MICHAEL OWEN BROCHURE

[Guest simon]

MICHAEL OWEN BROCHURE: The complete 32-page agents' dossier on the fallen Newcastle star and former England striker | Mail Online

MICHAEL OWEN BROCHURE: The complete 32-page agents' dossier on the fallen Newcastle star and former England striker

By SPORTSMAIL REPORTER

Last updated at 9:53 AM on 20th June 2009

 

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Michael Owen, 'the athlete; the ambassador; the icon', is laid bare in all his former glory here in the 32-page brochure distributed to elite football clubs across Europe, touting the ex-England striker as a potential summer signing.

 

Do you want your club to sign the former Liverpool prodigy, turned Newcastle flop?

 

Have a good read of the 32 pages below and have your say using the comments section at the foot of this page.

 

Sorry it wont let me post the pages but they are very readable and supisingly very attractive. I think he is still worth a gamble;e if other targets arnt reached.

[StevieH]

[JohnnyH]

I'll take 2 please. Excuse me, this one seems to be broken again.

[paddyberger15]

Brand Values. Fuck off.

[James Dean]

Na.

[The Bugged Out]

 

brand values? fuck off will ya.

[Moo]

Fuck me that's cringey.

[Randy Marsh]

That picture looks like Xabi.

 

Extremely sad by the way. It's astonishing how much he has fallen. 7 years ago when he got his Ballon D'Or on the pitch before the Derby County game, I'd never have thought he'd now be resorting to advertising himself in a brochure like some kind of new apartment block or car model, to anyone who'll take him. Just goes to show, the only way is down when you leave Liverpool.

 

Also, in football terms, how can Michael Owen be classed as having "Young" as a brand value?

[Guest simon]

[Guest simon]

[Josef Svejk]

 

Charismatic? Michael Owen?

[Flying Pig]

Charismatic? Michael Owen?

 

Exactly, even when he played for us I couldn't defend his 'personality of a ping pong ball'.

[Elite]

What a bellend.

[philyhamann]

lol

[James Dean]

Is this for real?

[Spy Bee]

I can't help but like him...

 

Here's my brochure:

 

[Dermot]

I feel so sorry for him.

 

I would still have him back and I think in these circumstances we would get him on our terms and would have a player keen to show that he is not past it.

 

I know that he has brought this all on himself but I just remember the good times and hate to see where he is now.

[Randy Marsh]

Is this for real?

 

Doubt they'd have him back mate.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'll get my coat.

[James Dean]

I wanted to neg you, but I just couldn't.

[GJM]

I know he's not everybody's favorite ex-player, but please do keep in mind that it's not Owen himself that has compiled this glossy pile of marketing wank-speak. He has an organization managing his affairs, this is the kind of thing that those kinds of organizations do.

 

It's a little sad, and a far from fitting twilight for a player who, in his prime, was one of the most lethal that I have ever seen play for us (and nice article, Woo, made me very nostalgic). Of greater concern is that fact that there is clearly a market for this kind of garbage - this is the language of modern football. That is truly depressing.

[paddyberger15]

I know he's not everybody's favorite ex-player, but please do keep in mind that it's not Owen himself that has compiled this glossy pile of marketing wank-speak. He has an organization managing his affairs, this is the kind of thing that those kinds of organizations do.

 

It's a little sad, and a far from fitting twilight for a player who, in his prime, was one of the most lethal that I have ever seen play for us (and nice article, Woo, made me very nostalgic). Of greater concern is that fact that there is clearly a market for this kind of garbage - this is the language of modern football. That is truly depressing.

 

That's the one.

[The Infamous_LF]

 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

 

Charismatic?

 

I have seen more charisma shown by my fridge. There is other shit but that one hit a chord for me.

[The Infamous_LF]

I am actually dying here

[The Infamous_LF]

 

FFS hahaha

 

Can't eat my pancakes

[The Infamous_LF]

I actually feel sorry for him this is the footballing equivalent of flyers in phoneboxes in Soho.