

[Indian Red]

I bet if ye bring all these girls to this thread, they`ll have a different version of things

[Edward.]

Having a 69 with this ginger bird once who was quite large, I stuck my finger up her bum and she squirted shit all over my face in in my mouth. Does this count?

[Elite]

Having a 69 with this ginger bird once who was quite large, I stuck my finger up her bum and she squirted shit all over my face in in my mouth. Does this count?

 

Haha, that is fucking disgusting.

[WaltonRed]

Every hole is a goal, end of.

[odris]

Unless you can fit your head in that hole.

[Liquid football]

great thread title

[She Knows It]

great thread title

 

I especially like the word 'like' on the end of it.

[grazywalker]

I have done some serious bogbeasts .

Not anymore of course I must add

[Guest Numero Veinticinco]

I especially like the word 'like' on the end of it.

 

I'm becoming more pedantic with every passing year. Threads like this are damaging my mental health.

[Guest The Big Green Bastard]

I used my new rotovator today at the allotment and i must have went over a woodpigeon or something, blood,guts and feathers everywhere.

[ISeeRed]

I once spent some time in Australia & got very pissed in a pub one night & told my (Australian) companions I was going to have a crack at the barmaid. 'Don't touch her, mate, she's a bushpig,' was the comment I remember most... Anyway, I went up to the bar and, with stunning originality, asked the lady in question if she'd like a drink. 'Yes, but not with you' was the reply. I returned to my seat to howls of laughter from pretty much the entire pub.

 

OK, I know this technically doesn't qualify as me having 'ploughed' her, but you get the gist...

[Kevin D]

If you're willing to talk about, it's not that bad. The ones you swear your friends to never ever bring up and spend three days with countless bottles of tequila trying to drown it out, those are the really bad ones. Or so I've been told.

[Alan Sex]

Your mother.

 

Ah yes, I remember that. We spitroasted her.

[Ezekiel 25:17]

ace thread

[Antynwa]

A few years ago I was pissed out of my mind, I stayed awake all night and my mates where like 'Ant, ffs she was huge, she was awful', I said 'She wasn't that bad'.

 

Anyway the next day she added me on My Space...I shit myself

[grazywalker]

I did this skanky fat bitch from Leasowe a good few years ago . I had my leg in plaster at the time and I was just grateful for something/ anything. We got back to hers and it really dawned on me how fuckin fat she was . Did that stop me,did it fuck .

I have to say it was not my finest moment of love making .

I did another hippo form Newcastle once who scratched the fuck out of my back. She told me she wanted it up the arse but I was not that fucking drunk,to be honest she did not look the cleanest so I feel my decision was justified. She did however give me a blowjob in the taxi .

[Anubis]

Having a 69 with this ginger bird once who was quite large, I stuck my finger up her bum and she squirted shit all over my face in in my mouth. Does this count?

Yeah, like you didn't know it was going to happen....