Bald

[Captain Turdseye]

Mine’s receding a tad but nothing major. Pre-Corona I would go to the barbers for a short back and sides every three weeks because it grows back so fast. Had to shave every other day too or I’d look even more of a twat than normal.
 

During lockdown I bought some clippers. started off at No.3 but quickly thought ‘fuck it’ and went all the way down to No.1. This then allowed me to let my facial hair grow whilst looking a tiny bit less of a twat than it normally would. Now I just trim my head and my face once a fortnight. 
 

It’s been a revelation. 

[lifetime fan]

On 31/07/2020 at 21:59, Section_31 said:

Hair transplants are mad, they all look shit and presumably cost a comb. 

.

[Mook]

I've been getting my missus to shave my hair with clippers the last month or so but I can tell she's going to get sick of it & am looking for tips on doing it myself...

 

1 Where should I do it, in the bathroom & then just hoover the hair up?

2 how the fuck do I do the back evenly, two mirrors?

 

This is the sort of thing that causes me great anxiety.

[VladimirIlyich]

5 minutes ago, Mook said:

I've been getting my missus to shave my hair with clippers the last month or so but I can tell she's going to get sick of it & am looking for tips on doing it myself...

 

1 Where should I do it, in the bathroom & then just hoover the hair up?

2 how the fuck do I do the back evenly, two mirrors?

 

This is the sort of thing that causes me great anxiety.

I have shaved my own hair for about 20 odd years. To see the back you need a bathroom cabinet with a mirror attached and a hand mirror to see the back. As clippers have preset lengths you should be able to shave it all to the same length easily. 

[Section_31]

17 minutes ago, Mook said:

I've been getting my missus to shave my hair with clippers the last month or so but I can tell she's going to get sick of it & am looking for tips on doing it myself...

 

1 Where should I do it, in the bathroom & then just hoover the hair up?

2 how the fuck do I do the back evenly, two mirrors?

 

This is the sort of thing that causes me great anxiety.

I've got a decent swivel hair clipper, it's designed for using yourself and you can rotate the head to do the back and side, you can also get one with a guard on that's round and does a similar job, but more of a buzz cut. Mine does a passable job.

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

27 minutes ago, Mook said:

I've been getting my missus to shave my hair with clippers the last month or so but I can tell she's going to get sick of it & am looking for tips on doing it myself...

 

1 Where should I do it, in the bathroom & then just hoover the hair up?

2 how the fuck do I do the back evenly, two mirrors?

 

This is the sort of thing that causes me great anxiety.

Shave the lot with foam and a decent blade. No tidying required.

[Bjornebye]

30 minutes ago, Mook said:

I've been getting my missus to shave my hair with clippers the last month or so but I can tell she's going to get sick of it & am looking for tips on doing it myself...

 

1 Where should I do it, in the bathroom & then just hoover the hair up?

2 how the fuck do I do the back evenly, two mirrors?

 

This is the sort of thing that causes me great anxiety.

You had a decent head of hair last time I saw you 

[Geoff Woade]

I’m bald, have been since about 30 and I hate it. Keep it shaved to the wood because even after 2 days the horseshoe starts to show round the sides. 
If there was a cure that would make it grow back properly but it cost 50 grand I’d happily get into contract killing to raise the dosh. I’d have a full ‘Torres 2007’ mane.

Those new type wigs they’ve got now that are properly chopped into your remaining hair and glued on - I accept they look boss but they’re about a grand and also I have this massive fear that you hatfish a decent lass but while you’re boffing away she pulls your hair and the whole thing comes off in her hand. That ends with a single gunshot after you’ve retired to your study with your bottle of choice.

Even before that, imagine having to turn up in front of your mates, hairless one week, prime Elvis the week after. I’m sure they’d not say anything apart from commenting on how good you look.

I think my only hope is that I witness a murder and have to go into witness protection program starting completely afresh with nobody I ever met before, might treat myself to it then and would still probably fire a couple of those hardcore staples into it just to be sure it doesn’t slide off in hot weather.
 

 

[VladimirIlyich]

5 minutes ago, Geoff Woade said:

I’m bald, have been since about 30 and I hate it. Keep it shaved to the wood because even after 2 days the horseshoe starts to show round the sides. 
If there was a cure that would make it grow back properly but it cost 50 grand I’d happily get into contract killing to raise the dosh. I’d have a full ‘Torres 2007’ mane.

