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whats the most times youve pulled the flush..


windass
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I once had a proper nasty post-cider-liqui-shit in my ex birds toilet but it wouldn't flush. The cold water wasn't working so I went downstairs to get a jug and had to throw jig after jug of steaming hot water down the shitter, took about 20 minutes and the smell of the warmed up brown-matter was unbearable.

 

Turns out her mingebag stepdad turns off the cold water at night (wtf?)

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4 .

However when I started a new job back in 2001 I had a poop in the downstairs loo.It would just not go down and seeing as it was my first day I did not want to leave it there so after trying everything I eventually picked it up with the bog brush and put it in the middle section of a loo roll .After careful navigation I chucked it in the inside bin with all the tea bags and stuff .Result.

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I always do huge bog monsters that rise up in anger when the loo is flushed. I always do a courtesy flush, as soon as it hits the water - even in the shitter at home. Four flushes would be normal for me.

 

I did one at my wifes flat when she was a student - sharing with 2 other gals. The beast refused to be flushed away. I couldn't leave it there in a house full of ladies. So I thought I would chop it up with the bogbrush.

 

It was a disaster the thing refused to be chopped. Furthermore the bogbrush was completely shit covered.

 

I was having a personal disaster. I eventually managed to divide the monster in half and flush it away. Now I had to do something about the poo-coated bogbrush.

 

Obviously the bath presented itself as a good solution. I put the brush under the cold tap and turned the tap on slightly. Yeah...OK...smart-arse, I know now!! The water came out of the tap at one hundred miles an hour and splattered turd all around the plughole area. I was in a world of pain.

 

It took me about 25 minutes to clean up, using various shampoos and stuff. I couldn't go out of the room to get any cleaning agents.

 

I had to think of an excuse of why I was so long. I was toying with the idea of saying "Sorry I took so long girls, I took advantage of being upstairs to try on some of your underwear." It was certainly less embarassing than "Sorry I took so long, I pebble dashed your bath with shit.". Anyway I decided to feign illness.

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Guest davelfc

Since I've replaced the old siphon flush with one of those new fangled push button ones that just opens a flap I find that the logs are swept away much quicker.

 

But maybe 8 times in the past, not caused by floaters but by blockage. Followed by the search in the garden for a stick to prod it all with.

 

Lovely subject BTW

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I always do huge bog monsters that rise up in anger when the loo is flushed. I always do a courtesy flush, as soon as it hits the water - even in the shitter at home. Four flushes would be normal for me.

 

I did one at my wifes flat when she was a student - sharing with 2 other gals. The beast refused to be flushed away. I couldn't leave it there in a house full of ladies. So I thought I would chop it up with the bogbrush.

 

It was a disaster the thing refused to be chopped. Furthermore the bogbrush was completely shit covered.

 

I was having a personal disaster. I eventually managed to divide the monster in half and flush it away. Now I had to do something about the poo-coated bogbrush.

 

Obviously the bath presented itself as a good solution. I put the brush under the cold tap and turned the tap on slightly. Yeah...OK...smart-arse, I know now!! The water came out of the tap at one hundred miles an hour and splattered turd all around the plughole area. I was in a world of pain.

 

It took me about 25 minutes to clean up, using various shampoos and stuff. I couldn't go out of the room to get any cleaning agents.

 

I had to think of an excuse of why I was so long. I was toying with the idea of saying "Sorry I took so long girls, I took advantage of being upstairs to try on some of your underwear." It was certainly less embarassing than "Sorry I took so long, I pebble dashed your bath with shit.". Anyway I decided to feign illness.

 

Funniest thing I've read in ages... repped for humour and honesty

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Guest davelfc
I always do huge bog monsters that rise up in anger when the loo is flushed. I always do a courtesy flush, as soon as it hits the water - even in the shitter at home. Four flushes would be normal for me.

 

I did one at my wifes flat when she was a student - sharing with 2 other gals. The beast refused to be flushed away. I couldn't leave it there in a house full of ladies. So I thought I would chop it up with the bogbrush.

 

It was a disaster the thing refused to be chopped. Furthermore the bogbrush was completely shit covered.

 

I was having a personal disaster. I eventually managed to divide the monster in half and flush it away. Now I had to do something about the poo-coated bogbrush.

 

Obviously the bath presented itself as a good solution. I put the brush under the cold tap and turned the tap on slightly. Yeah...OK...smart-arse, I know now!! The water came out of the tap at one hundred miles an hour and splattered turd all around the plughole area. I was in a world of pain.

 

It took me about 25 minutes to clean up, using various shampoos and stuff. I couldn't go out of the room to get any cleaning agents.

 

I had to think of an excuse of why I was so long. I was toying with the idea of saying "Sorry I took so long girls, I took advantage of being upstairs to try on some of your underwear." It was certainly less embarassing than "Sorry I took so long, I pebble dashed your bath with shit.". Anyway I decided to feign illness.

 

Reminds me of the apocryphal tale of the bloke that went to meet his girlfriends posh parents at their house. During the meal he got the urge to use the toilet. After flushing he was faced with an 'unflushable' and rather than embarrass himself by leaving it and sensing he had spent far too much time upstairs he took drastic action.

 

He grabbed a load of toilet roll and reached into the bowl, fighting back his impulse to throw up, he hurled the turd out of the window, flushed the toilet and scrubbed his hands.

 

Happy with himself he wandered back into the room downstairs. He noticed that everyone was looking at him in horror, he quickly scanned his shirt and trousers, no, he was clean, his zip was up.

 

Then he noticed everyone look upwards, his eyes moved upwards slowly and then he saw it. A big splatted turd on the glass roof of the conservatory.

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On a slightly different angle, my story was when I was 16 and used to go over my mate's house for SNES battles on Mario Kart, etc. One evening I was storing up a cruise missile in my arse before making the dash to the toilet to deploy the weapon. After wiping, flushing and washing I made my way back to my joypad and thought no more of it. Ten minutes later, my mate's mother made her way into the bathroom and quickly made her way out into my mate's bedroom and dragged him out. My curious nature got the better of me and followed them into the bathroom where my mate with a towel over his face pointed to the pan. Reluctantly peering in knowing I was the last visitor, I was greeted by my nuclear weapon with several shit stained sheets of toilet paper surrounding it ever so neatly. After several attempts to flush the stubborn bastard, defeat was accepted and my mate's dad arrived with a big bucket of water to send the torpedo and its friends on its merry way. Ironically, thanks to my mate and his old man it's a story that never seems to go away.... Suffice it to say, in the subsequent 18 years since, I never leave the pan before making sure the coast is clear....

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