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Things you've said at job interviews....

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20 years ago, I was stuck for a job, having been a social worker for a couple of years. I had just sold my car to go to Magaluf with the lads and, after getting back, I was in the position of having a boss tan, a washboard stomach, no job and no wheels so you could imagine my excitement on seeing in Old Swan Job Centre, a car salesman's job with a company car!

 

I went for the interview and the sales manager said " I think you're a bit over qualified for this position" My reply was " Don't worry, I can act just as thick as you".

 

 

Result? He took fucking ages to respond but ended up laughing his head off and gave me the job there and then.

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I just finished reading a book called kitchen confidential which is the life story of Anthony Bourdain the American chef.

 

In that he talks about this one time when he was one the bones of his arse and desperate for this new job that had come up as head chef of a steak house owned by a Scots man.

 

He was storming the interview, saying all the right things, they were lapping it up. Then near the end of the interview, this scottish fella says to him, "what do you know about me". Bourdain has never heard of this fella, so instead of trying to blag him, just replies "absolutely nothing" and smiles.

 

Everyone around the table just pulls faces at him, he starts thinking, fuck I should have tried to blag him there.

 

Its only when he gets outside he realises he misheard what he said because of the accent. He actually said "what do you know about meat". He said he knew absolutely nothing about meat in an interview for the head chefs job in a steak house. Clever. Needless to say he didnt get the job.

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Guest Numero Veinticinco
I just finished reading a book called kitchen confidential which is the life story of Anthony Bourdain the American chef.

 

In that he talks about this one time when he was one the bones of his arse and desperate for this new job that had come up as head chef of a steak house owned by a Scots man.

 

He was storming the interview, saying all the right things, they were lapping it up. Then near the end of the interview, this scottish fella says to him, "what do you know about me". Bourdain has never heard of this fella, so instead of trying to blag him, just replies "absolutely nothing" and smiles.

 

Everyone around the table just pulls faces at him, he starts thinking, fuck I should have tried to blag him there.

 

Its only when he gets outside he realises he misheard what he said because of the accent. He actually said "what do you know about meat". He said he knew absolutely nothing about meat in an interview for the head chefs job in a steak house. Clever. Needless to say he didnt get the job.

 

Quality, that is. Is the book worth the read?

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yeah mate its a funny book. He basically shagged everything that moved, took every drug going and bummed his way about for years around kitchens in America until he made it big! its a funny book.

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yeah mate its a funny book. He basically shagged everything that moved, took every drug going and bummed his way about for years around kitchens in America until he made it big! its a funny book.

 

It's a fucking class book mate, some good tips on restaurants as well - when to avoid fish etc, the man is a fucking legend with some of the shit he got up to

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On 9/11/2009 at 2:21 AM, Arthur Friedenreich said:

 

It's a fucking class book mate, some good tips on restaurants as well - when to avoid fish etc, the man is a fucking legend with some of the shit he got up to

Watching a few episodes of Parts Unknown on Netflix. Really good viewing. 

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I was interviewing for a position teaching English as a second language and they asked me what I liked most about the country. I said that I liked quite a lot about the country and we owed a debt to the great Lord Palmerston for his vision. Unfortunately,  the lady interviewing me thought we owed more to Pitt the Elder and everything escalated from there.

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I've got an interview on Tuesday.

 

They've said it's competency based so I look forward to making an almighty cunt of it. 

 

Honestly, the person who invented competency based questions should be sent back in time & drowned at birth.

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Had an interview in the dog food factory next to the Farmer's Arms near Walton Vale back in the day. I knew when I got in there I didn't really want the job as the place stank of dog food, funnily enough.

 

The guy asks me my strengths and I just started lying about all the usual stuff. Hard worker, team player, good time keeper etc

 

Then he asks what my weaknesses are and after a long delay as I pondered it, I offered "well.... I'm a bit of a perfectionist".

 

I never heard back from them, which saved me the trouble of telling them I didn't want to work in their stinky dog food factory anyway.

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56 minutes ago, Mook said:

I've got an interview on Tuesday.

 

They've said it's competency based so I look forward to making an almighty cunt of it. 

 

Honestly, the person who invented competency based questions should be sent back in time & drowned at birth.

She's finally pushed you out then eh. 

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In my previous job we were about four interviewees into the process when the next candidate comes in. A lad in his early teens. I put my hand out to shake his hand and introduce myself.  He responded by trying to high five me.

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16 hours ago, Mook said:

I've got an interview on Tuesday.

 

They've said it's competency based so I look forward to making an almighty cunt of it. 

 

Honestly, the person who invented competency based questions should be sent back in time & drowned at birth.

The "World of a Woman" thread is finished if you change jobs, especially since Paulie Ds missus has finished furnishing the Tardis

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16 hours ago, dave u said:

Had an interview in the dog food factory next to the Farmer's Arms near Walton Vale back in the day. I knew when I got in there I didn't really want the job as the place stank of dog food, funnily enough.

 

The guy asks me my strengths and I just started lying about all the usual stuff. Hard worker, team player, good time keeper etc

 

Then he asks what my weaknesses are and after a long delay as I pondered it, I offered "well.... I'm a bit of a perfectionist".

 

I never heard back from them, which saved me the trouble of telling them I didn't want to work in their stinky dog food factory anyway.

thank fuck he hadn't seen you run a server upgrade, he'd have thought dog's dinners were a speciality!

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17 hours ago, Mook said:

I've got an interview on Tuesday.

 

They've said it's competency based so I look forward to making an almighty cunt of it. 

 

Honestly, the person who invented competency based questions should be sent back in time & drowned at birth.

 

Along with everyone else responsible for the recruitment agency and HR related bullshit that exists now.

 

Them and all of the estate agents.

 

Also, what is your biggest weakness is the shittest question ever asked and highlights an interviewer who hasn't got a fucking clue. From the same shit interviewer playbook as why do you want this job?

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10 minutes ago, chevettehs said:

 

Along with everyone else responsible for the recruitment agency and HR related bullshit that exists now.

 

Them and all of the estate agents.

 

Also, what is your biggest weakness is the shittest question ever asked and highlights an interviewer who hasn't got a fucking clue. From the same shit interviewer playbook as why do you want this job?

 

Have you not heard the questions from the latest edition? 

 

- What would a colleague say about you? 

- Can you tell me about a time where you could have acted differently?

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13 minutes ago, foam said:

 

Have you not heard the questions from the latest edition? 

 

- What would a colleague say about you? 

- Can you tell me about a time where you could have acted differently?

No, I've been self employed for 5 years now and started studying again about 18 months ago so I've managed to escape it for a while, unless something spectacular came up I really don't think I could cope with having to work for someone else again. 

 

However, in answer to those questions.

 

They would say I am a cunt.

 

I could have left my previous job much earlier rather than wasting years doing a dead end job for a company who couldn't give the slightest fuck whether I lived or died. 

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18 minutes ago, foam said:

 

Have you not heard the questions from the latest edition? 

 

- What would a colleague say about you? 

- Can you tell me about a time where you could have acted differently?

Had an interview a month ago, both those questions came up.

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Do you reckon the 2nd one should be answered with how you could have done it better or you could get away with I could have just fucked it off but I made the effort because I'm a fucking hero type answer? 

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