Those new type wigs they’ve got now that are properly chopped into your remaining hair and glued on - I accept they look boss but they’re about a grand and also I have this massive fear that you hatfish a decent lass but while you’re boffing away she pulls your hair and the whole thing comes off in her hand. That ends with a single gunshot after you’ve retired to your study with your bottle of choice.

Even before that, imagine having to turn up in front of your mates, hairless one week, prime Elvis the week after. I’m sure they’d not say anything apart from commenting on how good you look.

I think my only hope is that I witness a murder and have to go into witness protection program starting completely afresh with nobody I ever met before, might treat myself to it then and would still probably fire a couple of those hardcore staples into it just to be sure it doesn’t slide off in hot weather.
 

 

Be proud of your shaved bonce. Wigs and transplants look shit and are a waste of money.

[Geoff Woade]

Just now, VladimirIlyich said:

Be proud of your shaved bonce. Wigs and transplants look shit and are a waste of money.

Some of them now are genuinely top but the upkeep costs are an outrage.

[John102]

I was terrified of going bald as a kid. I think there are 2 fellas in the family with a head of hair, so i knew it was inevitable.

 

I think i tried to hang on to it for a year too long. Id walk along the pier head on my way to work, trying to battle with the wind as it blew my fringe every which way, revealing my receding hairline.

 

I eventually shaved it off. Whilst i dont get the attention from the women that i once did, im married, so its not too much of an issue. I cant lay all the blame at the door of my hair to be honest, as ive aged terribly and also put on enough weight for my mother in law to regularly ask if i am pregnant.

 

Saving your hair is easy enough. I do it over a dry bath. Its easy enough to gather up in toilet roll and then flush. Im used to shaving it now and can do the back by feel. If you are starting out, i recommend just going over and over the back until it starts to feel raw and you feel like your taking half your scalp off. 

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

If I could be permanently bald no shaving required I would love it.

[Mook]

14 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

You had a decent head of hair last time I saw you 

That was June 2019. It's rapidly deteriorated the last 12 months.

 

I'm not very happy about it to be honest but the only dignified thing to do is chop it off.

[Tony Moanero]

On 03/08/2020 at 09:27, Dr Nowt said:

I’ve got an image etched on my mind of Tony looking like Terry Nutkins dressed as Sonny Crockett.

Haha. I haven’t had my hair cut since December 2019. I used to have really thick, wavy hair. It’s straighter now and a lot thinner, especially on top. The length hides the fact I’ve receded loads at the temples. It’s a bit like this, but longer.

 

[Lee909]

1 hour ago, Mook said:

I've been getting my missus to shave my hair with clippers the last month or so but I can tell she's going to get sick of it & am looking for tips on doing it myself...

 

1 Where should I do it, in the bathroom & then just hoover the hair up?

2 how the fuck do I do the back evenly, two mirrors?

 

This is the sort of thing that causes me great anxiety.

Clippers then a razor is best for me. Using the razor kills the worry about a good line back of your head. I like using a razor I've used a couple of time to take the sharpest edge off as catching your head with a razor stings and bleeds like fuck. And you end up with a clump of hair you need to leave until the cut has sealed. I've only done it once in over 10 years

Having said that I do it by feel and only have a single mirror. 

 

Over the bath or a hard floor for the initial cut and then sink and shower for razor. 

[Lee909]

I should note my hair was on a losing streak in my early 20s. I'm pretty sure if was the work in damp proofing I did out of school. Nobody wore the safety shit and I'm sure the spraying of chemicals, especially woodworm shit fucked it up. My Grandad hair has only just badly thinned in last 5 years and he's approaching 90 and I'm very like him. 

 

So as others have said, fuck trying to hide it, I gave up quicker than the French Army in 1940. 

[General Dryness]

2 hours ago, Mook said:

I've been getting my missus to shave my hair with clippers the last month or so but I can tell she's going to get sick of it & am looking for tips on doing it myself...

 

1 Where should I do it, in the bathroom & then just hoover the hair up?

2 how the fuck do I do the back evenly, two mirrors?

 

This is the sort of thing that causes me great anxiety.

Get cordless clippers and do it outside, the hair just blows away. I do a grade 0 all over and just do it by touch. No mirrors required.

[Shitty Arse]

5 hours ago, Mook said:

I've been getting my missus to shave my hair with clippers the last month or so but I can tell she's going to get sick of it & am looking for tips on doing it myself...

 

1 Where should I do it, in the bathroom & then just hoover the hair up?

2 how the fuck do I do the back evenly, two mirrors?

 

This is the sort of thing that causes me great anxiety.

Bathroom cabinet on wall. Hand mirror to check back. Just stand over sink. Easy. I’ve been doing mine like this for years since my mid 30s. Couldn’t imagine not having a skinhead now.

We are the lucky ones really. As we’re getting older hair has the tendency to sprout from some unsightly places. Nose hair. Hairy ears! If you’re maintaining a sleek head by shaving once a week you’ll be better groomed than people who are only going the barbers every few months.

Get some decent clippers with decent attachments and you can even keep your facial hair and eyebrows in good nick if that’s your thing. Save a fortune in trips to the barbers. Also if you have any scars on your head from any scrapes you’ve gotten into over the years a skinhead will show them off to full effect. This can be a great conversation starter. I say embrace it.

[Paulie Dangerously]

8 hours ago, Mook said:

I've been getting my missus to shave my hair with clippers the last month or so but I can tell she's going to get sick of it & am looking for tips on doing it myself...

 

1 Where should I do it, in the bathroom & then just hoover the hair up?

2 how the fuck do I do the back evenly, two mirrors?

 

This is the sort of thing that causes me great anxiety.

Switch to using a razor mate. Get Gillette 2 blade disposables, use the clippers to get it down to a number 1 and then every 2 days razor it. Just use your hands to make sure you have done the back, and then do behind your ears etc in the bathroom mirror. 

[Total Longo]

8 hours ago, Geoff Woade said:

I’m bald, have been since about 30 and I hate it. Keep it shaved to the wood because even after 2 days the horseshoe starts to show round the sides. 
If there was a cure that would make it grow back properly but it cost 50 grand I’d happily get into contract killing to raise the dosh. I’d have a full ‘Torres 2007’ mane.

Those new type wigs they’ve got now that are properly chopped into your remaining hair and glued on - I accept they look boss but they’re about a grand and also I have this massive fear that you hatfish a decent lass but while you’re boffing away she pulls your hair and the whole thing comes off in her hand. That ends with a single gunshot after you’ve retired to your study with your bottle of choice.

Even before that, imagine having to turn up in front of your mates, hairless one week, prime Elvis the week after. I’m sure they’d not say anything apart from commenting on how good you look.

I think my only hope is that I witness a murder and have to go into witness protection program starting completely afresh with nobody I ever met before, might treat myself to it then and would still probably fire a couple of those hardcore staples into it just to be sure it doesn’t slide off in hot weather.
 

 

Is hatfish just catfish for bald dudes who don't want to admit they are bald, like The Edge from U2?

[Total Longo]

On 31/07/2020 at 20:36, Section_31 said:

Why do bald men look in the mirror seeing as nothing ever changes?

I usually get lost in my own eyes.

[Remmie]

One of the guys at work got a transplant in Turkey, cost him about £1,800 and they used his own follicles from the back and sides. I only met him afterwards but there is no way I could tell, they did a great job. If it's something that bothers you and affects your confidence, I don't see any problem with getting a transplant if you can afford it. 

 

I've recently shaved mine to a number 1 and now can't stop touching the bald spots, they're so soft and purdy, like girl's skin. Jingaling jingaling 

[Stouffer]

6 hours ago, General Dryness said:

Get cordless clippers and do it outside, the hair just blows away. I do a grade 0 all over and just do it by touch. No mirrors required.

I do that in the bath, doesn't take much practice to be able to do it by touch.

 

It's not taking long to do the top of my head nowadays. 

[Bjornebye]

9 hours ago, Mook said:

That was June 2019. It's rapidly deteriorated the last 12 months.

 

I'm not very happy about it to be honest but the only dignified thing to do is chop it off.

Nightmare mate. If I start going balled I’ve already told loved ones that’s me done. I appreciate a decent bald head it’s just I really don’t suit it.I’ve found grey hairs in my beard the last few months so that’s my current drama. You bald cunt. Gonna start calling you Renton 

[Bjornebye]

2 minutes ago, Stouffer said:

I do that in the bath, doesn't take much practice to be able to do it by touch.

 

It's not taking long to do the top of my head nowadays. 

Nah man you’ll end up with a stinking horrible blockage